♪ Miami is nice ♪
♪ So I'll say it twice ♪
♪ Miami is nice ♪
♪ Miami is ♪
Wait, wait a minute, wait a minute!
You put in an extra "Miami is nice."
- I had to! It hurts the music if you don't put it in.
Yeah, but the lyrics don't make any sense.
I mean, it goes,
♪ Miami is nice ♪
♪ So I'll say it twice. ♪
- Oh, I see the problem.
Well what about this?
Miami is nice. So I'll say it thrice!
(audience laughing)
- Right, who the hell says thrice.
- It's a word.
- So is intrauterine.
(audience laughing)
(door bell ringing)
It does not belong in a song.
(piano playing)
♪ Miami ♪
♪ you're cuter than an intrauterine ♪
(audience laughing)
(light music)
♪ Gonna stuff a chicken ♪
♪ Like my momma taught me ♪
♪ Gonna take the chicken down to Mississippi ♪
(audience laughing)
- Rose! Rose, just stuff it!
- Boom.
(audience laughing)
Boom.
(audience laughing)
Well?
- Well what?
- After my boom, comes your boom.
And then yours, until we're all booming.
(audience laughing)
♪ Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom ♪
♪ Mr. Sandman bring me a dream ♪
♪ Make him the cutest that I've ever seen ♪
♪ Give him two lips like roses and clover ♪
♪ And tell him that his lonesome nights are over ♪
(baby crying)
♪ Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom ♪
♪ Mr. Sandman ♪
♪ Yes ♪
♪ Bring me a dream ♪
♪ Make him the cutest that I'd ever seen ♪
♪ Give him the word that I'm not a rover ♪
♪ And tell him that his lonesome nights are over ♪
♪ Mr. Sandman I'm so alone ♪
(audience laughing)
- Oh, you guys really stink.
(audience laughing)
- Pay attention, you're in for a treat.
- Oh Ma! Not another act.
- No, Dorthy, not just another act, thee act!
I've taken a classic and reworked it Sofia style.
(classical music)
♪ Thanks for the Medicare ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ For Blue Cross and Blue Shield ♪
♪ For a hip that finally healed ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ Remember on prescriptions generic is a steal ♪
♪ We thank you so much ♪
(audience laughing)
(audience applauding)
Okay. What do you think?
Don't hold back. I can take the criticism.
(audience laughing)
- Depressing.
- Awful.
(audience laughing)
- Stinky.
(audience laughing)
- Go to hell, all of you!
(audience laughing)
♪ Over there ♪
♪ Send the word send the word ♪
♪ Over there that the Yanks are coming ♪
♪ The Yanks are coming ♪
♪ The drums rum tumming everywhere ♪
♪ Say a prayer say a prayer ♪
♪ Send the word send the word to beware. ♪
- How about some Irving Berlin, Blue Skies, All Ways?
- Maybe, maybe some other time.
- "What'll I Do"?
- D flat is good for me.
(audience laughing)
(piano music)
♪ What'll I do ♪
♪ If you ♪
(Dorothy vocalizing)
♪ Away ♪
♪ That I am blue ♪
♪ What'll I do ♪
- Very nice.
♪ What'll I do ♪
♪ When I am wondering ♪
♪ Who is kissing you ♪
♪ What'll I do ♪
- You're very good Dorothy.
♪ What'll I do ♪
♪ With just a photograph ♪
♪ To tell my troubles to ♪
♪ When I'm alone ♪
♪ With only dreams of you ♪
♪ That won't come true ♪
♪ What'll I do ♪
♪ With just a photograph ♪
♪ To tell my troubles to ♪
♪ When I'm alone ♪
♪ With only dreams of you ♪
♪ That won't come true ♪
♪ What'll I do ♪
(crowd clapping)
- You gonna sing for us tonight Dorthy?
- [Crowd] Oh yeah, Dorthy! Yeah, yeah! Come on!
- Oh, no no no, I'm not prepared.
- Come on you gotta sing for us again!
- I wouldn't know what to do.
- Hey! She said she's not prepared,
there's no use askin'.
- Would you look what I found? Sheet music!
(crowd cheering)
- Hey wait a minute, wait a minute,
I have a much better idea.
Let's all conga!
- Wait a minute, we wanna hear Dorthy sing.
(piano music)
♪ They call her Hard-Hearted Hannah ♪
♪ The vamp of Savannah ♪
♪ The meanest gal in town ♪
♪ Now leather is tough ♪
♪ But Hannah's heart is tougher ♪
♪ She's a gal who likes to see men suffer ♪
- What's the matter Blanche? You seem upset.
Is anything wrong?
- Oh no, no big deal.
Just one little thing.
I feel like I've died and gone to hell.
(audience laughing)
♪ She's Hard-Hearted Hannah ♪
♪ The vamp of Savannah G-A ♪
(crowd clapping and cheering)
- Everybody, May I have your attention please?
Two can play at this game, ya know.
Boys? I have a little surprise for ya.
- Yeah, yeah, we know.
You're not wearing a bra.
(audience laughing)
- No, no. I'm gonna sing.
(crowd hollering)
Would you please? Thank you.
For all my special friends here at the Rusty Anchor.
This one's for you.
Hit it Ron.
(piano music)
♪ I wanna be loved by you ♪
♪ Just you ♪
♪ And nobody else but you ♪
♪ I wanna be loved by you alone ♪
♪ Badoop ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ Kissed by you just you and nobody else ♪
♪ But you ♪
♪ I wanna be kissed by you and oh- ♪
(piano keys ringing)
♪ I couldn't aspire to anything higher ♪
(microphone screeching)
(woman vocalizing)
♪ I wanna be loved by you just you ♪
♪ Nobody else but you ♪
(piano keys ringing)
♪ I wanna be loved by you alone ♪
♪ Booboop badoop oh ♪
Hi handsome, what's your name?
