hello my friends i am so excited to be making this video i've been wanting to make it for a long time
i've dated so many men and i've learned so much and what astonishes me is that people still do
these things and dates do follow these tips at your next date and i promise you'll be successful
number one and this is something i tell all my friends and that drives me crazy and that is
you do not have a type having a type is just a limiting belief the amount of times people have
told me oh so you're into that kind of guy no i'm into all guys so if you feel drawn to someone for
whatever reason just ask them out no matter if you're boy or girl just ask them out yourself
and don't look at a checklist or a type because that will just set you back number two is really
important for both men and women when being on a date and that is to not justify behaviors
all of my friends do this all the time and it makes me so sad because justifying someone else's
negative behavior is just telling yourself that you're not worthy of more but you are you are
definitely worthy of more by justifying these things or making excuses for the other person
you're ignoring your own self-worth and the worst part about this is that this happens on a first
date or even a second or a fifth date chances are extremely likely that you have to keep justifying
their behavior but you shouldn't be with someone where you have to justify their behavior right it
makes no sense because you should be with someone who appreciates you and loves you and cherishes
you and who act like a decent loving person in the world number three is to be an adult when you're
dating before i met my husband i dated for a long time i've also dated in every single country i've
lived in and i've dated everyone from musicians to artists to millionaires uh it's been crazy
and weird but one thing i didn't learn until i was maybe like 24 was to behave like an adult
when i'm dating what i mean by this is to be upfront be straightforward respond to texts the
moment i have time to not worry about if they're thinking i'm responding too quickly or being too
forward asking people out if i'm interested in them and just behaving like i would with a friend
this is also an important point if you don't want to see someone again after a second date
just let them know as quickly as possible you can tell them by text it's been a first date it really
doesn't matter you can text them you can call them you can say it on the date if you feel comfortable
doing so but the sooner the better just go for it and if they don't respond to you then they're
clearly not interested so then it's just time to move on anyway number four is a really important
point especially for people who don't date much or for people who've been in long-term relationships
because they tend to ignore this one and that is to go with your gut feeling so many of my friends
tell me that they've gone on a second date with that person they didn't like
yes the person they didn't like they ended up going on a second date with so many of my
friends do this and especially my friends who are insecure about dating or haven't dated that much
and it's just so unfortunate because we should listen to ourselves listen to what you want don't
care about what anyone else wants and this is so important when dating because you are the person
who's going to end up spending a lot of time with this person so if you don't like them if you if
it doesn't feel good in your gut just call it off and no one can be angry about that anyway
number five is more of a don't but it's very practical and i don't know why you guys do this
but don't ask people if they want to have kids don't ask them on the first date don't ask them on
the second date i mean don't even ask them on the fifth date because this is not a valid question
to ask on a date let me tell you why when you're asking this question to a person you barely know
you're telling them hey i care more about having kids than how suitable i am as a parent
or how suitable you are as a parent or if we work well together it literally is prioritizing
a yes or no answer from a stranger over the health and happiness of you and your future
maybe kids we don't go up to strangers on the street and say hey would you like to have a kid
it makes no sense if you don't want to date someone because they don't want to have kids you
are the one who shouldn't have kids why yes that's a controversial statement but why because kids are
an immense blessing but it's not something we're entitled to and if you move through life thinking
you're entitled to children it's going to be very hard to find someone that you can be honest with
and love because all you're looking for is someone to have children with and not someone who's a good
partner or a good parent and you might not even have thought about if you're a good parent or
not because you focus too much on having children rather than understanding that they're a blessing
i hope that makes sense number six is stop poofing pillows so this is an expression me
and my best friend has started to use because it happens to her especially all the time
i'm very bad at pooping pillows so i often have the opposite effect on people but this is that
thing you know when you go to an event and there's a her host there and they're a very good host
but instead of making sure that they feel happy they make sure everyone else feels happy first
so instead of going for a drink when they need it they go and poof the pillow for someone else
and they always seem to care more about other people think and also how other people are feeling
rather than how they are feeling but this is such an important habit to break you have to stop doing
this if you do this on a date you're completely forgetting about yourself and your own need and
chances are the other person is going to think why is that person not talking about themselves
why are they only interested in me this is a very unequal relationship and it's really important to
remember that both dating and dating romantic relationships but also friend relationships
are about two people it's never about one person so it needs to be equal and that's also why you
need to stop poofing your pillows number seven is when i struggled with when i was younger
and that is not everyone will like you and that is completely fine this is so so important not
everyone will like you not everyone will respond to your messages not everyone will want to go on a
second date with you not even on a first date and that's okay and it's really important to remember
this because of several reasons please don't ever ask a person why they don't want to see you again
it's very disrespectful and it's not respecting their boundaries a no is enough you don't have to
explain yourself and if someone doesn't want to go on a date with you the reason doesn't matter
it might be because their cat died it might be because they're tired it might
be because they're in a journey in life or they only want to date people with blonde hair
but again you wouldn't want to date any of those people right and this is the reason why dating
is so fun because when someone says no to you it's really just a blessing in disguise it's
like when one door closes another one opens don't push anyone else if they don't want to date you
and don't be upset if someone doesn't want to date you everyone has their raisins the higher truth is
that the reasons don't matter if they don't want to they don't have to we're all adults remember
and the final one and i will say this one because i am 100 sure everyone who watches this video
will do this and that is to not talk about past relationships everyone says they don't do this
yet everyone does i find it perplexing very very strange there are so many reasons to
not talk about your past relationships the reason we don't want to talk about this on a first date
is because the first date is a new beginning it's about who you want to be with that person
not who you were a year ago when you broke up with someone else it's also private you don't know
someone on the first date this is really important to remember and also it just doesn't matter so
have fun on your dates be free be yourself don't have limiting beliefs and talk about who you are
now and don't talk about the last person you kiss kissed or made out with i mean how strange is that
to bring up on a first date not good for anyone i think dating is super fun and romantic and freeing
and it's an exploration of who you are and who you want to be and it's also fun to get to know other
people and it's fun to practicing boundaries i think it's a lot easier to practice boundaries
at a first date compared to a seventh date so practice who you want to be in a relationship on
the first date and it will make those choices or decisions so much easier when you're in an actual
relationship and i think finally remember that none of it matters you're just doing it for fun
anyway dating without attachment is the only way to go when i met my husband the first thing i ever
said to him was hey i want to be completely honest because we're in a new country and i've never met
you before and what i find about relationships is i want someone that if i ever want to break
up with them or be with someone else i want to do so by just simply walking out the door
tying them at breakfast and then never experience any drama about it so setting that up was a good
start and we've been happily married for i think four years now but dating is also super fun and
i will definitely try to make sure i date my husband more because it's just very fun dating so
i really hope you like this video i am super passionate about relationships and dating because
it's a crazy world out there and people are crazy if you like this video you can give it a thumbs up
and you can subscribe to my channel and then you can also leave your comments down below if there
are some other relationship videos you'd like to see oh and one last thing i also started a second
channel about spirituality and i will link that in the description and up in one of the corners
so you can go check that out if you're interested thank you so much see you next week bye