(food sizzling) - This sear, these ridges.
- Oh, looka there.
- This is the highway to the danger zone.
(dramatic upbeat music)
- Oh, A.B.
- You gotta be over 18 to eat this.
What's up, I'm Addison.
- I'm Corey.
- We're chunks, not hunks.
- And today we are making a big-as-possible egg roll.
- We are gonna put everything
that you would have on your college pro game day
into this egg roll right here.
- Big dog style.
Burgers, buffalo chicken, chips, salsa, beer.
We even got,
- This for the healthy boys,
and it's gonna be as big and obnoxious as the two of us are.
(upbeat pop music)
First step, you gotta braise your chicken.
Everybody likes buffalo wings, right?
Get some dark meat chicken.
Bone-in, skin-on, not vegan.
Unadulterated, as it comes,
as the Lord intended.
You can totally use white meat.
You shouldn't though.
Make sure you guys have one clean hand,
otherwise it's gonna be a different type of Super Bowl,
and that's not good for anybody.
- You're gonna take a little bit of our garlic,
- A little salt and pepper,
- A little onion powder,
- And we're just gonna douse it down
with buttermilk and hot sauce.
- Get nuts.
- And if you wanna make it even spicier,
you can always add a little bit of cayenne.
- Pour this right over the top of this.
- Completely cover.
- We're gonna go 280 to 300 for three hours with this.
When you're gonna make these egg rolls,
that needs to be your first step.
Go ahead, get this in the oven.
- Set aside, like, an hour to drink beer in between this,
and then get back to doing whatever you're gonna do
for this ridiculous, ridiculous egg roll.
(aluminum foil crinkling)
- Put it on a big pan before you put it in the oven,
so that if the oil comes out and boils over,
it's not all over your oven and dirty.
- That's from the "I've Set My Kitchen On Fire" chronicles.
- That was only one time, okay?
(upbeat music)
- Top-shelf chicken.
Three hours, and then it's time to crack open a beer.
- Natty me, daddy.
(refrigerator door slams)
- Slam your refrigerator open, too,
that's, like, super-important part of this step.
- Now, you can start your customary hour of drinking
before the big game.
- This is gonna get you in egg-roll-makin' mode.
Clear head, not good egg roll.
(upbeat synthesizer music)
- All right, guys, now to the hamburgers,
which are obviously a major part of this dish.
- Mm-hmm.
- We're gonna do little sliders.
- Just real classic cheeseburger sliders.
- Little garlic powder, onion powder, paprika,
salt pepper, super easy.
This should be something you should definitely
be able to make if you're halfway drunk before the game.
- You're gonna form these into about, I don't know,
maybe an ounce and a half.
- Real small, guys.
Cute little grenades.
- Right here, about an ounce and a half, two ounces.
And I'ma let Addie patty those up for me.
- The trick is don't overwork that meat.
Your hands are hot, you're hot, we're hot,
you guys watching this are super-hot.
Working the meat too much, getting it hot,
the fat gonna run all over the place,
and you want that in your mouth, not in your pan.
- That's our hamburgers; now, we just need to sear 'em off,
toast our buns,
- Eat a couple burgers, have another 13 Nattys,
and uh.
- You're there.
- You just wanna come back through with just a little bit
of salt and pepper.
I typically go a little heavier on salt
just because it gives you a nice sear.
If you go real nuts with pepper,
it can kinda get acrid and bitter if it starts burning.
- These guys are so small, they don't take long to cook,
and they're gonna stay juicy.
- The most important thing with searing,
is you want a really nice but controlled heat.
You don't wanna just crank this up.
Most time when you tell someone, "Get that pan hot,"
they just throw that thing to nine,
and what happens is-- - It's at nine, bro.
- Oh (beep).
Yeah, it's at nine.
You can get it a little bit hotter,
and you want that sizzle.
- Oh, there's no sizzle.
See, that's just dead.
- Yeah.
That's no good, that's not what you ever want.
- Probably should have turned this on, like,
three days ago.
- This is a good time to have yourself a second Natural.
They better call us.
- All right, sizzle mode activated.
Hear that?
That's God calling you home.
- If you don't keep 'em kinda flat, they will balloon up,
and make little chubby boys like us.
- You just wanna make a little rivet;
this little hole is so that they don't balloon up.
- Now, we're gonna butter our other pan
and start toasting our bread.
- Take literally a block of butter,
and you're just gonna start rubbing
this little cute pan here, down.
Like, load it down, don't be afraid.
- And now, we're gonna put down
some nice little sesame seed slider buns.
- I like to keep mine organized, tops and bottoms.
- If you let your drunk cousin do this,
he will definitely put two tops as one burger.
I think being a chef and having a game day,
people expect, like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna go over here
and have duck confit or somethin',
but, like, you come to my house on game day,
you're gonna get Natty Light, burgers, hot dogs.
- See, now you're really getting,
now you're getting it right where you want.
You can see all that little sear, and these ridges.
