REBECCA GRIMSHAW: All of a sudden overnight
she was like a skeleton. I would work harder the more weight she would lose.
She was my thinspiration.
COMM: Courtney Grimshaw was just twelve years
old when she embarked on a strict diet after being teased by her slimmer, older sister,
Rebecca. The competition between them almost cost Courtney her life.
REBECCA GRIMSHAW: I first saw her starting
to lose weight and I was kind of like, well you know, I was always the skinny one, so
I started like watching her, like figuring out how she does it, like we just kind of
did it together, like we would eat dinner at the same time, do workouts at the same
time, like everything.
COMM: The sisters would eat just 350 calories
a day and exercise for up to 6 hours.
COURTNEY GRIMSHAW: I remember she would wake
up in the middle of the night and need to exercise, needs to do a workout video. She
will wake me up and ask me to come down. We kind of let each other look to one another
for the drive.
COMM: Eventually Rebecca realised the damage
she was doing to her body and stopped dieting. But Courtney was powerless to stop losing weight.
COURTNEY GRIMSHAW: My lowest weight was 70
pounds, so I lost about 50 pounds in a year. I remember my biggest goal was getting to
69 on the scale. My opinion of my body at the time was so complicated, it’s weird
you have the, like, emotional side, the voice like in your head that says that you’re fat.
REBECCA GRIMSHAW: At the time, you know, I
was a little brat and me and my brother would call her fat and we would pick on her. And
for a couple of years during her anorexia I was like, tortured by that like in my head
I just like cried, and cried, and cried. And just like felt so guilty, because, I mean,
you can’t take that back, you know, the damage is done.
COURTNEY GRIMSHAW: When I received the apologies,
you know, emotion from her about it, I do remember just being so numbed. It was kind
of like one of those things where I just couldn’t feel right blaming myself, because I didn’t
tease me, and I was like innocent, and I was a victim.
COMM: But anorexia was just the start of Courtney’s issues.
COURTNEY GRIMSHAW: My problems with alcohol
began, you know, while I was in my worst anorexia. I would drink to eat foods that I couldn’t
eat while I was sober. It was kind of like permission to eat all the stuff that I, you
know, couldn’t do with my sober brain.
REBECCA GRIMSHAW: I would have to every single
night look at her stomach and make sure it’s still going up, make sure she’s breathing
and it was all ribs and I would have to put my finger in front of her nose and make sure
there’s air coming out, because there was plenty of times that we had to take her to
the hospital for alcohol poisoning.
COMM: Now aged 24, she’s teetotal and a
healthy weight. And the sisters are much closer again.
COURTNEY GRIMSHAW: Our relationship started
to veer towards rebuilding in a positive manner when I got dangerously low and she was able
to kind of pull herself out. She concentrated a lot then on helping me.
REBECCA GRIMSHAW: Our relationship is like,
I think probably better than it’s ever been.
COMM: And Courtney is using her experiences
to help others through her YouTube channel.
COURTNEY GRIMSHAW: Without her, my anorexia
wouldn’t have happened which led to all those other problems. But without her, I wouldn’t
have been able to help as many people as I have, and continue to and I’m willing to
and I’m proud to be that success story.
REBECCA GRIMSHAW: I love you.
COURTNEY GRIMSHAW: I love you, too. REBECCA GRIMSHAW: Sorry.
COURTNEY GRIMSHAW: And, no, it’s okay because I, I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome.
Like the fact that I was able to survive this and continue to get through it, it seems like
I’m, I’ve been thrown so much and I’m still winning.