- WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT YOU WOULD BE HERE
ON A DAY WE'RE PLAYING A GAME CALLED "PITCH PLEASE."
I MEAN-- [laughter]
- IT'S CRAZY. - YEAH, IT IS.
IT'S--WHAT A COINCIDENCE, RIGHT?
- YEAH. - YEAH.
YOU'RE GOOD AT IMPROV, RIGHT?
- UM, I, LIKE-- SOMETIMES IN MOVIES,
I JUST DON'T LEARN THE LINES.
- RIGHT.
- AND SO YOU'RE FORCED TO MAKE THINGS UP.
- RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S GONNA BE PERFECT
FOR THIS GAME WE'RE PLAYING, 'CAUSE WHAT IT IS--
IT'S LIKE--IT'S AN IMPROV GAME, AND YOU KNOW HOW
YOU SELL A PRODUCT ON QVC, BUT-- THIS IS SORT OF LIKE THAT.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO REALLY SELL THE PRODUCT,
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
- OKAY. - SO I'M GONNA GIVE YOU CLUES.
I'LL ASK YOU QUESTIONS.
YOU'LL STAND RIGHT HERE BEHIND IT.
- ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT?
- SO I CAN'T SEE WHAT IT IS.
- YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS,
BUT YOU HAVE TO SELL IT, ALL RIGHT?
HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA BE SELLING RIGHT THERE.
OKAY?
[laughter]
FIRST OF ALL, WHY--
TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT THESE AND WHY THEY NEED IT.
- WELL, AS YOU KNOW, I USE THIS PRODUCT EVERY DAY.
- EVERY DAY?
- YES.
AND, ELLEN--
- ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT?
- BASICALLY, YEAH. - YEAH.
- AND, ELLEN, AS YOU KNOW, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING UP,
AND YOU'RE KIND OF LIKE, "WHAT DO I GET MY UNCLE?"
- YEAH. [laughter]
THAT'S A-- THAT'S VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.
HAVE YOU USED THEM BEFORE? DO YOU KNOW HOW THEY WORK?
- YEAH, AND--
LOOK, MAYBE IT MIGHT BE BEST IF I DO THE JINGLE.
- OH, OKAY.
- OKAY, IT GOES LIKE THIS:
[singing] WHAT DO YOU NEED RIGHT NOW?
THIS
YOU REALLY WANT TO BUY IT
THIS
[laughter]
CAN I BUY 100?
[cheers and applause]
NO
- YEAH.
SO YOU WOULD--
SO THE JINGLE SAYS, "CAN I BUY 100?"
SO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE GOOD FOR PEOPLE TO HAVE
MAYBE 100 OF THESE.
- OR YOU CAN JUST HAVE ONE.
[laughter]
- WHEN YOU PUT THEM IN YOUR MOUTH, WHAT DO YOU--
WHAT DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU PUT THEM IN YOUR MOUTH?
- UM...
SATISFACTION.
[laughter and applause]
- YOU KNOW, A LOT OF CELEBRITIES OWN THESE.
WHAT CELEBRITIES WOULD YOU SAY OWN THESE?
- CHANNING TATUM, I KNOW FOR A FACT...
[laughter]
OWNS THIS.
- HE FOR SURE DOES?
- YEAH. - UH-HUH.
- YEAH. - YEAH.
- AND HIS UNCLE DOES. - UH-HUH.
[chuckles]
- AND THE GREAT THING IS,
IT'S EASILY STORED UNDER YOUR PILLOW.
[laughter]
- ALL RIGHT.
[cheers and applause]
DO YOU-- WHEN YOU'RE KISSING--
WOULD YOU SAY BEST TO HAVE IT WHEN YOU'RE KISSING
OR NOT HAVE IT WHEN YOU'RE KISSING?
- I WOULDN'T. - NO.
[laughter]
NO. ALL RIGHT.
- [chuckles]
- WHAT WOULD YOU THINK COULD GET STUCK IN THEM?
- TAMPONS?
[laughter]
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS.
SHOULD I-- OH.
[laughing]
[bell dinging]
[cheers and applause]
- YOU DON'T WANT TAMPONS THERE.
NO.
ALL RIGHT.
- OH. - OH, YEAH.
- MY UNCLE REALLY COULD USE THESE.
- YEAH. YEAH, SEE?