- This video is going to show you
the most powerful confidence secrets
that will change your life from the inside out.
So if you're feeling doubt, if you're feeling blocked,
if you're feeling like you don't believe in yourself,
then simply apply these things I share with you
because it will completely change your life.
Now, the first one to understand about courage,
about confidence in general, is that the energy you embody,
the energy you are feeling, is emanating out
and other people are feeling it.
So many times,
if we feel like we're not confident on ourselves,
that energy's going out, people are feeling it,
and people are simply responding to us
based on the energy we are embodying.
Now, an interesting thing I've done
by looking at my own life
is there were certain points in my life
when I just made a choice and I just decided
that I was a new version of myself.
I remember distinctly in freshman year of high school.
I, prior to that, literally thought that I was not smart.
I thought I was pretty dumb.
I got C's and D's.
I never really got A's or B's.
And there was one moment that I remember
that completely changed it.
And I think that this microcosm will help you understand
the macrocosm of confidence.
So what happened is in English class,
I got a good grade on a certain test.
And I remember specifically the teacher came over to me
and was like, "Wow, you did really well."
I got like a 92% and it surprised me.
And she said, in that moment she gave me the paper,
that I was one of the top persons
that scored on that test in the whole class.
And in that moment,
I just simply started to see myself as a smart person.
I started to see myself at the top of the class.
It changed my sense of self-identity.
From that moment going forward,
I went from D's and C's to A's and B's.
And it came easy to me
because something changed on my self image.
Something changed and it was simply a meaning,
a choice that I made that completely changed the way
that I saw myself.
So realize that our lives, and just lives in general,
we are constantly deciding who we are
and what we are capable of.
And if we are feeling not confident in something,
all that simply means is we have
some type of past meaning that is there,
normally handed from our parents or from childhood,
that is on autopilot, that we can begin to look at
and we can reframe.
We can give it a new meaning.
So which meanings have maybe you got
from your dad or your mom?
I noticed that I, sometimes it's easier,
when you're looking outside looking in,
because you're not inside the bottle.
It's hard to read the ingredients
if you're inside the bottle.
And for my own life,
what I've done is I've looked at my dad's confidence,
my mom's confidence.
And I look at their confidence
and I see where have I maybe absorbed
certain things from them.
Not in a way, like, I blame you for this,
or I blame you for that.
But we tend to carry similar patterns
and similar energies that our parents may have.
So by looking at them,
it's sometimes easier to see what's in theirs.
Then we can kinda see what's in ours,
and for my dad, I could see he's a total nice guy,
kind of a people pleaser.
And I can see how my dad had a certain,
my dad has confidence in his job.
My dad's a fire investigator, he's very good at it.
He's got a lot of confidence when it comes to his job,
but in his dating life,
I could see that there's some confidence
that he can work on, that he can become more aware of.
And I could see that,
so then I'm able to look at myself and say, oh,
in my own life, especially back in the past,
I had more confidence in my purpose of making YouTube videos
and stuff but less confidence
in the relationship sector of my life.
And then that allowed me to start looking at that,
and it was a similar thing for my mom.
I could see how there are certain characteristics
that I absorbed and I could tell that
if I could reframe them and look at them in a new way,
it would completely change the energy dynamic
and the way I was showing up in the world.
Now, the second confidence secret.
So the first one's becoming aware of the meaning
and choosing to give things new meaning,
just making a choice about your identity,
the way you show up in the world,
knowing people are simply responding
to the way you are either training them to respond to you
or the way you're showing up.
Now, one of the most powerful things that I've learned,
that has helped me to really embody confidence,
and maybe you look at my videos and sometimes people say,
"How does Aaron know what he knows?
"He says it so confidently."
And there's a level of certainty and trust
that you begin to gain with yourself
the more you are being yourself.
And the word confidence actually comes from some Latin word
that means like confidary or something like that.
And basically it means trust.
And the question is, how do you trust yourself
and how can you trust in the universe?
And the second confidence secret
that has completely changed my life
is understanding that whatever thing you think is your flaw,
if you were to feature your flaws,
you would then completely reframe it
and you would feel different about yourself.
So we all have a certain level of shame,
certain things about ourselves
that we don't necessarily accept.
Now, the interesting thing is, if we don't accept it,
we put out this energy that says
there's something wrong with me,
and other people can feel that off of us.
Therefore, reflecting back to us
that unacceptance that we feel about ourselves.
Reality is only reflecting back to us
that which we believe to be true.
So feature your flaws, feature your flaws.
I know for myself,
there are things that I felt not confident about,
and the more I embodied my true self
and just didn't give a shit,
the more that other people also just accepted them about me.
