- Trying to find a public bathroom in New York City,
- Can be an absolute,
- Absolute.
- Shit show.
- Get it.
- Never in my life have I seen a clean public bathroom
in New York City.
- And it's really really frustrating,
if you really have to go, I have to pee all the time.
- When it comes to bathrooms for me
I can be a little boojie.
I don't have port-a-potty standards like Chris.
- I've been around New York City and thought my insides
were going to explode.
- A nice public bathroom in New York
is like the golden ticket
to Willie Wonka's chocolate factory.
(laughs)
- So I'm gonna go on this quest with Chelsea and Chris.
- We're gonna do all the dirty work so you don't have to.
- We are gonna find the best public restroom
in New York City.
(knocks)
Come in.
- [Chris] You guys ready to go?
- Yeah.
- We're ready man let's do it.
- Alright so our first step is gonna be plotting out
this entire adventure.
(upbeat music)
(clatters)
- I actually saw this Curbed article
that listed like a ton of great bathrooms apparently.
And they even rank 'em, so.
- For our convenience?
- Yeah for our convenience.
Maybe we could start right in Columbus circle.
- So like up here and then we'd just work our way down?
I think we can find a few more extra places
by talking to some people around the office.
Where should we be going?
- Probably the Time Warner Center.
That's not a bad bathroom at all.
- Yeah, we'll put it on the list.
- I always pee on the high line,
it's like a fine bathroom but it's a public one.
- Looking at all this together it's gonna be
a really tight schedule to try an fit all this in
in one day?
(tinkles)
- We're done with planning,
we got the bathrooms we want to go to,
we're ready, I think it's time to go out and drink
and pee all over the city.
Is the city ready for us?
We'll see.
(groovy music)
- Today is the day we've done all our research,
we've done all our planning, it's time to hit New York City
and we're gonna find the best public bathroom.
- We're gonna rate it from one to 10,
one being the worst, 10 being the best porcelain throne.
- At the end of day, we're gonna tally up the scores
and find out what is the best of the best
of public bathrooms in New York City.
But first we gotta fuel up.
- We're going to get coffee, we're going to get water,
time to fill those bladders
so we can pee all over this city.
(exhales)
- I'm gonna have to pee soon.
- We're on the subway going uptown.
- Here we are we are at our first stop
on our journey across Manhattan.
We're at the Lincoln Center, we all really have to pee.
- I expected it to be super fancy
'cause this is where opera is.
- Pinky's out.
- Pinky's out, pants down.
- Don't use that.
- Hell yeah.
- Told you guys it looked fancy.
Look at that grass on the wall.
(opera music)
- Is wait time a factor 'cause we have to wait.
Is it?
- Someone's getting out of the bathroom, go.
- Gotta go, gotta go.
I missed it.
- Everybody's waiting in line for that one
on the first floor like an idiot, (laughs)
so I'm going to the second floor.
- Going in.
Oh,
there's a urinal in here.
I mean it's pretty
it's pretty clean.
It's very private.
- No toilet seat covers, there's no paper towels.
- Chelsea's taking a while.
- I know, I had to film.
(laughs)
- Alright.
- We did it.
- Oh yeah.
- Definitely not like disgusting and gross.
- I don't think it's gonna be the best bathroom
that we see today.
- I don't know if it'll be in my top five.
- Oh. - [Chelsea] Wow.
- [Chris] Harsh words from Jade, wow.
- [Jade] Yeah there it is.
- Jade's really setting the bar high here.
- I'm a hard grader.
- Full disclosure, I know the next bathroom we're going to
I know that it's good.
- PHD in toilet paper.
- Yeah, I got a PHD in toilet but honestly.
- Pee.
- Pee. - [Jade] Pee.
- [Chelsea] Emphasis in pee.
- Alright so we're here at the Time Warner center
right across the street from Trump,
right across the street form Columbus Circle.
- I don't want to give to much away
but you can expect cleanliness, air conditioning.
- Whoa, let's roll. - [Jade] Let's do this.
- Let's go.
- Let's drain the pipe.
(upbeat music)
- So we're inside, it's so nice, it's fancy,
she's gliding around on the marble floors.
- So I'm in the elevator right now,
going up to check out the restroom.
- I feel like I've been walking for three god damn miles
in this place it's like a damn maze in here.
- I'll give you guys a little walk through tour,
nice handful of stalls.
You got one, two, three, four, five stalls.
These sinks.
- Cleanliness isn't as good but, it's a really big bathroom
servicing a lot of people so, like I just got it
on a different day.
I feel like I can only take off like half a point for that.
- Guys there was a god damned TV in the mirror.
Big bonus points.
There she is, thoughts, feelings?
- I loved it.
- [Chris] Right?
- It was really awesome.
Good shit.
Straight off the bat, good shit.
- This bathroom made me feel seen.
- I'll be bold and say it exceeded my expectations.
- [Chelsea] This is a weird project
now that I think about it.
- [Chris] Let's go to the next place.
(upbeat music)
- That's gonna be me in 10 minutes.
- Walking, across Central Park.
(fancy music)
(tinkles)
- Alright we're gonna go in to maybe the fanciest one
of the day, Bergdorf Goodman.
- This one's legitimately scary.
- And we gotta get out of the street before we get hit
by a car.
- Let's do it.
- We're gonna get hit by a car
let's go.
- I think it's fine to go in a fancy stores
wearing like not fancy clothing
cause its like power move, I don't care.
But then I show up and I'm like, I care.
- Definitely luxury.
So this bathroom has very secluded stalls which is very cool
privacy is top notch out here.
