♪ Saturday Supercut ♪
(whooshing)
- First day of school, nya nya nya nya!
Whoa, what class is this?
- Oh.
Hi!
- Whoa, who the heck are you?
- Welcome to Baldi's Basics.
- Yo whatchu talkin bout?
- What?
- You're making fun of my lack of hair and calling me basic?
Woohoo you gon' get it!
- No no no no.
My name is Baldi.
And this class is called Baldi's Basics.
- Oh okay.
I'll let it go this time.
But only because we have the same hairstyle.
(laughs maniacally)
(groaning)
Now come on, that was hair-larious.
(laughs maniacally)
(groaning)
- Okay that's enough.
- Hey Professor Baldi guy.
- Just Baldi is fine.
- Hey!
Hey Baldi Beanbutt.
- Colder, definitely colder!
- Hey Baldi Bartlefarts McDooglebooty.
- Holy Moley!
What is wrong with you?
- You're so bald, I bet if you took a shower,
you'd get brainwashed!
(laughs maniacally)
- Ha, very funny.
- You look like Vin Diesel and Mr. Clean had a baby.
(laughs maniacally)
- Okay, that's not nice Or-
- Hey I'm just saying you really know you're bald
when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
(laughs maniacally)
- That's enough!
- Ugh!
- Orange!
This is my classroom and you will listen to me!
- Okay fine.
- Now it's time for everybody's favorite subject,
- Pantsless karaoke?
- No!
- Cooking with bowling balls?
- Those are not school subjects!
- Polar bear pillow fighting?
- No!
Math!
Everyone's favorite subject is Math.
- Said no one ever!
(laughs maniacally)
- Now, I'm going to give you three questions.
- Can they be questions about kazoos?
I'm really good at questions about kazoos.
(yelling)
Now the questions will be on this handy dandy Thinkpad.
Here you go.
- Cool!
It looks like Big Bird crapped on a Speak and Spell.
(laughs maniacally)
- Argh.
Now problem one,
seven plus nine equals.
- What?
Seven and nine can't be in Math problem together!
- What?
Why not?
- Because seven ate nine.
(laughs maniacally)
(yelling)
Hmm, carry the five, move the decimal over three places,
divide by a hamster ball.
(yells)
- Did you just say, "Divide by a hamster ball"?
- Yeah, that's the step that comes before multiplying it
by Justin Bieber's nipple, right?
(laughs maniacally)
- (grunts) Okay.
If you're having trouble with the problem,
think of it this way!
If you had seven kazoos,
and I gave you nine more kazoos,
how many kazoos would you have?
- Honestly, I still wouldn't have enough kazoos.
- (grunts) No!
- I'd probably have to steal Pear's credit card
and buy at least a bajillion more from Kazoos R' Us.
- This isn't a philosophical question about how many kazoos
are enough to make you happy.
- Of course.
If you gave me nine kazoos that were magic kazoos,
that had wish granting genies inside of them,
that would be a different story altogether.
- Orange, you're getting off track and-
- Instead I'd wish for a kazoo cloning machine.
Then I'd never run out of kazoos.
Like ever!
- Orange!
Seven plus nine!
- Sheesh.
Okay!
Sixteen.
The answer is sixteen.
- Fantastic!
You're doing great!
- Hey, thanks!
Now, back to the kazoos.
- Problem two!
Five minus three equals.
- I'm bored of Math.
Does this thing play Fortnite?
- No!
- Hey, why hasn't anybody made a game called Fartnite?
Now that would be a real gas (farting)
(maniacally laughing)
- Orange!
- Okay, okay.
Two!
As in you can't have toot without two. (farting)
- Good job!
You did great!
- Thanks!
I'm pretty skilled at farting. (farting)
- That's enough farting!
(laughs maniacally)
Now Orange, it's time for problem three.
- Pollen tree?
- Problem three!
- Goblin knee?
- Problem three!
- You gotta pee?
Gross, dude TMI.
(laughs maniacally)
- (yelling) I've had it with you!
Here's your problem three!
(electric buzzing)
- Umm, I think your boring machine is broken.
- Oh it's not broken, you have to answer it.
Just like that and remember,
I get angrier every problem you get wrong.
(crashing)
- Work you stupid machine!
Make more sense.
- Hey!
Stop that!
- Nah, I'm gonna keep doing it.
(yelling)
- Hey!
- Play Fortnite you Big Bird turd!
- (grunting) Gimme that!
- Hey!
I was breaking that!
- Well I am done teaching Math!
Now it's time to teach you a new lesson!
You!
You're the most irritating pile of pulp ever!
If being annoying was an Olympic sport,
you'd win!
- First prize?
- Yes!
You'd win first prize.
Now, time for that lesson.
- No!
First prize!
- What?
(robot whirring)
(yelling)
- Whoa!
Baldi sure is a pushover!
(laughs maniacally)
Uh.
(robot whirring)
(blades slicing)
- [Narrator] Hey Orange!
Baldi is in the kitchen!
- Huh? (screaming)
- Hello Orange!
- (stuttering) What are you doing here?
- I have come to answer questions in a humorous manner.
Would that be acceptable to you?
