When I was 4 years old, I started losing my hearing.
A lot of people asked me, 'Are you— you must be terrified to get top surgery.
How do you deal with that?'
But I think it was easier than getting my Cochlear Implants.
For example, a lot of people, once
I associated myself with the term genderqueer, told me to just use
they/them pronouns and I had to dress androgynous.
And I have no idea why it took me so long,
but that's completely valid.
It's a shot that allows you to appear more stereotypically masculine.
I do mine every week.
You know, people should know what their body's gonna go through before testosterone
and top surgery or whatever.
I know a lot of my followers are considering starting testosterone
and also have a fear of needles, which I had a huge fear of needles.
Like, I could not even be around people speaking about it.
And I've gotten so many messages after the first time I did it like,
'Thank you for showing me that. I had no idea what the process was.'
and that's what I also want to show, like, when I inject it, I never flinch
or anything, or, like, make a face because it's really not that painful.
And, like, if anything it's just such a, like— I'm just thinking about how happy
and privileged and lucky and grateful I am to be able to do it.
Every single week, I look forward to it. If I'm feeling especially dysphoric, you know,
it's just, like, the best day out of the week.
What I always do now, because I'm so lucky, is if I get dysphoric,
and that will put my mind at ease a little bit.
Before I would look down and I wouldn't see, you know, what I wanted to see. I would be
up all night. There were nights I, like, just never slept.
My body is very different.
I love it.
I'm able to look in the mirror without, you know, cringing.
I always saw this person when I would look in the mirror before testosterone,
but I never imagined other people would be able to see it, too.
It's just, like, I'm living this dream that I feel like I'll wake up from at any moment,
I'm thankful that I am deaf.
I’m proud to be everything that I am.
All I can do is broadcast all the aspects of who I am
and hope that they care enough to listen to those as well.
I would just never want to be the only face of something,
and I would hope that this just brings so many more
opportunities for other people in the community as well.
I would never want to be just the face of anything.
There's—everything that I am is a spectrum.
I would just like to bring up more people on that spectrum with me.