(fancy music)
- Pretty small.
Nah.
- We're going up, we're trying to get out
but we don't know how to get out.
Overall was great, I think that the mirrors were awesome.
Bathrooms were awesome.
- I liked it, I would pee there again.
- No for me.
- Magnificent.
- [Chelsea] Okay let's go. - [Chris] Let's go.
- I hate this part of the city.
- We're losing steam, it's getting real hot.
(tinkles)
- So we're here at the Citizen M Hotel,
right around the corner from Times Square.
- It's got like a sexy vibe on the outside, I'm into that.
- I'm looking for a sexy pee experience here.
- Lets pee.
(hot music)
- My, my, my whoa this is like trippy.
- I thought this was a single bathroom,
I was standing outside the whole time,
waiting for her to come out.
(laughs)
thank you.
Look that's the same lady that's on the door.
But I'm really sweating the toilet is not automatic
so I have to touch it.
- I guess that's how men used to look.
(laughs)
- Pretty good.
- Pretty good I think is an understatement,
I was super into that bathroom, I'm sorry.
- I liked it I don't know if it'll be my favorite
but I liked it.
- Toilets, immaculate, I like the seclusion of each stall.
- Nobody there which was great.
This is gonna climb the ranks for sure.
- Time to go shit the world.
- Let's go.
- Who's tired and who's gotta pee, me.
- Now we're gonna go check out Bryant Park.
Let's do it.
(tinkles)
Bryant Park man, we made it and we're tired as hell.
- Apparently there was like a quarter of a million dollar
renovation, - Renovation, recently yeah.
- So we'll see if they put the money where the pee is.
- Alright let's go.
(playful music)
- I think I'm on the trail, I think I found something
that could be a bathroom.
- We found it, it kind of looks
like a tomb.
- One of the worst parts of going to the women's bathroom
is the line for the women's bathroom.
- Line, look at you.
(flushes)
(dings)
- [Jade] Look at that.
- Jade got in trouble and got asked to leave.
- It's a classy bathroom.
- Best public park bathroom,
I've ever seen in my entire life.
- Hard agree.
- There's only two stalls in the women's one.
- I'm like craving a cup of tea.
Or a spot of tea after coming out of that thing.
- Yeah, tea.
Super clean, there was someone cleaning right after
I came out of the bathroom stall.
- I feel like alarmingly clean.
- Crazy stuff.
- Let's do it.
- Let's go pee some more.
(upbeat music)
- Got hydrated. - [Chris] You need to hydrate.
- Word.
- Hydrate, hydrate.
- I'm gonna put five of these, yikes.
- Well, well, well.
(tinkles)
- We are on the highline which is a renovated
used to be abandoned railroad track.
- It goes from 14th to 34th street and it's really cool,
they have like a lot of pop up shows.
- Get to peeing.
- Let's do it.
(reggae music)
(laughs)
- That was gross.
- [Chelsea] Oh really.
- It seemed to be like a little bit all over the spectrum
like I was pleasantly surprised.
- I was pleasantly upset.
- Yeah.
- I think it depends on the stall we got.
Cause like my stall was okay.
- Our sanity is like.
- Yeah.
- Tired of seeing toilets, that's for sure.
- Every time I pee, I pee for you.
- I'm not hearing it right.
(laughs)
I told you we're going insane.
Thank god this video is almost done.
We're almost done.
- Almost done.
- Here's our train.
- The sun is literally setting,
we have spent an entire day peeing around New York City.
And we have one left.
(tinkles)
Guys, we made it.
- This is beautiful and it's a lot calmer
than what the outside would entail.
- Yeah.
Let's see if we can end on a good note today.
Let's put our hands in one more time,
Cause we've been through a lot together.
Yes.
- [All] One, two, three, let's pee.
- I was starting to get nervous that I was gonna take
a really long time to find the bathrooms
but we found 'em.
Signage is aplenty.
- As far as the cleanliness goes,
I'm gonna have to take off a point for that little tissue
right there.
(dings)
- One thing I would say, that's pretty awesome though,
is little waiting room right outside the bathrooms.
That areas very cool, it has little vending machines
and stuff.
- How'd you feel?
- I'm digging it, (laughs).
- Interesting.
- Yeah.
- Is it a fav.
- It's a sleeper, I slept on it and it's a force
to be reckoned with.
It's new, super clean from what I saw.
- There was like a place to rest and get snacks.
- This place looks so beautiful out here.
I felt like the bathroom should have definitely
held up to that standard as well, I hate silver stalls,
silver stalls is a no no.
- [Chelsea] Why?
- It just makes it look trashier.
- We're gonna give some quick feedback on the scores
and why we gave each one,
we're gonna add 'em up and then we're just gonna
figure out who won.
Folks at home, my folks here,
the scores are in.
In third place, with a score of 24.4 out of 30
in third place we have, Bryant Park.
- [Jade] Woo, Bryant Park came in third?
- That's a strong bronze for Bryant Park,
I know Jade's probably a little bitter about that.
- I'm a little sad.
- Second place with a score of 24.5 a tenth more
we have the World Trade Center Transportation Hub.
- [Chelsea] Right here. - [Jade] Wow.
This one's a winner, top three.
- My stallion.
I'm sure this will come as no surprise but with a top score
of 26.5 out of 30 which is super strong
taking home the gold is Citizen M Hotel.
We did it you guys, we found the best public bathroom
in New York city.
- Citizen M and they're actually nice there.
So, just go talk to the ladies there, they're sweet.
- They're really nice.
- They'll show you where the toilets are.
(fanfare music)