Hey everybody, happy thursday. Today's question comes from Youtube. You know YouTube, you're watching it right now.
But for those of you who are old viewers, you already know this information.
But for those of you who are new:
Welcome to the
Community and I want to let all of you know that below Monday videos is where I am most active in the comments.
You know, commenting on comments and all of that stuff, so if you have a burning question,
Or something that you want me to answer or possibly create a video about, you can ask it there!
So today's question comes from just that place and the question is: Hey Kati,
I was wondering if you could talk about depression when you're still functioning.
No one has taken me seriously and I feel to stop functioning is the only way to get help.
So this is a really good question, because I think for a lot of us
we struggle to get the help that we need, because we quote on quote function in our life, meaning:
we probably have a certain routine that we go through, kind of like what this person is talking about, that helps them essentially survive and show
up for work and show up for school and all of the things that are important.
But we know internally that we feel like shit and things are getting harder, and it's really hard to get out of bed
and it's hard to shower even though we're able to push ourselves through and do it.
How do we get help if that's where we're at?
I think the truth of it is, is we have to try to be as honest as possible and
I say that because I really want all of us to let them know
just how hard it is for us the function and that
we're barely hanging on by a thread and I would encourage you to even say to a professional, that maybe is the
gatekeeper for you getting the help that you need, I would encourage you to say: I
literally am hanging on by like a spiderweb
to my life and I don't want to have to fall apart in order to get the help
I need. Is there anything I can do preemptively before I completely fall apart?
Because I can't afford to lose my job or I can't afford to miss school
and that's the only motivation that's keeping me going right now. And you can even express like: hey
I barely get up, I get to what I need to do when I come home,
I'm exhausted
and I just lay there.
And I'm not
functioning at all.
Then I would also encourage you, cause something that I as a clinician recognize that we all have different levels of functioning
overall. We all have different capacities for stress, for anxiety, for depression, for functionality in life. We all have different
norms and different levels of what we can sustain.
And so I would mention that to them and say: hey, I know everyone functions at a different level, but for me
this is like the bare-bones functioning. The next step is me being in the hospital. And if you know, I
find it's okay to be a little aggressive and pushy, because sometimes we have to shout to be heard and I know that sucks,
but as a clinician,
I can tell you, my first day on a job, like when I was working at the eating disorder clinic, was like shocking to me.
Everything that happened was shocking, every person's illness became overwhelming hearing about their trauma and the traumatic past they've sustained was
overwhelming to me, and it was a lot. But after a few weeks,
we kind of become desensitized, because
there's so much going on, we hear so many story back to back to back
and we slowly just kind of normalize it and I know that that sucks and I'm not saying this is okay.
Just saying that's kind of like human nature and so I find some physicians that work in a hospital setting or in
urgent care or
where they have to pump clients through every five to ten minutes. They're really jaded and they don't want to hear us out
fully, but I find it if we are a little aggressive
and we're a little pushy. We have to assert ourselves, aggressive isn't even the right word, its assertive.
We assert ourselves and say something to the effect of:
By you not referring me today, what you're saying is: in order to get help you want me to become
hospitalized.
And I would even challenge them: would you put that in writing for me, because I'm barely hanging on. Like sometimes,
I I know it sucks
but we have to just like give it our all,
tell them exactly what we're feeling, exactly what's going on in order to get the help that we deserve, because we can all
quote on quote function at a certain level, but it's going to be different for everyone and there is no reason, if you're a clinician and
you're watching this: there's no reason that if someone comes to you and they say that they're really struggling,
there's no reason that we should send them back out without any help. I know our mental health systems are broken,
but find a way, find a group, find some support system, something
anything, because
we don't need to
completely fall apart, end up in the hospital, lose our job, get you know way behind on school, fail our classes, ruin friendships and relationships...
We don't have to get to that point to get help, so trust me
put together all of the things that you aren't able to do each day, put together all
of the thoughts and struggles that you have, put together
how hard it is for you to get up and go about your day and then come to them with all the information
and say the next step is I'm in the hospital and I really need your help.
And I know that it sucks and I hate that we have to take it this far,
but sometimes we just have to be pushy. I say this all the time in my livestreams,
we have to be the squeaky wheel that gets the oil and it's completely okay, because you deserve it!
You deserve to get the help that you need!
There's no reason for our whole lives to fall apart in order for that to happen,
we want to strike or we want to nip it in the butt before
we do fall apart, before we do lose our job and I know this video is not like that uplifting, but know
that there is help available. We just sometimes have to keep asking for it.
You got this, you got this, okay?! Write down your list and share in the comments, maybe some
phrases or things that you've said to clinicians to get the help that you need and deserve, because I know a lot of us have
talked about this. How we have to shout to be heard and then the waiting list is six months
and how do we get some extra support in between?
Share your tips and tricks, because I only know how it works in the states.
I'm learning more about places around the world and different systems of care,
but together we learn more and we get help more quickly and as always my website has chat
24/7. It obviously has to be a safe place, it is not meant for suicide assessment or for crisis,
but we have the crisis text line if you're in the states as well. I have free workbooks, free worksheets.
There's a ton of free resources available to get you through. I love you.
Thank you so much!
If you're new to my channel: click here to subscribe and keep asking your questions. And I will see you next time. Bye!
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