Neon Jellyfish EevangéLion
is one of the most iconic anime in the history of the media.
Since originally airing on TVs had an enormous amount of re-releases
on laserdisc, VHS, DVD,
Blu-ray, Game Boy Advance,
and some select Japanese washing machines,
I'm pretty sure there's an embedded copy on the Voyager spacecraft for aliens to discover
and yet somehow copies were so hard to find it
across the total of your entire life savings when you first unborn child to purchase
But after all these years Netflix have answered our prayers
and made it available to the mass public worldwide.
And for the first time a new generation of people will finally get to experience
the desolation of the Virgin Thanos Snap
versus the Chad Third Impact.
And I'm glad to say they finally pulled through this time
and given us the adaptation we were waiting for!
For decades, countless critics and fans have meticulously analyzed every frame,
every piece of dialogue,
peeling back the layers to uncover what visionary director
Hayao Miyazaki was trying to say.
And it's here over 20 years later that
we still have no fuckin' clue.
As the titular Kaiju, Mecha,
Slice of Life, Drama, Idol Dance-Off,
Horse-racing, Gangster, Open-World Third-Person Shooter Action game,
it's a title that's left its mark on history.
If you are one of the few people who still have no idea what EevangéLion is all about,
even up all these years, here's a really quick plot synopsis:
"He's run away..."
"I'm not surprised..."
That was it.
Now Netflix have made a reputation for tinkering with classic franchises
to make the fact and there is no exception here.
During this release the decision was made to completely redub the entire thing
in an utterly confusing move, as everyone knows the original dub was a flawless
rendition already perfect for mainstream consumption.
"HEY, WAIT!"
"Don't hold back!"
And to add to the confusion even further, they'll replace the original cast
and hire some no-name voice actors to do this dub.
They didn't even get Keanu Reeves to voice Shinji, which would have been the perfect casting.
Come on, Netflix get it together!
You can spend a hundred million dollars licensing Friends,
but you can't even get my boy Keanu?
Man, if you're gonna disappoint me like this,
at least get Danny DeVito for Gendo.
Along with this legacy, it also has the most popular anime opening of all time,
"Cruel Angel Thesis", that has been covered by bands and artists all over the world,
including "The Glory Gospel", "LMFAO",
and, my personal favorite,
a calculator.
Why wouldn't Netflix have offered a skip intro button?
This comes later, it is actually a covert sting operation,
as skipping Cruel Angels Thesis was declared as a war crime by the UN in 1999.
So far a total of seven people have been detained,
where as per legislation they are publicly shamed,
forced to watch 200 hours of the Lucky Star opening, and sentenced to be destroyed.
Of course, it wouldn't be Evangelion without controversy
and this time there has been plenty around the retranslation of some lines.
The biggest one revolving around Kaworu and Shinji's relationship.
Now, in the original translation Kaworu clearly states:
"It means, I love you"
referring to his romantic feelings towards Shinji
as it is clear the relationship they share is homosexual.
Now, in the Netflix version this line is changed to:
"It means,
I want to suck your bitch penis and ride you like the little whore you are until the Sun comes up and we'd make little gay babies if we're actually biologically possible for two males who impregnate each other.
No homo."
And it's pretty clear why people are mad.
Because, if you studied the subtext, you'd understand
that by putting "No Homo" at the end, it implies
what he's saying is not gay
and that's illegal in 2019.
While I understand why a lot of people are mad about that
in the franchise where every line is picked apart and I sect it,
there was always going to be something to set people off.
So I think we should appreciate all the good translation work
they've done because, you know, we've still got classic scenes like this:
And this:
And you can see they really kept the subtlety and nuance for the dialogue translation here,
so I think they really deserve credit where credit's due.
And let's not forget this scene as well:
isn't there a more classic scene in Evangelion?
You got one job, it's one word
Absolutely impossible to fuck tha-
ARE YOU FUCKIN' KIDD-?
"Did you do it?"
"Yes"
"What did it cost?"
* "Fly Me To The Moon" *
You know, like everyone
I am offended that they didn't get the rights to "Fly Me To The Moon" for the ending
which completely changes the experience
And almost makes the entire series unwatchable,
but what's even more offensive is what they chose to replace it
*high pitched "Friends" *
There just took an episode of Friends and Nightcore it.
Admittedly, one thing I'm looking forward to
is seeing the revival of the 20 year old Best-Girl War, which never actually ended.
Asuka, Rei,
these girls set the stage for our modern wife view landscape and,
whatever your opinion, deserves respect.
If you've watched my Waifu Tier List video,
you should have an idea about who I think comes out on top
But I did miss out one massive candidate.
The one who will never betray you and will always stay by your side,
who's been lurking in the shadows this entire time.
That's right! Sitting above everyone in SS+ tier,
Right Hand-kun.
EevangéLion is the classics of classic that has affected
the medium of anime in a way no other show has.
If you haven't seen it yet, there is absolutely no excuse now.
Watching EevangéLion on Netflix isn't just watching an anime,
it's watching part of history.
One that influenced the whole generation of fans and today,
over 20 years later, still remains the greatest anime adaptation of
"Pacific Rim" that's ever been made.
* Otamatone's "Fly Me To The Moon" *