hey it's Riaz Meghji founder of the Every Conversation Counts platform if
this is your first time here this is the channel to help you make deeper
connections ask the questions that create breakthrough moments and become a
captivating storyteller on every stage normally I would provide you with videos
that have several tips and tools to help you build human connection in your life
this week though I wanted to give you something different and share one idea a
few months ago a pivotal conversation introduced one of the most powerful
questions you can ask someone that is coping with grief and loss you see last
October my father died suddenly his heart just stopped it was a shock for
all of us it still hurts and I still miss being able to talk to him but
before he left us whenever I found out someone had suffered a loss I used to be
terrified of saying the wrong thing in fact I would selfishly avoid bringing it
up to people for that reason but if I did mention it I would typically reach
out with the common response as we all know I'm so sorry for your loss
thoughts and prayers are with you or let me know if there's anything I can do to
help maybe it was the fear of making things worse maybe a fear of getting too
close to grief itself either way I would try and avoid the conversation now for
the past few years I've had the privilege of hosting the annual gift of
love fundraising gala which supports Canuck placed Children's Hospice here in
British Columbia being a parent this cause is one that's close to my heart
and I am always in awe of the parents who demonstrate the courage to share
their devastating stories of the children they have lost and I remember
sitting at a table beside one of the lead family counselors from Canuck place
her name is Debra and she has a heart of gold and I asked her about how she does
her job and connects with families that are dealing with loss and after
listening to how she supports them I asked her point-blank Debra what is the
best thing you can say to someone that is grieving her response is shifted my
perspective forever she said it's not about what you can say
it's about what you can ask them you want to allow them to share something
meaningful she said the one thing she does to create a safe space for them to
heal is to ask them this what do you want me to know about them this is a
beautiful beautiful question think about it it's an invitation that allows the
other person to share what they're comfortable with you'll get to hear a
story something meaningful something wrong and this is your chance to lean in
listen and just be where you are with that person during the coronavirus
crisis I saw CNN's Chris Cuomo interview a woman who had just lost her brother
due to the virus her brother had been working on the front lines at the
hospital and Cuomo opened the interview and asked her what do you want people to
know about this beautiful human being her response was pure gratitude for the
question followed by a profound conversation on
life family and it was filled with raw and personal storytelling what if the
next time you have the opportunity to support someone dealing with loss you
change up and put aside the traditional responses and instead ask one powerful
question what do you want me to know about them
if there was one thing for the record that I'd want you to know about my dad
he made the people he met feel like a million dollar bill thanks for watching
this
you