- Oh, looka there.
- Things flaming up.
- It's gonna be dinner and a show.
Like we're at a hotel in Las Vegas.
- Oh, yeah, I'm like a Benihana chef.
- Y'all's blooper reel is gonna be fantastic.
(sizzling food drowns out speaker)
(upbeat synthesizer music)
- Once you put out the fire,
you're just gonna take some cheese.
You gotta use American.
People are gonna say, "Use whatever you want."
Don't use whatever you want.
Use American cheese.
- Yeah, that's what a hamburger's supposed to be.
- The reload.
(beer can tab pops)
- These are ready to pull.
- Yeah, buns, buns are--
- Show me them buns. - Buns are bunning up.
- Oooo.
- Look at that toast.
- Reminds me of, like, syrup or, like, something else
that's real brown and good looking or whatever.
- You can totally get crazy right here,
if you're into dill, ranch, and roasted garlic aioli,
- This is super, yeah. - Or whatever they're doin'
in Portland--
- But check this out. - Whatever, that's cool.
- Here's what we're gonna top ours with,
and it's called the top of the bun.
- Yeah.
(upbeat synthesizer music) - So how about that?
- I bet that's so hot.
- Oh, my god, so good.
Next is the easiest part of the recipe,
and it is the dipping sauce.
- Rotel!
- This is like your old-school, your aunt that cannot cook,
the people from your Methodist church.
- If you are from below the Mason-Dixon line at all,
you have had Rotel dip.
- We're gonna take this weird block of quasi-cheese
and half a can of this Rotel diced tomato and peppers.
- And you are clear, on the runway.
- And we're just gonna cover that, set it on low.
- And just literally hope you don't get so drunk
that you forget about it and burn it.
- If you feel like you're too drunk to make that recipe
that we just did, stop cooking.
- Or don't stop cooking; I believe in you.
- Oh, yeah.
- It's chicken time.
Let's pull that bird out.
- Basically just use your super-gigantic muscles
and move this over.
- You got this nice, roasty chicken
that is magically grown back together inside of the pan.
Understand this.
Take your special edition jersey off
because you're gonna get grease
all over yourself doing this.
- Just go shirtless.
- You don't want the chicken skin in it
'cause it ends up being chewy.
- Check this out.
- So,
- Oo.
- It's time to pull the bird.
It's gonna be hot, guys, but you've had enough Nattys
to where you can't feel that much anymore.
- You know, if you're really chefy,
you can brine it the night before,
make it a little bit juicier.
Brinin' is just putting it in a little bit
of salt water over night.
- Weird flex, but okay.
- So if you look into this, it's gonna look really crazy,
but it's gonna have all this creamy, dreamy
hot chicken oil in it.
- That's our special tool that'll help us later.
- All right, I'm gonna give this
just a nice little rough chop here,
make sure it's kinda broken up.
Pinch of salt and pepper. - We're gonna, yeah,
we're gonna give that a little season.
Oh, he's doing real, real fancy on the cutting board,
like, you know. - Look at that.
- You gotta be over 18 to eat this.
- You don't even need to make the egg roll at this point.
You just eat this. - Man, watch out.
I'm finna, I'm finna see somethin'.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm!
(upbeat synthesizer music)
(hands smacking counter top)
Egg roll time.
- It is going to be enormous.
I'm gonna use eight
of your just store-bought egg roll wrappers here.
And the cool thing about these wrappers is that
if anyone is just at your party
and they're like, "Dude, I'm vegan,"
you can just give them one of these damn wraps, like,
here you go. - Just let them eat that raw.
You got to engineer this yourself.
- This is like you gotta prove yourself worthy
of eating this egg roll. - Now, some people might say
egg wash, but for me the water works just as fine,
it's a lot less messy.
So I'ma use 12 wraps here.
This is going to be the blanket
that holds the calorie baby.
- And what's happening is that water is kinda mixin'
with the starch and the egg rolls, wrappers,
and it is kinda making a pasty glue.
- Now, insider little chefy trick,
If you just have ample time, or you need to like,
go run to the liquor store to re-up, set it on a sheet tray,
if you have one big enough,
or just go to a lumber yard
and find a big piece of sheet metal, sit it on there,
let it set, you know you can hold it in your refrigerator.
Let it kinda tighten. - We got a problem.
(dramatic boom)
It's not big enough.
(dramatic music)
I think we need to go 16 wraps to make it the right size.
- Let's go!
(intriguing synthesizer music)
All right, all right, all right, all right.
Now we gotta start layering.
So first layer.
Get this nice, creamy, french onion dip,
one of those good old southern staples.
Then we're just gonna crunch up some chips.
You gotta have the chips and dip.
It's nacho 30 in the Rio Grande.
Here we're just using some iceberg
to give you some of that nacho-taco-salad-type energy.
Next, maybe some salsa.
Just a bit.
Now, she's big, she can only hold so much.
You put too much wet stuff in here, it's going to explode.
