Can you train your mind to think positive?
Can anyone do this? or is it
just special people with special skills?
I'm dr. Paul Jenkins. Welcome to hero TV!
That's what we'll be talking about today.
Have you heard before that happiness is
a choice?
I've heard that so many times I
believe that. And yet, there's some times
when we just don't feel happy or
positive. And then, remembering that it's
a choice is not all that helpful because,
then we feel guilty that we're not
making the choice. Do you see how this
gets complicated?
My friend Scott Willhite,
recently published this book it's called
"The Seven Core Skills of Everyday
Happiness" You might want to look that
one up.
Scott launched this book on a
Tuesday. Tt became a best-seller by
Thursday. And, here's why Scott brought a
whole new concept to this conversation
about happiness being a choice. Yes,
happiness is a choice and as Scott
points out, happiness is a skill.
Now, what
does that change? If happiness is a skill,
we're going to approach it a little
differently than if we're simply
thinking that it's a choice.
So, a months ago,
I...
found this.
Now,
Guitar...
is something that I've just started to learn .
So in September last year, I hired
a guitar teacher. I have a lesson every
Friday. I practice every day.
Okay, if my
mom is watching she probably knows I
never practiced every day on the piano
as a kid. I don't practice every day but,
I do practice regularly to develop the
skills for the guitar.
Now...
here's a question for you. Is guitar a choice?
You see that? Of course it is. I chose it and
I had no guitar in my background. Can you
choose guitar? Yes you can, Or any other
musical instrument. Now the good the
choice is essential but not sufficient.
Because just choosing guitar doesn't
mean that I can play the darn thing.
Right?
I'm actually developing some
skills on the guitar because I've been
practicing consistently. Can you see
where we're going with that? If happiness
is a choice that's really great to know.
and it's necessary but not sufficient, to
actually create positivity on purpose as
a habit. It has to be practiced.
So,
if we, tie it back into the guitar idea what do
you want to do? hire a coach.
Ok, I've been
coaching. i'm not trying to sell you on
my coaching. Find someone who can coach
you on different ways of thinking. We get
so in our own way all the time because,
everything that we're thinking has
become habitual. To think in a different
way doesn't always feel normal or
natural. When I started the guitar, my
guitar teacher Nate started with this
here's an actual recollection of the
first lesson. He said, "Dr. Paul
this is a guitar."
Oh awesome. He said,
"these are strings. This is called the nut,
this is the neck, these are the keys."
He walked me through the very basics and I
needed that because my own way of
thinking was not attuned to the guitar.
You see how this is similar? So you hire
a coach, and then you engage in a process
where you get to on a regular basis.
Get input and instruction. When I say
coach, I'm also talking about podcasts,
I'm talking about hero TV, I'm talking
about good books that I referenced here
in these these videos. Find ways to get
that information. The basic principles
and information into your head. And then,
you set up a practice protocol.
Watever you've been thinking you've gotten
really good at so if you feel like
you're really good at being negative,
okay it's going to take a little bit of
practice to get to the point where you
feel competent in the new skills that
you're developing.
Commit to that
practice protocol and be patient with
yourself. Look at this thing as a process
it's not an event so learning the guitar
is not something you just do on a Friday.
You know, I do it on friday but I do it
this friday and next friday and the
other Friday
I have my lessons on Friday
that's what I mean. It's a process not an
event. So remind yourself of that be very
patient and tolerant with yourself as
you're learning a new set of skills. And
then, the last thing about the the
practice protocol, celebrate.
Celebrate those, those victories as you see
yourself gaining those new skills have
some fun with it. Now, what are you going
to practice? I want to give you two brain
hacks. I call these brain hacks.
The first one, now we had another video about
how to be positive in negative
situations we go find that video you'll
get a quick little review that's
actually summarized in my mini book
"portable positivity" that helps you to
understand two processes going on in
your mind all the time. Evaluation and
Creation. I'm referring back to those
without going into detail here because
we covered that in the other video.
