- What's up, guys?
I'm here.
We're at Denny's diner in Statin Island,
and I'm trying pretty much the entire menu today.
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I am so excited.
I used to come here all the time in high school,
and in middle school.
Okay just I came here a lot,
so I'm very excited to come back
and I'm going to be trying
pretty much the entire menu today.
I'm very excited.
Pray for me a little bit.
This is gonna be a wild one.
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It's really windy out.
We're about to start with round one, pancakes.
I haven't had a pancake in a long time,
aka Cracker Barrel or IHOP,
and I think my body has been missing it.
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It truly smells like funnel cake
like you're at a carnival.
It smells like
a 73 degree day
in upstate New York.
It smells like breakfast (sighs).
I'm so hungry and so excited.
We're gonna start with these
double chocolate pancake poppers.
If you say that three times fast,
a pancake goblin comes to get you.
Double chocolate pancake popper,
double chocolate pancake popper,
double chocolate pancake popper.
And there's chocolate chips
that are melted on the inside there.
Oh, my god, there's chocolate chips in there.
Fudge, that is good.
Wow, I don't think anything can top that.
This is our berry vanilla crepe breakfast.
Aw, such cuties.
I'm just gonna do a blatant slice
just down the center of this.
Oh my gosh.
Gonna get the opportune bite here.
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
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Very sweet.
One note,
I like mine to have a little bit more of a bite to it.
These are the apple bourbon pancakes.
I want there to just be like a shot of bourbon
that comes with it.
You want the center where it's super soft
and a little soggy, sometimes.
Oh my gosh, I imagine it's gonna taste very good.
Oh, it's carameley.
The apple and the pecans in there.
Oh, and cinnamon.
This one definitely beats the crepes, that's for sure.
My favorite pancakes when I was a kid
were the chocolate and banana ones
that my dad and I would make at home.
It's got some competition.
One banana, one bit of whipped cream,
that's a commercial bite.
It's a lot of pancake.
These are very soft pancakes.
They're light,
and they kind of melt in your mouth.
Very safe, basic option.
I don't wanna be safe,
which brings us to the salted caramel banana cream pancakes.
You get a little saucer of caramel.
Oh my gosh, oh no.
Mayday.
This looks more like a dessert than a breakfast,
but I am not complaining at all.
This is a treat yourself pancake.
That's wild.
That is very rich.
You had a hard day, you've just been through a breakup,
you just lost your job, I don't know, you chip a nail,
eat this as your reward to yourself.
I'm gonna sit here with my pancaked poppers, though,
into the next round.
Round two, eggs.
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Oh, and there's more.
Holy egg.
If you've never had a grand slam before,
it's actually from this baseball player,
Hank Aaron from the Atlanta Braves,
and that's where the grand slam came from
'cause he had some crazy world record he beat or something.
We can put the real facts here of what actually happened.
They said that there's over 100 ways
that you can make a grand slam.
You can get two pancakes,
you can get your two scrambled eggs,
one really big breakfast sausage,
and you can have hash browns, you can do bacon.
Whatever you want, they can build it for you.
Confession, I don't love French toast.
My biggest fear in life is soggy French toast.
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Okay, I'm actually surprised.
The crust here makes it so it's a little bit crunchy
and it's not just soggy.
I'm happy it's not just sweet.
There's a little bit of saltiness to it.
I wonder if people ever put the bacon with the French toast.
Do you think that's a thing?
That seems like a thing.
Oh, that's better, that's way better.
Maybe I don't hate French toast after all.
Look how big this is.
It's huge.
I'm not gonna compare it to anything,
because if I do, it's just gonna go downhill.
Just some morning wieners.
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Mmm, yeah, that.
It's herby, it has a lot of seasoning in there.
It tastes like a really good breakfast sausage
and that's what it is.
I'm going to get my team middle piece here of my pancake,
oh wow, can you see how bouncy that is?
It's very light.
Very soft and fluffy, like a pancake cloud.