One of them is my height.
I'm five foot nine.
So I'm not like six foot,
like you're supposed to be in order to be, you know,
moderately attractive in the modern age, right?
But I'm five foot nine.
And being that there was a lot,
there was a time when I felt very self-conscious about that.
I felt like there was something,
like I would almost like wanna wear shoes
that had like really high things on them
so that I could walk around and feel a little bit taller.
You know, I have like friends that are like,
one of my best friends is six foot three.
My other best friend's six foot.
And next to them, I'm like this much shorter them.
You know what I mean?
I'm like couple inches shorter of them
and I would feel self-conscious about it.
And it was funny 'cause I was talking to my friend
about this and my friend was telling like,
he's like, "It's funny because I'm six foot
"and I don't even care.
"Like if I was 5'9", it wouldn't make a difference,"
but it's almost kinda like you always want
what you don't have.
And he was looking at me and he's like,
"Well you have such a full head of hair."
He's like, "I wish I had such a full head
"of hair like that."
It's like, there's always something, you know?
You might look at someone else and be like,
"Oh, she looks this way.
"I wish I had this little characteristics,"
and we kinda take for granted certain things.
And I have a buddy that's six foot four
and he's told me before that, like,
no, I have a buddy that's six foot six.
And he said that that's almost too tall
to where he's gotta, like,
he almost feels like he's embarrassed by how tall he is,
so he kind of like shrinks.
And sometimes you'll see these tall guys
with not good posture because they don't want to be
on display everywhere they go.
There's a quote by Shaq, Shaquille O'Neal,
and he said what made him different is, he's seven foot two
but he owned it.
He wasn't ashamed.
He said a lot of times you get these tall guys
that are seven footers, and they're NBA players,
and they're like ashamed of being that tall,
so they don't play with a lot of aggressiveness.
They're almost afraid to take up space.
But what Shaq did is he featured his flaw
and he turned it into his superpower
and he became one of the best like basketball players
in his position ever.
In the same way, own whatever you think your insecurity is.
I've simply owned that I'm only five foot nine.
And because of that, it's like people I find in my life
like even my girlfriend, my girlfriend's like 5'8".
She's a little bit shorter than me.
And she's like, she like totally doesn't even care
that I'm only an inch taller.
And even, in fact, she was told by one of her girlfriends,
before meeting me, one of her girlfriends was like,
"Oh, you're not gonna like Aaron.
"He's short.
"He's only five, you know,
"like maybe a little bit taller than you."
And she's like, "I don't care.
"I wanna, like, I still wanna meet him."
And then she met me and she's like,
"Oh it doesn't freaking matter," you know?
But I've noticed that when I used to have
self-conscious about it, I'd go out into the world
and I would feel very afraid of almost like,
I would feel like that was a flaw,
and therefore, other people would probably
be picking up on that insecurity.
I have my buddy, I have a buddy of mine
who's considered more of a shy introvert.
And he, for the longest time,
felt like he should have been different.
He felt like he should be more loud.
Or in groups, he like felt like, you know,
he was like holding himself back in certain ways.
And then one day, he just decided to own it.
He decided to own his shyness
and he realized that when he speaks,
it's even more powerful because less is more for him.
And that helped him to understand his power.
So the more he was able to accept his own shyness,
funny enough, the more extroverted he is,
and the more he speaks when he wants,
and the more he realizes
he doesn't have to be someone he's not.
The more I've accepted my own insecurities,
the more I've actually featured them and reframed them,
the more powerful I've felt.
So how can you feature your own flaws?
I've seen many different other people do this,
and in different ways, in different sectors of life.
Doesn't have to just be appearance, by the way.
You know, I could feel self-conscious.
I have a loud fucking voice.
My voice is loud.
And there were a time when I felt self-conscious about that
because people would tell me, "Why is your voice so loud?"
Everyone in my family has a loud voice.
I have my family come here a couple days ago
and this house got loud.
It was like echoing and shit.
And I just realized, oh, it's just how we are.
We have loud voices in my family.
But imagine we feel self-conscious about it.
Feel like we shouldn't be so loud.
And we held ourselves back, we were playing small.
We felt like we weren't good enough.
It would completely change the energy dynamic.
So one thing you could begin to do
is to look at what you think is your flaw
and begin to feature it.
Begin to almost realize that's your strength.
That's what makes you different.
And as you do that,
you will find that it's like people respond to you
differently simply because you are owning it.
People are also attracted to energy.
And for somebody that is, the older I've gotten.
You know, I'm 57 now.
The older I've gotten, I'm just kidding, I'm not 57.
