Mm.
Welcome to CP Time, the only show that’s for the culture.
Today, we’ll be discussing Black gymnasts.
Simone Biles is only the latest
in a long history of Black gymnasts
making you feel bad for not being able to touch your toes.
Gymnasts like Sid Oglesby,
who in 1964 became the first African American
to win an NCAA title.
His event was the long horse, which I’m sure is impressive,
but, to me, the long horse just looks like somebody put legs
on a Twinkie.
Oglesby got his start when his brother bet him
he couldn’t climb a rope.
And Sid was so determined to prove his brother wrong,
he started training in gymnastics,
which I can relate to.
My brother once told me that I didn’t have the courage
to eat a bug,
so dammit, I ate a whole jar of bugs.
Now I’m addicted to the things.
I’m having the time of my life during cicada season.
But Oglesby wasn’t just a star athlete,
he was also an activist for justice.
As a student, Oglesby demanded that his university
stop competing against schools
that were racially segregated,
which is bold because college gymnasts
don’t usually have a lot of leverage at their school.
Usually, students don’t even know
that their school has gymnasts
until one day they’re flipping through the channels
and they see the dude from biology on ESPN3.
Moving on to our next gymnast: Wendy Hilliard.
In the 1980s, she represented the United States
in international competition for a record nine years.
That’s a long time to be doing gymnastics.
After nine years, your knees are gonna be asking
your elbows to swap.
But Wendy’s trek to the top was paved with discrimination.
In 1983, Wendy was denied a spot on the U.S. team,
and when she asked her coach why, he said,
Which is the worst excuse I’ve ever heard.
It’s gymnastics.
Those people are doing backflips in sequined leotards.
You tell me how you’re supposed to do that and blend in.
Hilliard didn’t give up, though.
She and her mother made phone calls and even sent faxes
to U.S. Gymnastics until they accepted her on the team.
That’s the most righteous use of a fax machine
since that time I faxed my ex-wife those court documents
giving me joint custody of our Tamagotchi.
I wanna be a part of his life, Deborah.
He needs a father.
Up next is the incredible Dominique Dawes,
the first Black American to win an individual Olympic medal
in women’s gymnastics and a dominant gymnast of the 1990s.
Her greatness was even recognized by royalty itself
when the artist Prince put her in the music video
for “Betcha By Golly Wow!”
And if you ask me, that’s a much better award
than any medal.
Who cares about gold
when you can say you were surrounded by purple?
And finally, we come to Gabby Douglas,
a woman who accomplished a ridiculous number of feats
before she was even old enough to get car insurance.
In 2012, Douglas became the first African-American woman
in Olympic history
to become an individual all-around champion.
All-around.
That means everything.
The flipping, twisting, the bars, the beams.
She was doing more in the air than JetBlue.
Douglas went on to win even more golds in the 2016 Olympics,
and even had her face put on a box of Corn Flakes.
I used to see her every time my ex-wife
threw the flakes in the car,
telling me I need to watch out for my cholesterol.
I need to watch out for the Tamagotchi, Deborah!
Well, that’s all the time we have for today.
I’m Roy Wood Jr., and this has been CP Time.
And remember, we’re for the culture.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s still cicada season.
This type of buffet only comes around every 17 years.