Oh what's notice I got in a wreck
because I was admiring the shoulder
Hickey that Brett gave me and got
t-boned by a parked car Brett came over
to comfort me and I'm so obsessed with
him his face smells like sea breeze and
his hair is so long that when I make out
with him I pretend it's a scarf PS I
might be pregnant
that is juicy read yours okay I
changed the grit on my rock tumbler
today the amethyst is really shaping up
I'm gonna mount it in a bolo tie for
Dylan he got a new neck brace to stretch
his melting vertebrae
he loved his birthday card especially
how I burnt the edges of the scroll PS
crafting heals last night at the party I
danced so hard my bra was soaking wet
Jeff and I were flirting and then he
said let me show you something so we
went to my room and guess what he showed
me a ween that is still wearing its hat
you should have had sex there having sex
in your childhood bedroom is a rite of
passage
you chose the party mom role to protect
yourself from fun I was not afraid of
fun here check this out happy birthday
to me my party was amazing I got what I
asked for I am now a sponsor of a child
in Ecuador I was the designated driver
because I could tell no one else wanted
to be my favorite birthday gift was
knowing everyone got home safe last
night was so fun I can't even talk about
it there are no period words period man
talk about it I took my deaf friend at
the Sheila E concert so she could really
feel the music she was so grateful I
didn't smoke pot because I was afraid
there wasn't enough for everyone oh come
on
clora days well clearly we have
different experiences oh here's a
play-by-play of the Jerry Lewis telethon
here's a chart of all the penises I ever
saw
oh good here's a quote from Helen Keller
here's really incorrect information
about how to put a IUD here's a list of
my houseplants put in my pipe yeah