Three ways to guarantee he'll treat you well.
You want to learn about how a man can treat you well, or if you just want
to look at Matthew, this is the video for you. The treatments that you want to
receive from a man and how you can have more of them in your life,
where you going, Matthew, he's done. He's left the building.
So Matthew is run off because there's a bunch of ants behind the camera
and he was doing a dance and having this sort of six minute war with these
ants and it looks like the ants have won. It was just you and me here.
I'm hoping the camera's still on. Think of some treatments that you want from
a man. You want a man, to be honest with you, you want a man to respect you.
You want to feel safe with a man. You want a man who is loyal.
You want a man who's a great communicator. These are all really
common things that I hear from women. And they're very fair to want from a man.
So I'm going to show you how to get more of these things in this video today.
The first thing before we get into the content is remember that these things
go both ways, right? So if you want a man to show up this way, it's really
important. You're showing up these ways as well. You want a man to respect you.
You gotta be respectful too. You want a man, to be honest with you, you gotta
be honest too. And in fact, a lot of my work with clients is helping them do
more of these things in their own life. It's easy to be honest when honesty is
easy, but can you be honest about your needs? Can you speak up more?
Can you be honest about when something's bothering you,
but how do you get men? How do you make sure men are consistently
showing up for you in this way? Well, other than bringing it to the table
yourself, there's a couple of key mistakes that I see women and clients make that
stop men showing up this way and tend to mean that a certain batch of women
keep getting the disrespect and then a small batch of women filtering all the
guys that respect them and make them feel safe.
So all these traits go both ways. But one of the big mistakes that we make with
these traits is treating them transactionally.
What I mean by that is I get a lot of women who come to me and they say,
okay, I'm going to respect men when men respect me, or I'm gonna be honest
with men. As long as the man is honest with me. And this makes a lot of sense
with this on the surface, right? Why would you want to be honest with someone
who's not being honest with you? But the problem is when you show up,
transactionally is preemptive strikes, right? Imagine you and I are on a date, right?
And I'm sure it'd be a great day, but imagine you and I are on a date.
And I say, okay, I'm going to be honest with this woman if she's honest with me.
I'm going to respect her. If she respects me, when you're treating values,
transactionally, it can be very tempting to preemptive strike, which is okay.
If this is my respect and honesty and loyalty, I'm going to take this off the table
if it's not returned, but then I don't want to lose. So I'm also going to take it off
the table. If I suspect you're going to take it off the table, right? And we get into this
mindset where it's like, Hmm, are you going to be honest with me? I'll decide if I'm going
to be honest with you based if you're going to be honest with me. And you end up in
this game, right? Where both people are making predictions about if the other one's
going to be honest and inevitably, whoever gets the most scared gets triggered first.
And they stopped being honest. Then the other stops being honest in response
and dah, dah, dah. No one's being honest. So even though this transactional approach
to values is tempting and kind of makes sense on the surface, you've really got
to drop it if you truly want men to show up in this way. You've got to say,
I will be honest unconditionally. Not because a man deserves it, but because
this is a value that I hold true. You've got to say, I will respect men unconditionally.
Not because I'm waiting to see if they respect me, but because this is important
to me, I will be loyal unconditionally. I will make a man feel emotional,
emotionally safe unconditionally, and a man needs to do the same if he wants
women to respect him. And if he wants to allow women, to be honest with him
and to feel safe with him, et cetera. And I know what you're probably thinking
here. You're thinking, wait a minute, hang on mark. I'm going to get used here.
If I show up unconditionally, I've been in that situation where I was unconditionally
honest and a man wasn't honest back. That sh*#t didn't work. So now I'm only being
honest with men who are honest with me, which brings me to the second thing you
got to do, which is you've got to have really good boundaries. You got to have them,
The transactional approach, which is, I'll be honest with you. If you're honest
with me is usually a response to not having boundaries in the past, which is to say,
okay, in the past I was unconditionally honest. And then someone wasn't honest
with me. So now I'm only going to be honest. If you're honest with me and we're both like
taking honesty on and off the table, depending on the transaction,
when you are unconditionally honest, but you still filter out and move away from
people who are not the same with you. Something really interesting happens
is the men who resonate with unconditional honesty, they show up in your life
and the men who are not willing to be that way, still get ruled out of your life.
Right? So any value you want from a man, if you want loyalty, if you want respect,
if you want honesty, you've got to show up in your dating in your relationships
with that unconditional, but you can still have an unconditional honesty and move
away from people who aren't reciprocating it. And it's only by balancing those two
can you truly guarantee that all the people you filter in are going to be unconditional
in that trait like you and all the people you filter out are going to be transactional or
conditional in it. So I hope that makes sense.
Let me know in the comments, if it does, if you can relate or let me know in the
comments, if it doesn't and you didn't know what I'm talking about through this whole
video, love to hear it.