- Now I appreciate all the charitable givers
because we have reached our financial goals.
Hallelujah!
- [Audience] Hallelujah!
(audience clapping)
- Except for them stinking ass Johnson sisters.
Yes I said ass, because they say ass, in the Bible.
(audience laugh)
The question is why can't I? Hmm?
♪ Why can't I? ♪
♪ Have a 375 foot yacht? ♪
♪ Why can't I? ♪
(suspenseful music)
- You see?
None of you can give me one good reason
as to why I should go to church.
Plus, I haven't been in awhile.
- I know you haven't been in a while, but Black people,
we Black people, and Black associated people,
(laughing)
we go to church.
And you only been to church until you been to this church.
- Well, what kind of Black church is it?
Is it a mega church slash concert slash churchella?
- No, It's intimate.
- Ooo Hallelujah. - It's personal.
- It's, it's, it's- - Church! God dammit!
(upbeat music and clapping)
- [Audience] Pray!
Pray!
- Hallelujah! - Hallelujah.
- [Audience] Amen!
- First of all I would like to,
give an honor to God,
and to Jesus.
- Yes, I know him, I know him.
I know him!
♪ To my people ♪
♪ To my flock ♪
♪ To the money ♪
♪ Don't let it stop ♪
♪ To the window ♪
♪ To the wall ♪
♪ Till' the sweat drop down my balls are coming ♪
♪ Good God Almighty ♪
(audience clapping)
- Let me tell you right now,
everybody under this roof goes to church.
- Yeah, everybody but me.
Because I don't really believe in God.
(everybody exclaims)
(Pop collapses)
- Did I hear my baby say something about (indistinct)?
(heavy breathing)
- What are you talking about Sasha,
you don't believe in God?
- Come on Dad, there's so many different religions.
I mean, how can you possibly believe
that yours is the only one that can get you
into the kingdom of heaven?
- What?
- I mean, you guys don't seriously believe
in an old white guy living up in the sky,
wearing a Toga, do you?
- Look I got an old black man
with a white beard living in my pool house, what's up?
- You better watch your tone and hold her down.
I'm about to throw this holy water on her
- Pop, pop pop pop,
that's tap water!
- Tap water, Spring water, Holy water.
I don't care.
We got to wash this devil out of her.
I got to put some of this Holy water on me.
I believe she got the devil on me.
(speaking gibberish)
- Preach on preacher
Yes, Amen now.
- Now I heard there was a video tape running around with me
at the strip club, but I was there for chicken, Deacon?
- You sure are.
- Lou Williams was there for the lemon pepper.
- And I was there for the waps!
That's right, the wapbabalobap wings.
- Say that.
- That's why I was on my knees.
I was kneeling on stage.
So the wap sauce wouldn't get on my pants.
Because we don't need wap sauce on your pants
Say that with me, wap sauce-
- [Audience] Wap sauce-
- On your pants!
- [Audience] On your pants.
- That's why some of my choir has fled
and some of my flock has gone to another nest.
- It is about Jesus.
- Well, my Jesus is yoga.
- Oh! - Pops don't pass out.
- I mean come on yoga is like where I find my spirituality,
my salvation.
(chanting)
(upbeat music)
- Wait a minute Pop,
you looking sharp where you get that suit?
- This is part of Bishop TD Jake's Heaven Collection.
- Oh Lord.
- See, she does believe in God.
(laughter)