Hey y'all! We are back with another lesson from the Beyond Borders Talk Show. This week with neuro
language coach Christina Lorimer. In this lesson you will get some fascinating advice on how to
overcome your fears and even trauma of speaking english, so that you can start communicating
confidently. Christina welcome to the show! - Thank you! It's nice to be here. And if you are
new here every week we help you to understand fast native speech, to be understood by anyone,
and to connect to the world. Like reallifer Oscar who says that our videos motivate him
to not give up. Now we're excited to join you on your english learning journey too. It's simple:
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When you're learning another language you're adding something you're not deleting. And I think that's a common
misunderstanding. People think I need to like delete my portuguese in order to add in english.
It's like, no, the goal here is for you to become bilingual or multilingual and
we're you know we all have multiple identities in our everyday lives all the time. You know
I'm not the same person with my mom that I am necessarily you know with my best friend,
like we all have multiple identities that we're juggling all the time.
And now when we add in this new language that brings with it sort of this other identity and
this other Christina people used to always joke with me. There was like a spanish Christina and an
english Christina and now a portuguese Christina and like they're all just a little different.
Like one's a little happier, one seems a little bit more moody, like you know they have all of these
different. And I like to play with that because that actually helps me change those in my
brain, you know. I identify so much with South America, Central and South America culturally
like I identify a little bit more with some of those different cultural behaviors that I do with
the United States cultural behaviors around these things. And so it's almost like I'm living a part
of my identity and a part of my full self when I'm abroad in some of these other countries that
I feel like sometimes I have to restrict a little bit when I'm here.
So, hence the multiple identities. I mean I think the number one ask around learning languages,
specifically learning english that I would put out there to everyone is to really be super patient
and super kind to yourself as you're going through this process. Because I think that
the feelings that most inhibit you from prevent you from learning english are all these feelings
around that you're dumb, and you're not getting it and, it's not going fast enough, and a lot of
things around comparing yourself to other people. And so just know that everyone goes through that.
Everyone struggles with those things and what your job other than studying a little bit each
day and really putting yourself out there is to be really nice to yourself and really patient
with your brain and your body. Because it's especially if you're living in another country
because it's actually going through a lot. And that will only help you actually,
although it doesn't feel like it, it'll help you learn quicker if you're really just sort of like
patient and kind to yourself. So, that would be my ask. - I absolutely love that being patient and being
kind with yourself. I think that's applicable to learning english. And you're able to do
that with english it's going to be beneficial for all other areas of your life as well.
If you want to get better at speaking english then at some point you're going to have to start speaking.
Many learners tell me that they want to speak english but they don't have anyone
to practice with. Is this true for you? Well, we created the RealLife App to solve this problem!
At the touch of a button you will connect with another learner in a different part of the world
for a quick and engaging conversation so not only will you practice and increase your confidence
but you will also discover other cultures. What's more? You can listen to our podcast and talk show
episodes with full transcripts and vocabulary definitions, including the full interview
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Everyone has some sort of fear, right? Because it's our brains it's our natural sense, like it's just
what happens when we step outside our comfort zones and when we're super uncomfortable.
It's not something that our brains love, it's trying to move us away from that feeling and so
it's this internal struggle, right? There's a whole phase that you go through with language
learning everyone's is different but everyone has it where you're like you know, you have
to be so intentional about it. And I think that intentionality especially for this group of women
wasn't present for so long because that they thought that it was them and they were dumb,
and it was this and it was that, and it was all these different things. And I'm saying no this is
actually just what language learning is like it's really uncomfortable, it's you know... I like to
talk about the magic of language learning and how much it changed my own life and how important I
think it is, and how I just think it's the best thing I've ever done in my life. At the same time
not romanticize it too much and say, oh and also it's like it's gonna be pretty hard and you're
going to be really uncomfortable because if you don't then students feel uncomfortable and they're
like, I'm doing something wrong or someone doesn't understand them and they're like it's all me.
I'm like that's just no, no that's just part of it that's just a big part of it you know.
That's terrific, I could not agree more. It's one of the things I've always tried to
communicate to my students as well is you know, it's a difficult process and you know everything
that you want really is on the other side of your comfort zone. So, I mean that's true really with
anything that you want to learn is you have to push through that awkwardness that discomfort
like you were saying. - Totally. So, I learned a lot. And I think the thing that I learned most
in terms of like teaching english was it further reinforced what I already knew about the humanity
of it all, the humanity of learning languages and by that I mean I'm very convinced by this point
that learning a new language, but specifically when it comes to english
given all of its you know, heavy background and history and colonizing ways...
