Hey, I’m Kyle from The Distilled Man Up next, I’m going share 6 different ways
to politely end a conversation at a party. Stick around.
[Intro Music]
Have you ever been at a party, a get-together
or a function, you're talking to someone for a while, and everything’s going fine,
but then after awhile...you start to feel, well, a little trapped?
It could be that you're talking to someone who really likes the sound of their own voice and
won’t stop jabbering…
Or, maybe you’re trapped with someone who’s an insurance salesman a real estate agent
and they want to talk shop, and you just want to have fun
Or, it could just be that the conversation has run its course, and it’s time to go
your separate ways, but neither of you has made the first move yet.
So you want you to get out of the conversation, but you don’t want to be rude.
Up next, I’m going to share 6 different ways to politely get out of a conversation:
We’ll cover:
The Minimalist The Mingle
The Top Off The Duty Calls
The Book End And the Special Delivery
Number 1, The Minimalist
Some people like the more direct approach to getting out of a conversation kind of treating it like
ripping off a bandaid.
With this approach, you simply wait for a pause in the conversation--and this could be helped by
a momentary distraction like one of you has been offered Hors D’oeuvres or a drink
Or you can simply wait for them to take a breathe. Even if they’re yammering on they're going to
will have to breathe at some point. Or maybe they take a sip of their drink…
And then, you swiftly do 2 things: You smile as genuinely and warmly as possible,
And you say “Well it was really nice talking
to you.” And then you walk off.
Now, this approach can work fine, and technically it’s perfectly polite.
but sometimes if you don’t do it quite right, it can come across as a little bit abrupt.
So some of these upcoming techniques may be a little bit better for you.
Number 2, The Mingle
With this approach, you essentially going to tell them you’re going to go socialize with some other people
at the party. So you might say something like,
“Well it was great talking to you.
Now I’m just going to catch up with some other friends”
Or, “Wow, it was so nice chatting with you!
If you’ll excuse me, I just saw an old friend I need to catch up with…."
Whether it’s a cocktail party or a networking event, the goal is for you to talk to
more than one person--so it’s perfectly acceptable for you to say that you're going to
socialize with someone else.
You can even kind of have fun with it,
Make fun of the fact of you're sort of a glad-handing schmooze...
“Well, if you'll excuse me,
I think I’ll go do a bit more mingling…”
And at a business event in some ways it’s almost easier to use this technique:
You can say something like, “Wow, I’ve really taken up a lot of your time!
We’re here to meet people.
Why don't we split up and go make the rounds…”
Number 3, The Top Off
It’s funny, even if you don’t drink alcohol, at a social gathering people seem to universallly
accept that having a glass in your hand or a bottle of something is a kind
of like a prop
--of course if it has alcohol in it, it can help loosen you up that way as well,
but even if not, just having anything, even like a water bottle, is a bit of a security blanket at a social gathering,
And because people understand that your drink is prop at a party, a funny phenomenon happens:
People really recognize that an empty glass is a situation that needs to be fixed.
This is why the Top Off is such a good technique.
All you have to do is say:
“Oh look at that!
I’ve run dry.
I better go top off my drink.”
Or
“Well it was lovely speaking with you.
I’m going to go refresh my drink now.”
One sort of sneaky trick I heard about is always keep your drink only half full
And that way, it’s a lot easier to use the top-off technique whenever you need it.
Oh, look at that. Excuse me for a second
Number 4, The Duty Calls
With this one, the sky’s the limit in terms of how you can use this.
Because all you're doing is essentially excusing yourself from the conversation because, well,
duty calls.
There's something that you need to do
And that thing needs to be done right now.
So you can just say something like, “Well, if you’ll excuse me I’ve got to [FILL IN THE BLANK].
It was great talking to you.”
What’s interesting about this is studies have shown that simply having ANY reason for doing something
can often make the other person more understanding and less likely to have their feathers ruffled.
So it almost doesn’t matter what you say in that fill-in-the-blank space.
You could say something like, “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I really need to go comb my mustache.
It was nice meeting you.”
This technique can also work very well if you are the host, or are helping the
host, because you can say something like,
“It was so nice catching up with you.
Well if you'll excuse me, I told Kara I would help her set up the dessert table.”
Of course, as you might have already guessed, the “Duty calls” technique does have double meaning.
We all know that the easiest way to get out of a conversation
is to tell someone you have to go to the restroom.
Duty calls?
Duty?
Get it?
Okay…
Number 5, the Bookend.
The book end is probably one of the more civilized ways to end a conversation.
Because what you’re doing is sort of thematically winding down the conversation by referring
back to something that you were talking about originally
or a key point the other person made
This especially works great if the person has given you a tip or some advice.
“Wow, I’ve really enjoyed talking to you.
And thanks so much for that tip about the lawn fertilizer. I'm definitely going to have to give that a try
in my backyard.”
Or “Well, those were some amazing adventures
you had in Thailand--thanks so much for sharing!
My wife and I are definitely going to have to check that out for our next vacation!”
What’s nice about this approach is (1) it gives a very clear sign that you’re winding the
conversation down, and (2) it kind of gives the other person a nice warm fuzzy, since it shows that
you were actually listening to them and kind of validates their experience.
Number 6, The Special Delivery
Now this technique is a little more advanced, because it requires a bit of logistical finesse.
I heard this tip from my friend Rosalinda Randall, an etiquette consultant here in the Bay Area.
With The Special Delivery you're essentially bringing the person you're talking to
over to another group of people.
“Hey why don’t we go say hello to those folks over there.
I have someone I want to introduce you to.”
And you physically take the other person over there.
“Sam, meet so and so. So and so, meet Sam.”
And immediately they start talking.
And when they get into the conversation, that gives you an opportunity to quietly slip away and excuse yourself.
All you really have to say is “Excuse me for a moment.”
Or “I’ll let you guys chat for a minute."
And just extract yourself.
The nice thing about this technique is if it's done well,
rather than the person feeling rejected or like you no longer want to talk to them
instead, they get the benefit of having a new person who can listen to them.
So, the next time you’re at a party or a get together
and you need a way to polite way to get out of a conversation, just remember 6 tips.
Guys, you may have other tips on how to get of conversations politely,
so please leave your comments below. I always love hearing from you.
Thanks again for watching, and I’ll see you soon!