- His name is Don, and he just had hip surgery.
(audience laughing)
- Well! Hello big boy.
Is that a gun in your pocket,
or are you just happy to see me?
(audience laughing)
(piano music speeding up)
♪ Oh I wanna be loved by you just you ♪
♪ And nobody else but you ♪
♪ I wanna be loved by you ♪
(woman screaming)
(audience laughing)
(piano music)
- Okay girls, I'm ready.
(audience laughing)
- Well Rose, do I look like the mayor of Palm Springs?
(audience laughing)
- Doug Henning is the mayor of Palm Springs?
(audience laughing)
- Just play the music, Rose.
(piano music)
(audience laughing)
(audience clapping)
♪ They say we're young and we don't know ♪
♪ We won't find out until we grow ♪
♪ I don't know if all that's true ♪
♪ But you got me and baby I got you ♪
♪ Babe ♪
♪ I got you Babe ♪
♪ They say our love won't pay the rent ♪
(piano keys ringing)
Rose, what's wrong, there's another verse.
- I'm sorry, but this song always takes me back
to St. Olaf in the sixties,
(audience laughing)
and the controversial issue that nearly tore the town apart.
- What Rose, Vietnam, civil rights, campus unrest?
- Opposite side of the street parking!
(audience laughing)
- Once upon a time, on a beautiful spring day,
Henny Penny was waking up from a nap on under an oak tree.
When an acorn fell from the tree, and hit her on the head.
(audience laughing)
Funny, when I was a little girl in Sicily,
and they told this story,
it was a safe that fell on her head.
(audience laughing)
Anyway, Henny Penny, being a chicken,
not the brightest bird in the world,
immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion.
- Oh. Dear.
(piano music)
♪ A piece of blue sky just fell on my head ♪
♪ The wherefore and why is best left unsaid ♪
♪ But I have a hunch and it's appalling ♪
♪ That like it or not the sky is falling ♪
- Henny decided to take action.
- I should go and warn the king.
- And off she went.
(audience laughing)
On her way, Henny came upon Goosey Loosey
(audience laughing)
One of the most popular birds in the barnyard.
- The most popular!
And the eighth graders are seeing a play today
about how to be that popular, safely.
(audience laughing)
- Well, Henny Penny, I do declare,
honey, where are you rushing off to?
- The sky is falling. I'm off to warn the king.
- Are you sure?
- Of course I'm sure, I don't need something
to hit me in the head in order to get the message.
Actually, in this case, it did hit me in the head.
(audience laughing)
♪ Oh dear ♪
♪ A piece of up there ♪
♪ Just landed down here ♪
♪ You better beware ♪
♪ The message is clear ♪
♪ The world's been fined ♪
♪ The prospect galling ♪
♪ It's run for your life ♪
♪ The sky is falling ♪
- This is terrible. I think we best both go warn the king.
- And off they went.
(funny travel music)
On their way, Henny Penny
(audience laughing)
and Goosey Loosey came upon Turkey Lurkey.
(audience laughing)
Yes, poor lonely Turkey Lurkey,
poor dateless hopeless self-basting-
- Ma!
(audience laughing)
And where are you two feather heads fluttering off to?
- Terrible news! The sky is falling.
- What?!
- A piece of it hit me in the head!
- Are you sure?
- Doesn't she act as if something hit her in the head?
We're off to warn the king.
- Oh dear.
♪ A piece of blue sky ♪
♪ Just did what they said ♪
♪ Don't stand there and sigh ♪
♪ Get under the bed ♪
♪ Don't stop to complain ♪
♪ It's no good grumbling ♪
♪ Cause this isn't rain ♪
♪ The sky is crumbling ♪
Oh, this is terrible news.
I think we best all go warn the king.
(piano music)
- [Ma] And off they went.
(audience laughing)
On their way, Henny Penny, Goosey Loosey, and Turkey Lurkey
came upon Foxy Locksy.
- Ladies, ladies, why are you in such a hurry?
Stop and smell the flowers.
- We can't! The sky is falling.
- Run that by me once again.
(audience laughing)
♪ A piece of blue sky just fell on her head ♪
♪ The wherefore and why are best left unsaid ♪
♪ But we have a hunch and it's appalling ♪
♪ That like it or not the sky is falling ♪
♪ Help disaster is near ♪
♪ Help we're drippin' with fear ♪
♪ Help the outlook is drear ♪
♪ We're dreadin' Armageddon may disrupt our career ♪
♪ And though he may refuse the news we bring ♪
♪ We must fly and try to warn the king ♪
(audience applauding)
(piano music)
♪ I have to say what I feel ♪
♪ Miami has so much appeal ♪
♪ A great place to get a seafood meal ♪
♪ Miami ♪
(piano music)
♪ Miami ♪
♪ You've got style ♪
♪ Blue sky sunshine ♪
♪ White sand by the mile ♪
♪ When you live in this town ♪
♪ Each day is sublime ♪
♪ The coldest of winters are warm and divine ♪
♪ Miami ♪
♪ You've got style ♪
♪ Blue sky sunshine ♪
♪ White sand by the mile ♪
♪ There's ball clubs and night clubs ♪
♪ All within reach ♪
♪ Dance the samba till morning ♪
♪ Then lie on the beach ♪
♪ Each view is a postcard ♪
♪ Each day a great time ♪
♪ The cream of the crop ♪
♪ It's the top of the line ♪
♪ Miami ♪
♪ You've got style ♪
♪ Blue sky sunshine ♪
♪ White sand by the mile ♪
♪ Miami ♪
♪ You've got style ♪
(girls cheering)