Hey guys!
Before we start this compilation,
a message from our sponsor.
Hey Joe.
Good Lord!
You’re gonna have to update my name in the credits of this next video
because I am now officially a Lady.
What were you before?
No - I mean a Lady, as in a Scottish landowner!
Thanks to “Established Titles”!
You can purchase a Title Pack from them
and you get to own at least one square foot of dedicated land
on a private estate in Eddleston, Scotland!
And courtesy of that one square foot, you can officially change your name to Lord or Lady?
Yes!
And I can get that on my credit cards, plane tickets... even my dating profile?
Well, you don’t have a dating profile because you’re happily married to me
but yes to the others
and yes to that too for anyone with a dating profile.
Am I correct in assuming that each Title Pack comes with an official certificate with a crest
and a unique plot number with which you can see the exact location of your land?
You assume exactly enough.
Check out this beauty!
Legit much?
It’s a great last minute gift for your loved ones.
Speaking of which, happy birthday!
I got us a joint plot.
What?! My birthday was ten months ago.
And get this: They plant a tree with every order,
and they work with global charities One Tree Planted and Trees for the Future
to help support global reforestation efforts.
I love trees!
Established Titles is actually running a massive sale.
Plus, if you use the code ARTSPEAR10, you'll get an additional 10% off.
Just head over to EstablishedTitles.com/ARTSPEAR10
to get your gifts now and help support the channel.
Hey, I just got a text from Established Titles!
Apparently the first 200 people purchasing a title pack from that link
will effectively be next to our plot, or within walking distance.
We could have our own little ArtSpear Kingdom!
In Eddleston!
"Lord Bauer".
You don’t have to be an evil Lord.
Yeah you’re right.
Lord Bauer, at yer service!
I own square footage in Scotland, lassie!
You don’t have to be whatever that was either.
I’m gonna get one too!
“Lord Spider-Man” is gonna majorly boost my dating profile!
Don’t you have a compilation starting now?
Oh yeah!
Sup, guys.
Wait a minute. You guys aren’t the real Avengers!
What the hell??
Parker, I thought I told you to stay home tonight.
Why are you guys robbing ATMs??
Avenging doesn’t pay as well as we were led to believe, kid.
I’ve got gambling debts.
Well this is super awkward for me, cos now I gotta arrest you guys.
I should not have laughed.
I realise that now.
I am going on vacation!
Whoa!
OW!!!
Peter Parker here to pick up a passport, a package, a parcel
and a peck of pickled peppers for Pepper Potts please?
Pick up for Peter Pecker from Parker Potts:
a package, passport, a parcel and pickled pepper peck. Priority.
I know I say this every trip,
but this is the last time I fly economy.
Sorry sir. All we have left is the fish.
Well, what a surprise.
Dude, you just damaged 500 bucks worth of Lego!
You’re the Spider-Man.
No, I’m not.
You were on the ceiling!
Was I?
Or was it you who was on the ceiling?
And have been your whole life?
You just blew my mind.
MJ, I...
Am Spider-Man?
W-w-what?
That’s crazy!
W- Wh- Why would you even think that??
Well, you sound exactly like him.
Uh...
Whatever city you’re visiting, he also happens to be in town.
Er...
Your Aunt organises his charity work.
Uh...
Your last Halloween costume was a little too convincing,
especially when you webbed up that prowler.
Um...
But today, I’d say it’s mainly the pants.
It’s not what you think!
We did a swap!
A pants swap!
It’s a thing guys do sometimes!
You’ll see!
Next time you see Spider-Man,
he’ll be wearing my pants!
YOU SEE, MJ?
I TOLD YOU SO!
Gee, I wonder where my friend Peter Parker is right now.
Step one of my fitness challenge:
Inject yourself with a special super-soldier serum.
That’s pretty much it.
Do you know him too?
Stole his shield.
Peter Parker, if you’re watching this, can I please have my shield back?
He’s obviously referring to a different Peter Parker.
Peter Parker from Queens,
AKA The Spider-Man?
Hey, who threw that?
Who is that guy?
It's like Doctor Strange got his head stuck in a fish bowl.
He’s no Spider-Man.
What is it with you and Spider-Man?
You know it’s just Peter in a suit, right?
I told you - we swapped pants!
Does any part of you feel relieved about all this?
What do you mean?
Now that everybody knows, you don’t really have to hide, cheat, steal or lie to people.
OK... Not sure about two of those...
but for the record, I never wanted to lie to you.
But how do you tell someone you’re Spider-Man?
For the record, this was the worst way to tell me!
HAHA!!!
Hola, MJ!
Peter es el hombre araña!
Do you eat flies and small insects?
No.
Marvel as one!
Thanks, Dr. Jones!
You know that bats eat spiders.
I always saw you as more of a fruit bat.
Respect your elders.
Underage!
- What-- Hey! - Yoink!
- Oop- fly's undone. - Oh, god!
- Flat tyre! - Son of a--
- Wedgie! Wet Willy! - Mother-- !
- Nice beard. - You little-- !
- Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself. - D'oh! Oh, so annoying!
It's a webbing dress!