When they say ultimate, I can only assume
it's because it literally has everything in it.
You have green peppers, red peppers,
you got onion, you got breakfast sausage,
you have cheese, you have tomatoes,
and you get four pieces of toast.
Yeah, they literally put everything in there.
Wow.
I like this more than the grand slam.
Is that (beep) up to say?
If you say that inside of Denny's, you go to Denny's jail.
This is the western omelet.
It's got jalapenos and we got our ham.
I love jalapenos.
Oh, man down!
This actually all works together really nicely.
The jalapeno.
I see hash browns here.
I have to try them.
I love the crunchy bits.
So good.
Last, but not least,
we have the Philly cheesesteak omelet,
which also comes with a bunch of toast and hash browns,
and look how big the pieces of steak are,
like they put the whole piece in there, you know?
Okay, I would eat the hash browns.
I felt the strongest about the western omelet,
the grand slam, the ultimate omelet.
I don't eat French toast,
so French toast is gonna go down at the bottom
with the Philly cheesesteak one.
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Can you hear that?
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We're doing the moons over my hammy,
the greatest phrase that's ever been created.
You got the cheese, you got the eggs, you got the ham,
and there's two different types of cheese in here.
This is gonna be what kills me.
Wow, this is the perfect hangover cure.
Bread, butter, cheese, egg, ham,
oh my god, moons over my damn hammy.
Next, the grand slamwich,
but when you look at it,
it looks like what we just had but with more meat in it.
You're getting sausage and bacon in here,
so I imagine I'm gonna like this one even more
'cause there's more flavors.
Interesting.
No, I think I like just the regular
moons over my hammy.
This is like extra.
I don't think it needs it.
Is there maple syrup, something, something in here?
Maybe it's the bread.
Is this like French toast bread?
There's some maple syrup flavors in here.
I don't know where it's from.
That's crazy.
It is heavy.
And I can tell you when it came out,
it looked like it was on fire.
It was just poppin' everywhere.
We have the supreme sizzlin' skillet right here,
two eggs,
such a pretty little girl.
We got potatoes, steak, cheese, spinach.
There's so many more veggies in this.
It appears to be one of the healthier ones.
I like that, that's a change of pace
from that sandwich to this.
You get way more veggies in it,
way more flavors going on.
If you don't like bread, we can't be friends,
and you also would like to order this, probably.
You got your typical steak and eggs.
You can actually see the T shape here.
It's like such an American thing, right,
that we do steak and eggs?
Like can I have a pound of meat with my eggs, please?
Gotta go chop some trees down later.
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Okay.
This is like a hefty amount of food on this plate.
This is a lot.
You need to be doing some wild (beep) that day
that you're ordering that.
It's like if a steak and a chicken tender
and like a fried chicken all went to the same party
and like made out.
This is gonna be like perfect, crunchy,
and meaty happiness going on here.
Wow, that's really good.
It's very crunchy.
The breading to steak ratio works in my favor.
It's perfectly salty, meaty.
You can order that 2 a.m., 2 p.m.,
it won't make a difference.
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It's dinner time at Denny's.
I've been here long enough
that it would be dinner time actually.
We're gonna be trying
all their starters and dinner items right now.
I'm gonna start with this choice sirloin,
which I've been told is a very nice cut of meat.
I built myself a cute little bite right here.
Here we go.
Oh, that's really nice.
That's juicy.
I don't think it has much sauce on it, if any.
That tastes fancy as (beep).
These are some of their taters.
I like that.
These are nice and buttery.
Seems like the perfect description of this.
It looks like loaded as hell.
There's nacho toppings all over this
and I can't even see the top
because of how many toppings there are.
There's like a pool of cheese.
If you'd watch like a game here, you would order this.
Whoa, that's a lot of cheese.
I'm not even sure there's tots in here.
I'm not even convinced on that.
There's a lot of things going on there.
Holy (beep).