- Oh, you just wanna answer some of the questions?
Hm, sure that would actually rule!
(laughs maniacally)
- Was that a joke about my ruler?
- Um, yeah!
- (chuckles) Very humorous!
Bring on the next question.
- [Narrator] Waaaaaaaazzzzzzzuuuuuupp?
- I do not understand.
There was no question involved
and that was not a word I recognize from any dictionary.
- Oh, it's just a fun thing we do
with the audience sometimes to-
- Next question!
- [Narrator] Is Marshmallow a boy or a girl?
- Again, I do not understand this so called question!
Who is this marshmallow?
And how on Earth does no one know their gender?
- Oh, see no one's ever been able
to get Marshmallow to reveal which-
- Why can you not get this individual
to give you a straight answer?
How is this possible?
It would seem this kitchen is lacking in discipline!
Next question!
- [Narrator] Ice scream and fishseption is back!
- Now what on Earth does-
(explosion)
(yelling)
Oh heavens!
- Blaaah!
- That's it, I am leaving!
I am confused and bewildered by what I am seeing here!
- Aw, are you not having fun?
- I most certainly am not!
I was hoping there would be more Math!
Goodblaaahh!
- [Narrator] Is that Baldi right behind you
or just a stack of TNT?
- Aw man, is it Baldi or TNT, Orange?
- Uh, I dunno.
It's super hard to tell.
Could be a stack of TNT,
or it could be Baldi!
(crashing)
- Blaaahh!
(yelling)
(exploding)
- [Narrator] Baldi has a question for you.
- Oh great.
Here comes a Math question.
I can't imagine a worse question
than a Math question right now.
- Does Orange have a crush on Passion Fruit?
- Uh, I stand corrected.
- Answer the question Orange.
- No!
- Answer the question Orange.
- Never!
- Then you must be disciplined!
(yelling)
(blades slicing)
- What up fruity toots?
I'm Orange, this is Pear,
and we're coming atcha with a new challenge
I can't wait to try!
The Baldi's Basics Challenge.
What could it be?
I have no idea!
But I bet it's scary!
Let's do this thing!
Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, bring it!
- Aren't you supposed to be doing
your Math homework right now?
- Yeah, but its okay.
I've decided I'm gonna be a professional video game player.
So really, I am doing my homework.
(laugh maniacally)
- (sighs) Whatever you say dude.
- So gimme the downlow.
How does the Baldi's Basics Challenge work?
I wanna know.
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me!
- Okay, okay calm down.
I have it all set up.
- Wow!
It looks just like the one from the game!
- Go ahead, use it!
- Oh hi!
(laughs manically)
- Whoa, even that just gave me chills.
- Now it's time for everybody's favorite subject.
Math!
Problem one.
(ding)
You got it!
Problem two.
(ding)
That's right!
Problem three.
(ding)
You're doing fantastic!
Problem four.
- I don't remember there being a fourth question.
(ding)
- You're doing fantastic!
Five.
(ding)
You're doing fan-
Six.
- A little longer than I remember.
(ding)
- You're doing fan-
Seven.
- Yeah super long, - Eight
but also super fun. Woohoo! - Nine.
- This is so much better than doing homework.
(ding)
- You did great!
Come here and get your prize.
- (laughing) Yes!
Oh I wonder what it is.
Oh I'm so excited!
(crashing)
(record scratching)
- Orange?
- It's my homework.
- (laughing) I got you so good!
- The Baldi's Basics Challenge is just doing your homework?
You tricked me into doing my Math worksheet.
- And you fell for it too!
You even said it was super fun!
- Ah I didn't mean it!
I thought I was doing video game homework.
Not real life homework.
(crying)
Oh no!
This isn't gonna affect my ability to become
a professional video game player someday is it?
(crying) I gotta undo it!
I gotta do my homework wrong!
(belching)
(electronic beeping)
Okay.
Whew, I got em all wrong.
That's better.
(stick whacking)
What was that?
- What was what?
(stick whacking)
- That!
What was that whapping sound?
- I don't hear anything.
(stick whacking)
- It's, it's, it's getting closer!
- Huh,
maybe you should try doing more
of your homework questions.
(stick whacking)
- (yelps) Good idea!
Gimme my backpack stat!
(whooshing)
(frantically yelping)
Okay that's History!
(frantically yelping)
And that's Social Studies!
(frantically yelping)
Okay okay!
That's all my English homework!
I'm all done!
All done, all done, all done, all done, all done!
I'm gonna grow up and go to college
and I'm not gonna become a professional video game player!
I promise!
(screaming)
(stick whacking)
- (laughing)
- Hey Pear, about that yardstick you gave me earlier.
- Grapefruit!
The plan worked perfectly!
Orange did all of his homework,
and I think he's even college bound!
Your yardstick whapping sound exactly like Baldi's.
- Oh I actually broke that yardstick immediately.
- What?
- Yeah I tried to pole vault the toaster
and totally got smoked.
Here ya go.
Sorry I never got the chance
to do that whapping stuff you wanted.
- Huh?
But if it wasn't you that was whapping,
then who-
(screaming)
(blades slicing)
(upbeat electronic music)