When it comes to learning english for sure for specific populations it sort of has nothing to
do with the language, the nuts and bolts of the words and the structures and the vocabulary, and
everything to do or maybe like 80/20 I don't know with the psychological and emotional barriers
that come along with that. I was working with a small group of women who had been discriminated
against basically their you know, lives in the language that they were now being told that they
had to learn. So, it was a lot you know, at that point I was very fluent in spanish too. So, I
you know, really started to realize the privilege and the power in teaching english via the
first language in that you know, we would obviously do a lot of activities in english,
and we would we were learning english. But I wasn't implementing at all, and I never
did before but I really didn't with this group a sort of like english only were only going to speak
english in this environment. It was more like, oh someone started crying, switch into spanish, sid
circle, what's that all about? Because without that you can't learn. Your brain fogs up there's
no point, there's no point in trying to force you know, activity continuous or something if
your brain's not even working, if you can't think because you're so upset, so... I think that was
that's sort of like, the main thing that I really took away from that experience.
What were some of those kind of techniques that you came up with at that point to deal with people who had somewhat
of a traumatic relationship? Maybe traumatic is not the right word, but a difficult relationship
with the language. - That's a good way of putting it. I mean more general things are just trying to
break down some of these like, common myths that we know and these common misunderstandings around
learning a language like, making mistakes is a bad thing when in fact it's like one of the
best things you can do as long as you learn from them. Sharing a lot of my own journey with spanish
while recognizing how different it is, right? While recognizing I started learning spain at
a spanish university, I started learning spanish at a spanish university in Spain
like, that didn't really matter but the fact that I also really had some struggles with it which
is what I do to this day with my students, they always get really surprised when I'm like, yeah
I was depressed when I couldn't speak and they were like, really? I'm like, yeah it's really hard
and you know like you're not the only one who feels this so a little bit of normalizing
what they were feeling, I think the simple fact of stuff talking about it makes a huge impact.
You don't have to love english. I get that you don't, and there's a lot of people who have to
learn english all over the world that don't aren't like, the portuguese word was just gonna come into
my mind but like, in love with it you know, and that impassioned is what I was gonna say,
but what I want you to do is, I want you to think of english as a stepmother,
okay? So, you don't really have a choice in the matter this thing, in this case this person,
this thing is going to live with you perhaps for the rest of your life, and being able to
civilly and productively interact with it is going to be really really important for you. And all
these different spheres of your life so what if english was like the stepmother in the situation,
you know? So like a lot of that kind of stuff you know reframing metaphors storytelling,
all these things that we know that work in general like when communicating something. But
again I think with her just saying that like I could see something click in her mind
and she was like, oh, and I was like, yeah she's here to stay whether you like it or not,
you know. This is just what's gonna happen and you're gonna have to live with her like,
how can we make this a livable relationship, you know? - Yeah, that makes total sense
one of the other things that struck me there too is that it seems like, you were helping your
students to realize that the experience they were having wasn't unique to them. I think even people
who don't have a traumatic experience you know, with the language they tend to think if they're
struggling with any part of it that it's their problem they're the only one experiencing it. So,
it sounds like that's something that you helped them to break through a little bit,
right? Is realizing that they weren't alone and kind of giving them that empathy.
When you find people that you identify with that will come, right? If you're a self
learner and you really want to go at it on your own too just always remember like, the basic
tenets of what's most important which is that the english needs to be relevant to your life,
it needs to be useful, you need to have some need for it, and it like has to be interesting.
Because if it's not you're like, you're not going to keep studying. You need to like it,
which is why some people are like, well this person said on instagram that it's
terrible to study english with music. I'm like, but are you in love with that song?
Will you listen to it 500 times? Because I have songs that I listen to 500 times
and that helped me learn spanish and helped me learn portuguese. And if you
are in love with that if you're in love with How I Met your Mother, or Breaking Bad or you know,
Rupaul's Drag Race, whatever it is like, then sure like learn english with that series you
know just make sure you're intentional about it. And do these different things but like,
I just don't... I'm not a big fan of limiting students. I mean, obviously if they're terrible
materials and they like don't make any sense and they're wrong but like,
has to be relevant, has to be useful and has to be interesting. You won't go wrong if you set
aside some time and hang out with those english materials and follow the people that you like.
Eventually you'll get there. It might just take a little bit longer but you'll get there.
Now, I hope that you've gotten some great insights with today's lesson!
Why not put something new that you learned to practice by speaking
right now on the RealLife App? Remember that you can also listen to the rest of this interview
with Christina for free on the RealLife App, or wherever you enjoy listening to podcasts!
And now, it's time to go beyond the classroom and live your english! Aww yeah!