The advocate, the counselor. The mediator, the protector.. whatever you want to call the INFJ,
it’s quite obvious that they have a natural tendency and life mission to aid others.
Whether it’s in their close relationships, or just strangers on the street,
INFJs will jump to the rescue no matter how sticky the situation gets. Yet, why is it that
they gravitate to people who need help? Welcome or welcome back PSYCH-Os! Today
we’re going to be talking about why the INFJ actually attracts the so-called ‘broken’ people
into their lives. Before we get into it, we’d love it if you liked and subscribe to our channel,
as well as to click the post notification bell so you never miss a video!
Number 1: They’re naturally wired to help others
Like we just mentioned, INFJs are known for their empathic tendencies.
In fact, sometimes it feels like they don’t have a choice in times when it would probably
be in their best interest to step away from the situation. This is not only a tendency
but an obligation and it all has to do with their dominant functions.
With ‘introverted intuition’ allowing them to easily sense the emotions of others,
their secondary function ‘extroverted feeling’ results in a deep concern in the energy,
moods and feeling of others. This combination of functions naturally gives the INFJ the ability to
form deep insights into people's situations making it extremely difficult to walk away, even in toxic
situations. It also gives the INFJ the title of being one of the more extroverted introverts.
Number 2: They can’t help but to feel another’s pain
Let’s elaborate a little more on this extroverted feeling function.
Extroverted feeling not only makes it so that INFJs can truly sense the feelings of others, but
this empath type actually absorbs those feelings as their own. In fact, since INFJs have difficulty
actually feeling their own feelings it makes having the ability to sense the emotions of others
a little dangerous. Sometimes this personality type can’t differentiate which feelings are
really theirs or not, and so it feels at times like in order to help themselves they need to
help the person whose feelings they’re feeling. Not only does this make their empathetic gifts
feel seriously overwhelming at times, it’s as if it energetically draws in people who most need
the help. Unfortunately sometimes this is where people with attention-seeking behavior feel they
can get their fill, leading to unhealthy dynamics. Number 3: They actually enjoy being co-depended on
Speaking of co-dependent dynamics, codependency is defined as a circular relationship in which one
person needs the other person, who in turn, needs to be needed. INFJs need to be needed. No matter
how independent they may be, they don’t quite feel satisfaction from many other things in life
aside from helping others. And so, being depended on by someone who needs or wants the support
can give the INFJ a sense of meaning and reward in life. It’s as if they need to be
of service to someone in order to feel good and so being dependent gives a sense of satisfaction.
Whether it’s considered a curse of self-sacrifice or a gift of empathy,
this codependency makes it seriously difficult for the INFJ to create and
maintain boundaries in these relationships, especially when it comes to romance.
Later in life INFJs begin to turn that need to give to others and apply it to their own needs,
no longer feeling tied to solving others problems as a means of feeling better about themselves.
Number 4: They need an outlet for their insights
It’s only when you get into a deep conversation with the INFJ personality type that you begin
to see the deep insights and philosophical views about life. And if people were more open to it,
INFJs would probably feel a little more comfortable sharing these insights more
often. In fact, not only do they crave to figure out people’s puzzled minds,
INFJs also love to broaden their awareness on the issues they’re facing,
providing different perspectives that allow the individual to better understand their situation.
With the underlying belief that everything happens for a reason, the INFJ can instantly
think of metaphors, examples, and past experiences that allow for people to really resonate with
their advice and insights. Plus, being let in on someone’s issues provides lessons that you can’t
find in books or movies, the real life lessons that INFJs love collecting for future reference.
Number 5: They can easily fall for love bombing
INFJs like to think that they can scope a narcissist in the matter of minutes,
however, when love bombing comes in to play they can be absolutely blindsided.
This is when INFJs get tangled in connections where they believe they’ve finally met someone
that can care for them the way they feel they care for others, and that maybe for once they
can feel like the give and take is equal. It’s like they for once feel the affection, adoration,
and attention they may not be getting elsewhere. When INFJs seek the ultimate relationship,
their heart is in the right place. They only want what they know deep down they
deserve — a person who respects and honors them as they are. Of course, it’s not every time an
INFJ finally feels like they found someone truly giving that it’s too good to be true,
but sometimes that’s exactly what it is. Despite being stubborn and picky in love,
in the right scenario they can easily get swept off their feet just like the fairytale
expectations convinced them would happen sooner or later. Yet, before they know it, the love bombing
and stable-emotion fades and is replaced with the same old connection that they know all to well.
Number 6: They can see the potential people have
Just as INFJs can see through fake happiness, they can see right through the hard times someone is
going through. They can see the person underneath the pain by putting themselves in other’s shoes.
They see the stress behind the anger, the trauma behind the sadness
and even the insecurity in manipulation. It’s as if, no matter how bad the situation is,
INFJs always ask themselves who they themselves would be if they went through it.
And when you’re able to separate the human from the pain and emotions they’re feeling,
it gets much more difficult to turn someone away. This is especially true once an INFJ has
heard someone's story, which is ultimately one of their favorite things to do. Yet,
seeing someone's spirit and refusing to accept their behaviors can also end up being a seriously
toxic self-inflicted issue that INFJs only really see the repercussions of once they’re invested.
Number 7: They’re drawn to emotional depth
INFJs aren’t interested in materialistic or egotistic people because of the lack of
depth that can easily bore them. When people are living life only on the surface level of things,
INFJs don’t feel as connected with them.
And unfortunately emotionally damaged and wounded people on the other hand usually have experienced
some deep encounters and lessons in life that ultimately broadened their way of thinking.
Sometimes these types of people get their extreme,intriguing, mysterious,
quirky, or obsessive traits from their emotional experiences, and that magnetizes the INFJ as if
they’re in an absolute trance. This is especially true when an INFJ has come from significant
hardships themselves. In fact, sometimes INFJs feel most comfortable with so-called emotionally
wounded people because they feel like a safe space to possibly share their own traumas with.
Number 8: People feel compelled to be emotionally vulnerable around them
Whether it’s rooted in their empathetic nature or their deep advice, INFJs have a
natural aura about them that makes them feel more comfortable sharing their hardships.
For example it’s not rare for a stranger to express their life story to an INFJ in the
matter of minutes of getting to know one another or confide in them for some deep life advice.
It’s as if INFJs set people at ease, allowing them to feel comfortable enough to let their guard down
knowing they won’t be met with judgment. In fact, sometimes it’s the slight socially awkward yet
caring vibe they give off that makes people feel like they’ll be a safe space for their
emotional inner banter. And then once they’re met with the INFJs deeply insightful advice and
metaphorical ways of thinking, it can be difficult to peel away. Because of this, INFJs can end up
feeling personally responsible for these people’s outcomes without even knowing them as a person.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today.. So, if you’re an INFJ, let us know in the comments below
if you think you have a habit of attracting emotionally damaged people in your life.
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