Our PR firm is called
PubLIZity.
It’s based off our names. You have milk voice.
Shut up, Liz.
I don't wanna say anything too early
because I wanted to be, like, a lady about it.
That's my vibe.
But, like, honestly, the cat’s, like, pretty much out of the bun, and, like...
What.
I'm pregnant.
Your first challenge is sexy fruit eating.
So you better bring your A-game, or you're gonna get an H.
Begin.
OK. Oh, no, no, no, no.
Sanitation department.
Can we say she wasn’t found in a pile of trash?
Fine, if you wanna tell her parents that.
Uh-uh. I’m bad with parents. Hope you’re better with trash.
Let's go.
You must have seen our ad –
Yeah. – Looking for a nanny.
Yes.
Flown here for the, uh, job interview.
You’ve got three boys, and you're looking for a nanny.
Uh-huh. And I’m a nanny, and here I am.
Yeah, we remember. I know. So, I just –
Little did you know
that you would be pranked with too much dinner.
So tell us about yourself.
Um... Well, I’ve been working for 10 years as –
Oh-ho-ho-ho, what is this?
What did you order?
What has been placed in front of you?
What did you do?
So, they – they’re not coming, the children?
Hey. I was wondering, Colette – would you be against
being my partner at the Maple Games tonight?
Of course I will. I’ll see you there.
Oh. Cool.
Pardon me.
Awesome. That's really exciting.
Oop! Pardon me. Pardon.
I guess I’ve got a date. A date with intercourse. [School bell rings]
And a-one and a-two and a-one-two.
♪ Pleep ploop, pleep pleep ploop Pleep, pleep ploop ♪
♪ Pleep ploop, pla-pleep ploop, pleep ♪
♪ Pleep, ploop, pleep ploop, pla pleep ploop pleep ♪
Alright! Now, you’re clearly talented
and you got that X factor,
but unfortunately... OK! ♪ Pleep ploop —
Sorry. Look, I get emotionally involved.
And? My daughter was murdered.
Your daughter is dead? Times two.
My beautiful wife, who I love more
than anything in the world – she was killed two years later.
Jesus.
I lost my sister, too. Murdered?
Yeah. From lung cancer.
And now, the world premiere of Bryan's new music video,
in 4, 3, 2, 1!
♪ Ottawa! Ottawa! I don't wanna go to bed ♪
♪ Ottawa! Ottawa! I Toronto go to bed ♪
So there’s no job, and there’s no children, and —
May I ask you a question? And I don’t – I don’t mean to be rude.
Do you have f**king “Memento” disease?
’Cause every two minutes: “Is there a job? Is there kids?”
There’s no kids. There’s no job.
There’s too much tuna! You’re on a prank show!
Right.
Would you sign a release?
OK! Listen up, everybody. Same rules as last year.
You wanna go out, you tap your tree,
gather your sap, and the first coupling
to bring back one liter of maple syrup wins.
You need tips on tappin’ that sap, eh?
Oh, no. I listened to the rules very intently.
So no thank you, though.
I’m not talking about sap. I’m talking about sex.
-Oh. No, I went to nurse teacher
and I put a squid in my exit. So I’m good to go.
♪ Pleep ploop, pleep ploop ♪ Alright. ♪ Pla-pleep ploop, pleep,
ploop, pla, pleep ploop, pleep ♪
♪ Pleep, ploop, pleep ploop, pla-pleep ploop pleep ♪
Is it over? Is it over? ’Cause I loved it.
♪ Paaaaa, Pleep ploop, pleep pleep ploop, pleep, pleep —
Welcome back to Upper Peninsula State Closed-Circuit TV.
From time to time, we wire guys on the court, refs on the court,
just to hear what’s going on behind the scenes.
Check it out! Hey.
Hey. How are you? How’s it going, man?
Nice to meet you. I’m Jeff.
Yeah. Rodney, man. Rodney, man.
Just washed my hands. Was just in the bathroom.
This is gonna be fun today. Alright. Alright. Get ready.
Alright, ladies. Shake ’em, don't break ’em.
Hold on. Hold on. I’ll take care of it.
Keep it clean.
I usually, uh... I usually do the tip ball.
I’m gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. OK.
I’m out of control, listening to you talking to another man!
Because you’re crying tears, I’m giving you immunity,
and I just decided that right now.
Aw, come on!
I love it when Bobby gets jealous.
Sometimes, having high emotions pays off.
[Crying] Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I gave you immunity.
What else do you want – to get married?
Yesssssss! I wanna get married!
Are you proposing, or what is this?
I don’t know! we’re on a competition show!
[Air horn blowing] And...time.
The father of the baby is a toilet baby,
C-Czar, and, like, I don't care who knows that.
Except for, like, most of the people that I know.
Like, I don't want them to know
because I’m, like, horrified by it and, like, very embarrassed.
Savannah, give me the bucket. [Gagging] I just keep throwing up.
Are you sure that’s not some guy’s...
What? Oh, the stuff? Who can never be sure?
♪ Extraordinary girl ♪
♪ Pleep, ploop, ploop ♪
♪ Bab-bayay... ♪ It’s a pleep ploop. You’re going to London. OK?
You’re going to London. It feels like
Denise has been going for canines when she really deserves a cay-ten.
Well, Denise, hopefully this show
can get you barking up the right tree.
We set up a fun little mingler for Denise
to meet some new friends.
I’ve mostly been with pugs. Hope that doesn't bother you.
Oh no.
Denise is going about this all wrong.
You’re not gay, right? Denise?
I’m open to bisexuals. And Australians.
I can tell by your body language that you’re upset.
I don’t know how to swim.
OK.
It’s just ironic, because I was born into toilet water
and then I couldn’t been –
done – have – be able to go swimming.
I feel stupid and embarrassed, like that time
I took a dookie in my pants. We’ve all been there.
C-Czar, I took a dookie in my pants in first grade.
And they were corduroys. Oh, hello.
Hello. Of course I'm charmed I’m sure, Gil Faizon.
And I’m also at the same time charmed
I’m sure, George St. Geegland.
We’re the hosts of television’s “Too Much Tuna.”
But there’s nothing tuna about joking around.
Over a billion people die of mercury poisoning every year.
...every year.
While you’re peeing, little chunks of tuna fish come out,
then you’ve probably go an issue.
That girl’s dead. This girl’s dead.
That girl’s dead. That girl’s dead.
We already know they’re dead. Yo, we’re having a great time
here at the Bobby Bottleservice
full-service wedding service commercial.
You’ve gotta hire me to handle your wedding.
You better get it right!
It’s like, Bobby's gonna be there to f**kin’
bring it, whether... [Mutters unintelligibly]
You know what? Everyone had a fun time, so I’m happy.
I’d recommend him to anyone.
OK. I say very much with professionalism,
call now via text message,
and I’ll get back to you with a very professional thing.
♪ Pleep ploop, pleep pleep ploop, pleep, pleep ploop, pleep ♪
♪ Ploop, pla-pleep ploop, pleep ♪
♪ Pleep ploop, pleep ploop, pla-pleep ploop pleep ♪
♪ Ploop, baby ♪ Pleep.