Since we're already on nachos,
we're gonna move over to the zesty nachos.
I have an assessment.
This is better than the totchos.
The zesty nachos over the zesty totchos.
There's too much flavor going on in this one.
This one has the right amount of flavor.
My heart is going slower.
I think that the cheese and the pancake
is going through the veins.
Is this the downfall?
My heart is like why are you doing this?
And I'm like shut the (beep) up!
We're on the crazy spicy sizzlin' skillet.
Considering I have a slight lisp,
this is a really hard order for me.
Literally half way down is cheese
and then the other half way down looks like the spicy sauce.
What's under here?
More cheese.
Aw man, you're really making my lactate work hard today.
Supposed to be crazy spicy.
When they brought it out,
they were like, "oh it's crazy spicy,
"can she handle it"?
This bite is gonna kill me.
I can already tell when I dip it.
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Waiting for it to hit.
It's a Mexican heat and spicy flavor
that I'm not into personally.
They told me all the dipping sauces.
I thought I memorized it,
but I'm, mm mm.
Let me try ranch, Denny's sauce, mango habanero,
honey mustard, buffalo,
oh no, (beep),
you're, what are you?
Fun sauce, spicy mayo, barbeque, bourbon.
What the (beep) is that one?
Tender time at Denny's.
Fun fact before I go into this.
Denny's used to be called Danny's
and they started it in California.
When they were Danny's, they were Danny's Donuts.
Then they had a competitor named Danny's something else
and they were like we wanna make sure
that people don't get us confused,
let's just change the A to an E
'cause there's no one named Denny's.
They were just like we don't wanna be confused
with these losers, and now it's Denny's.
I wanna try the bourbon sauce, I think.
Oh, thick.
Wow.
Okay.
That bourbon sauce tastes like a strong grandpa
in a good way, hot way.
If anyone knows any strong, hot grandpas,
I think give him this bourbon sauce for Christmas.
I've accepted my demise.
It just goes real downhill from here,
so if you wanna just like stop watching,
and you've seen the best,
it's only gonna get worse,
so if I were you, I'd just stop here.
This is your moment to stop.
Now you're stuck with me.
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I keep thinking I'm gonna see the light
at the end of the tunnel.
This is the appropriate time to say I quit.
Someone else can host the show now.
I am done.
I'm in over my head.
Oh god.
There are so many sticks on the table,
which can only mean we're in sandwich round.
We're two rounds away
from eating basically everything at Denny's.
High school me would be so proud
and so excited that I'm doing this.
This looks like three burgers.
It's not like a full on patty.
It's kinda broken up into pieces
so all the cheese gets in the nooks and crannies.
That's one patty, two patty,
that looks like a third one almost.
It's dripping on me.
It feels soft.
I really like when burgers feel soft and melty,
and that's what this one feels like.
Oh my god, this is so good.
Tastes really (beep) good.
I don't even wanna put that down
and move onto anything else,
but this is the life I have chose,
so I'm going to keep moving on.
I'm pretty sure every Cali club comes like this
where just like a bunch of little pieces
and you always have your avocado and bacon
and your turkey and your ham
and it looks like there's Swiss with this one.
And a bunch of pieces fall out all the time.
It tastes like Applewood smoked bacon.
Extra crunchy and fresh.
It's basically a breakfast egg sandwich
on a different level.
Kind of like a concoction I would come up with
when I'm very hammered.
This thing is packed.
You've got egg, bacon, potato, burger.
This thing is so (beep) huge.
I wanna attack it from the back,
but that seems wrong and inappropriate.
The slam burger is a slam of things all combined together.
It's almost inappropriate how much is going on in here.
This looks like it's gonna be
a bunch of shredded meat in here
with a bunch of onions and cheese.
This looks very delightful
and the bread also looks wonderfully crusty.
Wow.
I feel like it's gonna be crunchier
instead of like the white bread.
Yeah.
Oh god, it's so many Bs.
Bourbon bacon burger.
