Has it ever happened to you to have a little cry right after having sex? Or maybe it was
your partner who got a bit teary-eyed after intercourse? Or maybe both of you did at different
times and you're not sure why that happened or even if it's normal? Well, don't go anywhere
because you're about to find out! My name is Helena Nista and I make videos that help you have
the best sex of your life. And today, we're going to discuss why some people cry after sex. There
was a time in my life some years ago when I cried after sex every time. And sometimes during too.
And don't get me wrong - the sex was amazing and my partner was a fantastic lover. But as he was
holding me in his arms right after the intensity of the whole experience together, something
strange would happen to me. I would feel this raw, deep, intense energy of grief and sadness moving
through my body. And as it was sort of culminating in this wave like motion, that energy would burst
out of me in sobs and tears. It actually felt quite beautiful for me - primal, authentic,
very present in the moment. And my partner was just incredible because he wouldn't get upset
or confused by my tears. He would just hold me and he would just let me cry until I was done.
It never lasted long, maybe a few minutes, but he was always patient, always there with me. And
I truly appreciated that. I was really grateful to him for the way that he handled my emotions. After
a few months the crying stopped and for a while there it was actually weird for me to not cry
after sex. So there can be actually a few reasons behind the postcoital tears. And also, I think
that it's important to emphasize that these tears can happen after good, satisfying and enjoyable
sex. This is not about sexual abuse or about bad sex. What I'm talking about here are loving
couples engaging in consensual sexual encounters together. So the researchers have coined the term
postcoital dysphoria, also known as post-sex blues. And this means feeling sad or unsettled
emotionally after a consensual intercourse with your partner. And tears usually are a part of the
postcoital dysphoria but not always. This can feel quite confusing for both partners because feeling
upset doesn't usually go with pleasurable sex. And so both people can feel quite freaked out by
it. But there's nothing wrong with shedding some tears and it is actually quite common among both
men and women. There isn't a lot of research on this topic but in the studies that have been done
46% of women and 41% of men have admitted to experiencing postcoital dysphoria at some point
in their lives. That is a lot of people! And it's likely that these tears are caused by
the emotional intensity of the sexual experience. You see, sex is a powerful experience and when we
really travel deep together, our sexual energy can reach and open up some strong emotions within us.
When your entire system is going through something as profound as a deeply intimate, erotic
experience with someone that you love very much, things can move inside of you. That energy can
bring things up to the surface, it can show you some feelings that maybe you are unwilling to face
or it can stir up something from the past so if there is upset or resentment in your current
relationship, sex can bring these feelings up for you. But it might also have nothing to do
with your current partner and the feelings might be rooted in some past hurt or abuse
that you suffered. I believe that this is exactly why I cried all these years ago - because my old
sexual trauma was coming up for me. And I had to feel it in order to heal it. And because my
partner was so present with me, so patient and so loving, he was able to hold space
for me and for my tears. And so I was finally able to process the pain, grief and sadness
that I repressed in the past. Also remember that just because you're crying after sex,
doesn't necessarily mean that you're experiencing postcoital dysphoria. Sometimes these can be also
just happy tears from the pleasure, intimacy and beauty of the experience that you've just had.
So don't stress if you find yourself blissfully sobbing after an orgasm. So what should you do if
or when this happens to you? First of all, don't freak out. This is a normal and common occurrence.
There is nothing wrong with you so see if you can just relax, welcome the tears and cry them until
you're done. And if your partner seems uncertain how to respond, you can just say something like:
"it's all okay, please just hold me". Of course, all depends on your personal state and how capable
you are to express yourself in that moment. But having a frank, open communication will be really
helpful here. Even saying to your partner: "I'm not sure what's happening or why I'm crying but
I'm not upset, I'm not angry, etc. I'm just feeling a little emotional". Your lover might be
blaming themselves or might be wondering if they did something wrong. So reassuring them would be
a very good idea. And maybe you're actually able to detect and identify the feelings inside of you
and you're able to talk to your partner about them - that would be absolutely wonderful for both of
you. Or you might need something else entirely in that moment: to just lie in your lover's arms,
to sleep, to have a snack, to listen to some music, etc. Ask for what you need because some
good old aftercare might be exactly what your system is requiring in that moment. So now I'm
curious - have you ever cried after sex or is that something that you witnessed your partner
go through? Please let me know in the comments below. And while you're at it, please also leave
me a 'Like' to show your appreciation for all the work I do here on YouTube. And if you'd like even
more powerful tools, tips and techniques, make sure to check out my book "Legendary Lover" and
my free online course Tantra For Beginners. And if you've been getting value from my content,
please consider buying me a coffee through my Patreon account. It's absolutely not necessary
but always deeply appreciated by me. You'll find all the links in the description bar below. And
now, there is nothing left to say but goodbye. Have a fantastic day and I will see you next week!