- So many women are dealing with life after divorce.
I know because I am one of them
Adjusting to a new life, it is not easy.
It takes almost years to figure out how to navigate it.
And it's a taboo subject.
And here on this show,
we wanna be gentle and we wanna figure things out
and we wanna support each other
and learn from each other's life experiences and wisdom.
And with that,
I wanna introduce Louanna,
who is currently dealing with divorce.
Please take a look.
- Hi Drew, this is Louanna.
I'm going through a really tough divorce situation
right now,
and I know you've been through the same thing.
I've been married for 11 years, separated for three years,
I have three beautiful children,
but I think everything's just in limbo right now.
I mean the pandemic has put a hold
on every single thing that needs to be done.
I'm just,
I'm a single mom and I'm just trying to stay positive.
I'm taking it one day at a time,
counting my blessings each and every day.
But I know that you can help me.
So could we please talk about this?
(audience clapping)
Louanna I would be honored to talk about it.
Hi, how are you?
(audience clapping)
- Hello, hello.
Good morning.
Thank you for having me.
- I'm gonna just start right out of the gate
and say that your smiling eyes and your tone,
tone is a big thing with me,
and it's synonymous with energy.
- [Louanna] Right.
- And your energy is clearly seeking the light here
and wherever it took you to get to where you are,
you are in a place where you are projecting
and radiating strength and light.
So I commend you for the immense amount of work
it must've taken you to get where you are right now.
- It has been a journey, but I'm happy that I'm here now.
I always told myself that there is a light at the end
of the tunnel,
and I just have to feel to heal.
So I was open to feeling any pain, any happiness,
any ups and downs, any joy, whatever I felt that day,
I made sure to feel it at a hundred percent
just so I know that I went through the journey
to get me to where I am right now.
- How long were you married may I ask?
- I was married for 11 years and kind of still right?
'Cause you know, the divorce is still pending.
I'm in limbo.
And so I am still married,
but I was together with my ex for about 11 years.
- And how long has it been since you've been separated?
- About three, about three, maybe going into four
'cause my youngest daughter is four years old.
So yeah, since then.
- And where, divorce papers aside,
where do you feel like you're at in the journey?
Do you still feel like everything is as raw and fresh
as if it was yesterday,
or do you feel like the ship is leaving the dock
a little bit?
The ship has almost left the dock.
I can't say that I'm a hundred percent there,
but I certainly do not feel the same way as I did
a few years back.
So time does heal and I'm happy that I'm here now.
- I'm so glad to hear you say that because everybody
said that to me, time.
I think the way you described it was really good and it, it,
I think what nobody talks about is that it's gonna take
probably a lot more time than you really want it to
or anticipate.
- Yes it does take a little bit longer,
because we are as mothers,
we have that connection with their fathers,
so we can't really say it's out of sight out of mind.
We still have that connection.
We still have to interact with them.
So it does take a little bit longer,
and but as long as it,
you'll get to where you need to go,
then it should be fine.
- I think it takes such a intricately woven art
to navigate divorce with children and how we talk
to those children and how we work with our exes
in front of them or to them.
How are you doing with that part?
- It was difficult in the beginning because my emotions
and my feelings were so strong,
but I had to keep thinking to myself,
especially from advice from family and friends
that keep your children the number one priority.
What is best for them,
and that's what you should do.
Not to say that you have to forget about your feelings,
but just keep them number one.
Make sure what they see is positivity
and that no matter what the differences are,
and we do have differences,
you know co-parenting difficulties
that we have disagreements about a lot of things.
For example, education.
I'm the big believer in sending my kids to Catholic school,
where he isn't.
So there's one disagreement,
but we have to act as adults and he and I have
to be very mature and just kind of do that on the side,
and it's almost like putting up a show.
And my kids are probably too young to even understand
what I'm saying right now,
but you're kind of putting, putting a front,
you know in front of them just to make sure
that they're seeing the positive vibes going on.
- I know that this is so hard,
but I think you're at an amazing place,
a really inspirational place that I'm sure took years
and really hard work to get to.
- Yes, that I could definitely agree too.
And I take a lot of my strength from the women who I know
are with me on this,
'cause I know there are women out there who feel
the same way as I do.
And I know that I have a team backing me up just like you.
I know you're behind me and I'm behind you all the way,
and we support each other.
So I take a lot of my strength from the other women
around me and the other women who I know
are going through the same thing,
(upbeat music)