They love alliteration here.
I'm concerned that there's too many colors going on here.
You got red, you got purple,
you got yellow, you got brown, you got green.
It tastes fancy.
This one has way more toppings on it.
It tastes more deluxe,
but I don't think a burger has to taste deluxe to be good.
This is a lot of flavor going on
because of the pickles, tomato, and onion.
The bourbon sauce has that sweetness to it
that a strong grandpa would like
if we remember what I described it before.
For me, that's not my style.
I don't like sweet things.
We are on the last sandwich.
Energy came back up, I'm alive.
I'm assuming the call it the super bird
because there's a lot of turkey on it,
and there's bacon and cheese.
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I thought that this one would be very bland.
Doesn't have much going on in it,
but it's actually the perfect combo.
I think it's the bread.
The bread's the saving grace on this one.
It's perfectly crunchy, buttery bread,
but simple and understated.
This diner double is the obvious winner.
Then it's the pot roast.
And then these four, they're more forgettable,
but those two are like,
I'm gonna be thinking about those when I go to bed tonight.
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Oh my god, we've made it to dessert round at Denny's!
Wow, so much ice cream.
So excited.
Let's do this.
If a zombie apocalypse happened right now,
there is no way I am winning.
I am the first thing that's being eaten
and I probably taste the best, honestly right now.
I have so many flavors going on in me.
I am like fattened up.
We have the beautiful dessert round in front of us.
And we have two milkshakes,
which I need to get to asap.
We have a peanut butter banana.
If there was chocolate, this would be considered
pretty much an Elvis milkshake.
And then we have the cake batter milkshake,
which of course, has a confetti explosion
of sprinkles going on here.
Oh.
I think the combo of peanut butter and banana
is one of the most beautiful combos.
I don't have enough Lactaid in my purse
for me to drink this entire thing,
but if I could, I would.
That's the perfect combo.
This cake batter one, on the other hand,
I'm imagining is gonna be straight up frosting in a cup.
That is quite literally a cake
that they just blended together.
My dentist is already not happy with me.
He's now gonna be very mad at me.
This is their apple crisp and it has a bunch
of caramel, apple, ice cream goodness in it.
Very crunchy, it's like granola, like a cookie,
and there's huge pieces of apple in here.
That looks nice.
It's a perfect amount of soft on the bottom
and chewy and crunchy on the top.
Look at this cauldron of ice cream and chocolate
going on right now.
It looks like a witch's brew that I just did to myself.
Did you see that fudge?
Oh man, big Jules is comin' out.
She's excited.
♪ I'm coming out. ♪
I don't think I've had a bad lava cake yet.
They're just so perfect
'cause they're gooey and chocolatey on the inside,
and if you let the ice cream melt like I do,
then it becomes this like chocolatey, gooey cake soup.
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That I want in a milkshake almost.
I would just sit here and actually chug it,
if I wasn't in front of a camera and people.
We can't end Denny's on a lava cake or milkshake.
We have to end it on pancakes
because you can get pancakes for dessert.
Why not?
We got this dulce de leche sauce.
Oh my god.
Yeah, that is beautiful.
I just wanna, oh, look at that.
This thing is smothered.
There's a lot going on in here.
Okay, middle bite.
Don't go for the edges.
Don't be a psychopath.
This is my last bite at Denny's.
It has been a wild, wonderful, beautiful ride,
but it has to end, and it will end with these pancakes.
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Holy (beep).
That tastes like a bit of a cinnamon roll,
but with the dulce de leche caramel sauce on it,
it's like crusted.
Honestly, if you could get every pancake with ice cream,
get it the a la mode,
I think you would be having a ball of a time.
If I had someone who could wake me up in the morning
and make me something, I would have them make me this.
I've been here for too long.
I have to get out.
I'm not allowed to stay any longer.
I'm gonna take the rest of the food back with me to delish,
but these are personally mine and only mine
and they will stay with me.
Until next time, goodbye.
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