how porn and masturbation change your personality you might not even realize it's happening
when you found porn and how you reinforce it every time you watch i'm dr trish lee stay with me in
this video because first i'm going to explain to you number one what your personality is number two
how that personality developed and what it's doing for you it's a survival mechanism
number three i'm going to talk about how porn impacts the development and how you keep
using a personality that is not serving you and lastly number four is your brain tip strategy
what you can do to turn this thing around so you can leave porn behind
so think about that for a second because yes it leads to how other people perceive you
but you're using this persona or giving off this way of being and way of interacting with the world
based upon what you believe about yourself so if you use porn and if you're objectifying women
and if you're masturbating to self-soothe yourself that's using a personality type that isn't serving
you because that's not the personality of your full potential it's actually a misperception
of yourself now when you misperceive yourself and you're no longer the true authentic version
of yourself you're this version that needs self-soothing and that has anxiety about the world
it creates more fear and anxiety it leads to a decrease in motivation lack of focus it makes
you feel depressed now file with me follow me into number two so we can connect the dots here
the reason that this happens is because when you were young you found porn and it made your brain
and body feel good and so what happened was you learned that it's a tool to go to so that
you can feel good to offset stress anxiety family dysfunction chaos boredom so it became the thing
that you did but every time you go to it you're inadvertently reinforcing the pattern of fear and
anxiety in your brain it's a literal brain pattern the way that your brain works the quick version
is that our brains use electrical energy if your brain is using too much fast speed and
too much slow speed simultaneously instead of perfect speed in the middle what happens is you
feel overwhelmed and anxious it's a brain that wants to be calmed and stimulated simultaneously
now stay with me this is something new when you're young your brain makes lots of the slow speed
and if you have anxiety or especially trauma it starts to make lots of that extra fast speed
in childhood or adolescence so now when you find porn the brain pattern that you're using is the
perfect one to be offset by how good porn feels because there is lots of slow speed because you're
young that's how it works developmentally and because you have a stressor but now this is what
happens as you continue to consume porn it keeps the fast in the slow speed cranking where if your
brain was developing in a healthy way that slow speed would come down if you didn't have stressors
or trauma there wouldn't be as much fast speed so as you developed if you weren't watching porn
your brain would would have developed differently you would have had a different personality one
that was a reflection of the healthy brain pattern are you with me i hope you're still with me i know
it's complicated but the point is porn changed the way that your brain performed when you were young
and it keeps you using that young brain pattern so it's time to grow up your brain pattern
and to become healthier so your personality can be optimized as your brain is optimized now number
three what happens as a reflection of using this young brain pattern your emotional maturity is
stunted along with that delayed brain development so it means that your self-awareness is low
your ability to self-regulate without porn is low now we know porn use and masturbation use
is about mood regulation it's about feeling good to offset feeling bad bored or stressed so that
is not healthy self-regulation it's unhealthy self-regulation that you learned when you were
young and you got caught into the feedback loop of it what that leads to is decreased social
awareness so now this perception of yourself has changed you have decreased self-worth and you're
thinking more negative things about yourself because your brain is stuck in that young pattern
that was stressed out and it's still using too much slow speed it makes you look at your parents
differently it makes you look at women differently it makes you look at your friends differently
it creates more anxiety in the world you look at the world differently you look at it as a more
difficult place to exist which reinforces the need to use porn it keeps you stuck
and it's stuck based upon the brain pattern and the personality so that's the social awareness
piece so fourth is social regulation being able to navigate relationships with healthy communication
and interactional style this becomes warped because of the personality that you're stuck
in because of the brain pattern you're stuck in so number four what do we do about this clearly
it's time to leave porn behind but in this video when i what i want to highlight is if you can
change that perception of yourself as you stay out of the screen your brain pattern is going to heal
you'll optimize the way that your brain works at the same time you'll change the way that you're
thinking about yourself increase your self-worth get on purpose get back to thinking about what
little you wanted to do and go do those things in the world and become that healthier version
by perceiving yourself with higher self-esteem and higher self-worth and i know it's difficult
to change your perception of yourself the easiest way to change that perception is to do
something new act in a new way stop watching porn because that will keep you in a shame loop when
you stop there's less shame that will start to go away here's the here's the tip for the day
start doing an act that brings you dignity and it puts you in integrity go do something that
makes you feel worthy that's important to you one gentleman i work with is volunteering and
an animal shelter totally awesome so now he's in integrity he had to kind of go through some
some hoops and some bureaucracy and some red tape to be able to do this but now he's contributing to
the world in a way that's meaningful to him in dignity and integrity staying out of the screen
and contributing to the world that's how you change your perception of yourself because you
wake up in the morning going i'm the dude who contributes not on the dude who sits in my room
watching porn and masturbating you're no longer the dude that hides that
so that's how you change your perception by doing the things that create dignity and integrity
which shifts the way that you think about yourself that will begin to heal your brain it'll unwire
that porn brain pattern and by acting in a new way you're rewiring your brain to move in the
right direction and if you continue to do that you hardwire in this new better brain pattern
for the rest of your life so let's get out there let's use that personality that contributes and
rock out your best self so that you can leave the screen behind decrease anxiety increase focus and
motivation and have an amazing life okay that's my hope for you if you're looking for help on this
journey please reach out to me dr trishlee.com i have programs of all different shapes and
sizes to be able to serve you okay and as always remember control your brain or it'll control you
you