Happy Friday, everyone.
Happy Friday, Ellen.
I want our time together to be a break
from all that worries you.
Hopefully, it's an hour of happiness.
Consider this our happy hour.
We've got $2 draft beers and $3 margaritas,
and Average Andy body shots in the back yard,
if anybody's interested in that.
This is always happy hour for me because I get to see my friend,
tWitch.
Hi, tWitch.
Hi Ellen.
It's good to see you.
Remember when we were so close that I could wax your legs?
Oh how can I forget?
Good times.
Yeah.
You waxing tWitch is honestly one of my favorite moments
in 17 seasons.
I should wax you one day.
You should, actually.
You know what?
So then we can share that, Andy.
You're right.
No, what I'm saying--
You should wax him.
No.
First of all, I don't have a lot of body hair.
Let's start there.
I've seen it.
All right.
Let's keep going.
All right.
Believe me, I've seen it.
Of course, Andy-- never mind.
Please stop.
I spoke to your wife, Andy.
And she said that I get to keep you.
Oh.
Sorry.
I meant I have to keep you.
That's what she said.
Since I have you both here, I thought
we could play one of our favorite games.
Let's play Five Second Rule, Quarantine Edition.
You both know how to play.
I'm going to ask a question.
You have five seconds to give me an answer.
The winner is going to get a brand new TV.
Wow.
For real?
Yeah.
For real?
Yeah.
Oh wow.
TV.
OK.
Mm-hmm.
Pay attention.
Yup.
tWitch.
Name three things you miss about me.
I miss your laugh, I miss lip singing and miss dancing.
[BUZZER]
Oh come on.
Wow.
That was a--
No.
That was a fast five seconds.
You took too long to start.
Oh God.
Everyone watched me.
My fingers were counting it out.
OK.
I can't see me.
But I can-- I know that I'm counting.
All right.
Ask my question.
Yeah.
Andy?
Yeah I'm ready.
Name three things you miss about being closer to me.
Your smell, your blue eyes, your hair.
Oh.
That was four seconds.
Thank you.
You miss my hair?
The smell of your hair.
I always think you smell very clean.
tWitch.
Name three words that don't describe Andy.
Athletic, talented, and--
Wow.
Doesn't matter.
Ellen will give you all the time in the world for this.
I felt--
Yeah.
What else?
But the thing is, I felt bad about that.
Like cause Andy, you're [INAUDIBLE]..
But you're just not--
you don't work out much.
Oh.
You can't get out of it.
I think that's five seconds, Ellen.
No.
There's plenty of time.
So I'm not talented.
I'm not athletic.
What's the last thing?
One-- just one more.
Narrow it down.
Just one more.
Tall?
Can I use the hyphenated above-average?
Can I do that?
Yeah.
OK.
All right.
Yeah.
I love you, though, Andy.
I love you.
That was--
I love you.
That felt really mean.
I love you.
That felt mean.
All right.
Andy?
Yup.
Three-- name three words that your sons learned from you.
Boobies, pee pee, bagina.
They now say bagina with a B like me.
So there you go.
Wow.
All right. tWitch?
Name three things that you have in your underwear drawer?
Boxers, briefs, and--
[BUZZER]
What happened?
That's all I--
You just stopped.
That's all I got in there.
Liar!
Andy.
Yeah, go ahead.
Name three handsome hockey players.
Anze Kopitar, Dustin Brown--
[BUZZER]
Damn it.
I blanked.
I know.
And I know there's a lot of them.
Yeah, they're good looking.
tWitch, name three things you should not do in the kitchen.
Throw hot grease, play with water,
and kick your legs up high.
Oh wow.
Kick your legs up high.
We shouldn't play with water?
Or kick your legs up high?
Don't kick your legs up high when you're in the kitchen.
Well, you're a good father.
All right.
Andy?
Listening.
Name three average parts of your body.
My abs, my wiener, my nose.
My wiener.
Not your pee pee?
No.
The wiens.
All right.
What is happening?
tWitch, name three things you do to impress your wife.
I dance, I body roll, and I say, hey baby.
That impresses her?
Impresses her, yeah.
Wow.
Hey baby.
Hey baby, don't kick your legs up high in the kitchen.
Andy, name three things you do to impress your wife.
Load the dishwasher, run the grill, and just not talk.
Run the grill?
Man, yeah.
I man the grill.
When she wants something on the grill,
I don't like her near that kind of fire.
All right. tWitch, name three things you did this morning.
Woke up, gave Maddox cereal, and then carried Zaia downstairs.
Well, I don't know if woke up was what you did--
well I guess--
I mean, I did.
I'll let it ride.
I did.
All right.
Andy?
Yeah.
Name three things you're feeling right now.
I'm feeling grateful.
I'm feeling sad.
And I'm feeling hopeful.
Oh.
Those are all real true statements.
Yeah.
All right.
That's how you play Five Second Rule Quarantine Edition.
tWitch, you won.
Well how did he win?
Because he did.
You didn't bump me one time.
You gets this.
Awesome.
It's a 65" TCL Roku TV.
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and they're the fastest growing TV brand in the United States.
They're award winning Roku TVs are the perfect way
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They're so easy to use.
And guess what?
I have hundreds to give away.
Go to my website to enter to win a huge TCL Roku TV.