PAUL: Bullying can happen to anyone, but when it's happening to you, sometimes it can feel
like it's never gonna end. However, the good news is, it usually does. That doesn't mean
when bullying's over though, that you don't still feel the after effects, and it doesn't
still hurt. So, Dina, what do you think are some of those after-effects of bullying?
DINA: I mean, you could start feeling more anxious about the smallest of things, just
everyday life, you could have very low self esteem, find it difficult, find it very difficult
to talk to people, make new friends. The smallest of things can become the biggest trial for
you, something that you might think is absolutely minute, but for me, just like answering the
phone was incredibly not gonna happen that day.Y'know what I mean?
Paul: Yeah, so that goes to show that even though people might say oh what's wrong, you're
not being bullied anymore, it's fine now, that doesn't mean there aren't these things
that still you don't forget that experience for a while, you know, it stays with you
DINA: Yeah I think you know for anyone who's being bullied, they'll all agree that it definitely
affects them even years later, even if they seem confident at the time, there is something
that person is dealing with that nobody knows about. Like for example not being able to
answer the phone! But it might be because you have a fear of talking to somebody new,
and it's just via a phone rather than face to face, you know, or rather than to a camera
even.
PAUL: Yeah. Absolutely
DINA: Like for example, you might not be getting, let's say, physically bullied, but you could
be getting verbally bullied, and well for me, that's what most of my highschool life
was. And at the time, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but when you think back to waking
up every morning, how you felt to be going to school that day - overall I felt OK to
go to school. But there'd be this one lesson, where that bully was, that I'm completely
dreading, and it's ruining my whole day because I've gotta go to this lesson, because of that
bully, who'll just make two of three comments. They last 10 seconds, but it ruins your whole
day, you know? and if that goes on for years and years, it can affect you, it really does
knock you down.And forget even knocking you down, it ruins your day, and that's just unfair
you know.
PAUL: So when that bullying was happening to you, how did you deal with it?
DINA: What I used to do, was you know, I'd get, they'd try and push my buttons with words.
Maybe a bit of shoving around, but never actually getting too physical, but if you, for me anyway,
I would try and reply with like a sarcastic answer, maybe make 'em feel a bit stupid.
Make em a little bit like, oh you really are childish aren't you, like for what you're
doing. Then they'll either back down, or it could get worse. If it gets worse, that's
when you need to talk to an adult like a teacher, or somebody at home that you trust. Somebody
that is 100% gonna help you out, and you are 100% comfortable in telling.
PAUL: You mentioned using a bit of sarcasm, or telling it how it was to the bully. I mean
that's one way I think you can deal with some of that sort of abuse, is try
DINA: especially if you're getting abuse online. Y'know, I get lots of abuse online, being
a YouTuber obviously, and I've read hate comments before, and, it is a hilarious video. When
you do that. And then so all of a sudden you've got this community as well that's laughing
at this comment, which is essentially a bully, behind the scenes, like that on the keyboard,
and then all of a sudden it doesn't matter anymore because everybody is just laughing
at how funny it is, right?
PAUL: If you're still struggling to build up your self-esteem, after bullying, what
other things can you do do you think to make things better?
DINA: I think it's important to indulge yourself in something that you really enjoy, you know,
if you're a creative person, like I dunno, let's say you;re really into makeup - makeup
is a form of art if you ask me - then get stuck into it! Keep yourself busy. Don't give
yourself time to sit there and dwell. The people that caused that, shouldn't matter
to you.They're not important enough to rule the rest of your life, you know what I mean?
Paul: But sometimes bullying can be so severe that can really have a very deep impact on
a person.
DINA: I mean, I think if the bullying that you've experienced really has a lasting affect
on you, and it's really effecting how you live your life now, as well as the people
around you, then that's when you've got to you know, make that decision to seek professional
help, so take a visit to your GP, try and get some therapy,
PAUL: And if you're not happy with the first doctor you go to see, you can always request
to see another doctor DINA: Talk to another one!
Definitely, yeah.
PAUL: So, obviously, if you're affected by bullying, sometimes you get the feeling that
you might want to help others who experience bullying, and that can be a really good way
of dealing with those after-effects, because you're channeling all that negativity into
something really positive. And then there's things like anti-bullying week where everyone's
able to shout about it. and it's a really good thing to be involved with as well.
DINA: Yeah.
Paul: What would you think is a good idea if you wanted to help other people who are
being bullied?
DINA: I think you know, there's probably a lot of projects going on in your community,
community centers, in your school, where you can get involved. And I think that you'll
find if you do get stuck into helping people, that have been through something you have,
it's again another form of therapy for you, because you've turned something negative into
a positive by helping everybody, and then hopefully we wanna stop bullying, right?
PAUL: We do!
DINA: So the more people that get involved, in things like anti bullying week, the more
we're gonna combat it, right?
PAUL: yeah, absolutely!
thank you so much for coming in and talking to us about bullying Dina!
DINA: it's ok, it's been my pleasure!
PAUL: Brilliant, and we'll see you next time!
BOTH: Bye!