The older I've gotten, though,
the more I have just accepted myself
and not gave a shit what people think.
So with confidence, it's like just own it, accept it.
Be it.
Allow yourself to be in that energy.
And as you own it, other people will accept it, too,
because you're giving them that frame.
Remember, people are responding to you
the way that you've trained them or allowed them to.
And it's also based on the energy you are embodying.
So for confidence as well,
the third confidence secret is one of the most powerful,
and I believe will completely transform your life
when you begin to embody the principles in it.
And before I share that, though,
there is a 21 Day Confidence Challenge
that is coming up July 1st to the 21st.
It's a way for you to wire in confidence, to remove doubt,
to be clear in your own purpose and also in your own frame.
So you're not tuning to other people,
you can easily set boundaries,
and you can really practically feature your flaws
in a very empowered way.
So if you wanna unleash your true power,
if you wanna remove doubt,
if you wanna remove the stagnation
that's keeping you where you are,
go to the website below and join now.
Now is the best time to join.
You'll see bonuses and stuff there, too.
And it's 21 days to a new confident you.
So if you haven't joined that yet,
it's a brand new challenge.
There'll be thousands of people that join
and every one of them always over delivers.
Read the comments in the link to see what's possible.
But in general, when it comes to confidence,
the third secret I wanna share with you is,
has to do with committing to your own values
and sense of identity.
So for this, understand that with confidence,
your word is your bond.
If you say something,
and you say you're going to do something,
and then you don't do it,
you have broken trust with yourself.
And remember confidence is about trust.
The root of the word confidence is trust.
So if we are saying, we're gonna do this one thing
and then we don't do it,
we're breaking our own sense of self-trust.
And if we're doing that with other people,
we say we're gonna be somewhere
and then we don't show up,
we are breaking our sense of trust.
And it's an interesting thing
because the more you live in integrity
with what you say you're gonna do,
and what you intend you're gonna do,
the more confident you start to feel about yourself.
Now, the other side of this
is understanding your own values.
Values are sort of like virtues that your identity lives by.
Most people do not know who they are or what they stand for.
I will tell you that if you stand for something
and you are adamant about your vision
or who you are or your mission, you will be more attractive.
The more I've gotten clear on myself
and I live by certain virtues, certain values.
I used to live by certain values, like validation seeking,
wanting people's approval.
People pleasing.
Those were values I used to live by.
Once I became aware that I was living by those values,
I then made the choice to live by different values
that are more attractive,
and also just values that are more authentic.
That is vulnerability.
It's one of my number one values.
That's why I shared with you the whole height thing.
And probably from hearing that,
you feel more connected to my story or me or something,
because I was willing to be vulnerable.
Vulnerable is the ability to show
your own wounds to other people, knowing you are worthy.
Doesn't mean you have to, like, look at this about me.
Look what's wrong with me, look what's wrong with me.
But it means that when it's authentic,
you express your heart.
In the past, the people pleasing nice guy,
like part of myself, was afraid to show women
that I was sexually attracted to them.
So I would remain as the friend.
I was like this friend, and for like a month or two,
I could totally see these women are like,
why isn't he making a move?
Why isn't he doing this?
And I was like, well, I just,
I don't wanna, I don't wanna get rejected.
It was me avoiding this rejection wound.
And then eventually I made the choice
that I live by the virtues of vulnerability.
So then, from then,
I would start to actually express how I really felt.
Hey, I'm attracted to you in this way.
Not trying to just do, you know, be this,
be friends with you.
And as I would start to be in that vulnerability,
it was amazing the different responses that I got,
because I was more confident.
I was more sure of myself.
And with my girlfriend now,
it's like the energy of when we first met
was me being that like assertive leading energy
and being vulnerable.
And that was not only attracted to her but I was leading.
So one of the most powerful things you could do
for attraction and for confidence
is to determine the values you live by,
and that's what we're gonna be doing
in that 21 Day Confidence Challenge
is we are going to be going through that of your own values
and making declarations of ways of embodying them
because our identity is completely,
like our reality is an equal proportion to our identity
and how we're showing up in the world.
And when we live according to higher values,
it changes everything, our whole entire life changes.
So in the 21 Day Confidence Challenge,
it's exactly what we're doing.
If you haven't joined yet,
you can hit the link in the top of the description box.
If you wanna know the five confidence secrets
that will play on what we're talking here
and go much deeper,
this will make you more attractive than ever,
watch this video right here.
People feel what you feel about you.
The energy inside of our bodies are contagious.
And based on how we feel about ourselves,
that energy is being emanated out
and other people are responding to us.