Wassup, y’all? Spider-man 3.0.
Now with robotic eye squinters.
Pretty pimp, huh? They allow me to see much less.
Wait a second. That’s not a good thing.
Why the hell did I install-- HOLY CRUD!
WHERE THE HECK AM I???
I’m Peter by the way.
Doctor Strange.
Oh, we’re using our made-up names.
In that case, I am ...
Professor Queer.
No wait that doesn’t work.
Um ...
I am Professor ...
Unusual ...
But ... Unusual In A Way That Is ...
Mysterious ...
And Dangerous ...
And Attractive ...
To Girls.
PHD.
- Just rolls off the tongue. - Yeah!
This is Mr Beck.
Mysterio. We’re not on a second-name basis yet.
I create-- I mean, I fight - giant elemental monsters.
So far we’ve had Earth ...
I’m only hitting dirt!
That’s what we’re aimin’ for, Hill!
... Water ...
... and Fire.
Well at least we know what’s coming next:
Heart.
What?
And when their powers combin--
This isn’t Captain Planet, kid.
The next one's gonna be Wind.
And it’s gonna take both of us to break it.
Not a problem.
I can break wind in my sleep.
Oh look at this - this is a good one.
“Some suggest that Parker’s powers include the male spider’s ability to hypnotize females.”
That’s ridiculous.
YOU WILL LOVE ME FOR ALL TIME!!!
See? You weren’t even close to being hypnotised.
Oh, that New York Post. They’ll print anything!
“Rorschach’s journal.
Tonight, a window-cleaner died in Gothtropolis.”
“Spider-Man’s journal.
Tonight, I found a missing Mogwai
and one of the city’s most dedicated professionals
was brutally slain in the line of duty.”
Crying spider emoji.
Are you venomous?
I don't think so.
Either I finally hit puberty, or...
Oh my god!
The Chrysler building looks so majestic this morning.
One size fits all.
OH MY GOD!!!
TOO TIGHT!! TOO TIGHT!!!
When Mysterio revealed my identity,
my entire life got royally made love to.
I was wondering if maybe you could make it so that he never did?
Strange!
Don’t cast that spell.
It’s too dangerous.
Fine.
I won’t.
A wink! Nice!
I heard that!
Don’t you dare cast that spell, Strange!
Well now I have to cast two spells because that obviously can’t happen.
If you mated with Black Widow, would she eat you afterwards?
It’d be worth it.
Stay at the outer edge Mr Stark, so you don't get hurt!
Well. Can't get any lower than this.
I’m gonna need the suit back.
But I’m nothing without this suit!
If you’re nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it.
Of all people, dude.
Let’s see how you like it!
I’m Stark naked!
Oh hey, “Iron Spider”.
Mr Stark? What are you wearing?
Well, you stole the last of my iron, so I guess I’m Lycra Spandex Man now.
See this?
That’s on you.
Everywhere I go, I see his face.
Or helmet.
Oh my gosh! It's him!
It’s Toasty Stark!
What have I done?
I'm sorry, Mr Stark!
I don’t want you to go!
The entire world is about to forget that Peter Parker
is Spider-Man and Wong still has a head.
Wait - everyone?
Can’t some people still know?
That’s not how the spell works.
So... MJ’s gonna forget that we’re together and that she popped my cherry?
And now I want to forget so let’s add that in there.
There’s gotta be someone else you can use. What about Thor?
Infiltrating another franchise.
Captain Marvel?
Over in two seconds.
Hulk?
I fired his ass.
- Captain America? - Too old.
- Doctor Strange? - Too weird!
Iron Man!
- Dude! - Oh yeah, he's dead.
Um... Black Wido--
Uh-- Black Panther!
No cats!
Superman!
Wrong studio.
The local authorities and first-response teams?
You know - the people who actually get paid to do this stuff?
“Local authorities?”
Hill! Get a load o' this kid!
That’s really cute, Peter.
I just wanna give him a big hug!
Wow, that was unbelievable!
Thanks for checking out my Best Bits!
It’s “Best Bites”.
No one wants to see your bits.
Oh, sorry! "Bites".
Check out the full videos in "Toon Sandwich - The Full Platter!"
“All our animation in one all-you-can-eat playlist”.
And you know what goes great with sandwiches?
Some shares, a few likes, a sprinkling of comments and a fresh sub.
No cookies, thanks.
Wow. That’s a lot of toppings, Gwen.
It’s a lot to stomach but it really helps the channel.
And if you want to help the channel even more,
1) you’re awesome
2) you can become a Channel Member or support us on Patreon.
Just like these people did.
To anyone who’s done any of those things,
thanks for being so Amazing, Spectacular and Sensational.
And 2099.
That’s not an adjective.
Sorry, I ...
I got confused.
When I get my Lordship, should I change my name to "Lord Spider-Man"
or "Spider-Lord"?
It’s a prefix, so it would have to be "Lord Spider-Man".
Oh. Yep, that's right.
Also, “Spider-Lord” sounds like the offspring of you and Star-Lord.
Oh, we’d be an unstoppable family of hyphenates!
If it’s a boy,
we’d have to call him Peter Jr.