When, when you put yourself in that positive
position with the evaluation mode and
with the creation mode,
It powers up
everything and gives you a practice
protocol that you can work on. So, let's
start with evaluation. Here's the
evaluation practice I call it, the"
gratitude triple play".
Now all this is, is
coming up with things that you're
grateful for. Make a list. So keep it in
your smart phone, or on your tablet, or in
a in a little notebook. Make a list everyday
of three things for which you are
sincerely grateful. Don't pretend you
have to actually be grateful for it to
put it on your list. This is powerful. Now,
here's what really powers it up you get
one freebie. Everyday, one freebie.
Now what I mean by that is it's easy
simple to come up with things you're
grateful for related to what's already
awesome.
Okay and people list their
family, their health, yeah of course
you're grateful for that you get that
one freebie. Puppies, rainbows, indoor
plumbing, hot water, okay. The other two
everyday and don't repeat anything on
tomorrow's list that was on today's list
okay? Whole new list tomorrow. The other two
everyday have to be about something that
is currently kicking your trash.
Ok, something that is challenging, or
difficult, or painful, or frustrating. Pick
that, find something in that, for which
you are sincerely grateful. Now this can
be hard. Cancer. What if it's cancer? You
know, whatever your cancer is this hit
our family last year when my
sister-in-law was diagnosed Stage four
pancreatic cancer, two months from
diagnosis to funeral. Okay it took her
fast. Now, what if it's cancer? what could
I be grateful for about that? It's a
pretty good question. But, our brain turns
it into a statement disguise as a
question.
What could be good about that?
See how it's not a question? There's an
exclamation point at the end. Watch your
punctuation, turn it back into a question.
what could possibly be great about this?
what is there to be grateful for in this?
so I'm not saying be grateful for the
cancer, i'm saying peel it back. Look
inside of it digging rummage around in
there until you find something for which
you are sincerely grateful.
okay and for
me, with that cancer thing, I found a
relationship with my sweet niece. She's
22 years old special needs she got to
stay with me and my family for two
months while her mother was passing. Am I
grateful for that relationship? Yes I am.
Yes I am. So you don't have to be
grateful for the cancer. You got it? But,
look around inside there find something
two things every day in something that's
difficult. Okay that's the first brain
hack. Here's the second thing you get to
practice and notice I'm setting
you up on a daily practice protocol because,
we're going to train your brain to be
positive. Okay, now we're going to
creation mode. In creation mode, the brain
hack has to do with the clock. Think
about it. How sure are you that eight
o'clock is coming?
Oh, pretty sure. Okay,
how sure are you that you're going to be
around for eight o'clock?
almost as.
alright, think about it you got one hundred
percent track record so far you've made
it to every eight o'clock so far your
whole life and there's two everyday for
those of you don't get up early. Now, if
eight o'clock is coming and you're going
to be around for eight o'clock I think
there's only two options. I used to think
maybe there were three the things would
be exactly the same at eight o'clock as
they are right now not even possible
because, you're going to be a number of
hours older at the very least. You might
be more hungry, more tired, I don't know
it depends on what you did just before
eight.
So by your own evaluation,
Things have to be either better, or worse at
eight o'clock. Now, you know you could
make things worse think about it.
It won't take that long.
What if you were to
commit to better by eight? and I like to
remember this brain hack as the little
droid in Star Wars bb-8. You know, the one?
If you remember the droid bb-8 and
then just translate that into better by
eight that's your second practice
protocol. Do those two things practice
them consistently celebrate your
progress you can train your mind to be
more positive.
Hope you enjoyed the video today.
Thanks for watching hero TV. If you
liked the video, click the like button. It
helps us out and, helps more people see
it. I've put a lot of helpful resources
in the description below. One that I
definitely want you to check out is
Paul's book, "Pathological Positivity"
Definitley going to check that out.
Remember, live on purpose, make a difference, and be
the hero.