- It's probably gonna explode anyway,
but it's gonna explode.
Nachos down, and then some nacho cheese.
- If you're into healthy, you gotta stop right here,
'cause that was it.
Where we're going now, all bets off.
- Next, we're just gonna break these bad boys up, and just,
- Smash your hamburgers. - And just stuff
these bad boys in there.
Stuff it right there. - Aww!
Oh, yeah, that's good, that's good right there.
A little bit of the shredded chicken.
I'm Oily Hands McGee over here.
- Mozzarella sticks, this is gonna add a nice, creamy bite.
Everybody likes cheese, right?
- Load it down.
- Look, more cheese.
- We're loaded up.
Cheese sticks, sliders, lettuce--
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You cannot have a southern event without ranch.
And this is just imported, like, I got this from a guy,
don't ask, just a little oomph.
- All right, so now it's time to roll it.
- Roll this thing.
- This might not even be possible.
(upbeat pop music) - Oooo.
Oh, my God.
- And here we see the tater rolling somethin' big
he ain't got no business messing with.
- The dangerous part of it
is getting the roll exactly right.
- This is the highway to the danger zone, right here.
- If you break it, just get more egg roll wraps.
- We're just gonna start rolling and try to get,
he's barely,
he's there, he's there. - Oh, Jesus.
- She's thick, she's loaded. - Oh, my gosh.
- If we can fry this thing, it'll be a miracle.
- We're gonna name it June.
- We got a little bit of a problem here.
- We got a flavor hemorrhage.
- We're gonna make a little band-aid for this guy.
- See that little patchwork, yeah.
- It's like a family photo.
- It's a boy.
(water running)
- I mean this,
this is the stuff dreams are made of, right here.
- We're in the moment now, we're in the crux.
It it falls apart now, you just pour a shot of whiskey
and make soup out of it.
- I mean let's be honest, this is crazy.
Like this is just crazy.
Like I know that there's so many other,
- People are gonna leave the party being like,
"They had ten-pound egg rolls."
Like, I don't even know the engineering
behind flipping this.
Like, we need a crane.
- Like I feel like I have to solve
y equals m x plus b or somethin' for this.
Like you gotta--
- Yes! - Oh, my God (laughing).
- Let's go, let's go.
- So maybe what we'll have to do here is kinda like,
- Since we're chefs, we're gonna baste it with oil.
Look at that color,
like you're getting that nice, shiny, takeout,
I'm-drunk-put-grease-in-my-body brown,
as I like to call it.
- Keep it movin' around in here a little bit.
- Have you a drink in between.
- So that the grease kinda gets under it
and cooks the bottom of it as well.
- Rock the boat; R.I.P. Aaliyah.
- That's, uh, I don't (laughs), I don't even--
- All you can do, the biggest step right now
is to just literally stand here and admire this egg roll
for what it is.
- If we can get it there from here to there,
I'll be very proud.
- Two brothers, two swords.
- (laughing) Oh, yeah.
And so it's important you have a resting rack
right here to let some of that excess oil drain.
This is also a fine time,
if you're one of those people,
who needs to pat their,
their wrapper down. - Their oil off,
I always like to dip it in more oil.
- Yeah, I'm actually gonna let this cool down
and use it as a pan sauce.
- So we got this thing fried.
- I mean this thing weighs more than ten pounds.
- If you're worried about health issues,
you can totally use this as like a thing to curl with.
This thing is just absolutely unreal.
- Oh-ho, hot landing, bruh.
- That is just dumb.
- This is a bruh moment,
brought to you by Bruh Incorporated.
You guys wanna see us cut this thing open?
- All right guys, we got the egg roll completely done.
Addison's out here trying to cut it with a cleaver.
This seems awesome.
And after 14 Nattys it probably is.
- Fifteen.
- This is not gonna work.
Gotta use a serrated knife, or it's gonna explode.
- There's gonna be nacho cheese wallpaper at your house.
- Now, if you're serving 12 people,
you can cut this thing like cake.
I'm just gonna cut it right down the middle
'cause me and Addison are just gonna split this one.
- Oh-ho-ho-ho (laughing).
- Oh, baby.
- Y'all, y'all.
- God. (Corey laughs)
Now the question is, "Can you eat it?"
(Corey laughs)
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my God.
So good. - Mm-hmm.
- Goddamn that's hot.
- All right, I'm gonna face the grassy field.
- Man, that's so fat!
(Corey laughs)
- Oh my god.
The buffalo chicken hittin' just right.
I'm instantly sleepy.
- I'm gonna eat the whole thing.
- Follow us, like, subscribe, chunks_eats on Instagram.
I can't even talk.
- He's out, I'm out.
Peace.
- I love y'all.
- Uh, we got so frickin excited about the egg roll
that we didn't even get the dip.
- Dump it.
- Oh, yeah. - I'm dumping it.
- Oh, yeah.
(pan clanking)
- Mmmm.
(Corey laughs)