Today we're talking about parenting during the pandemic, check it out.
[Life in Japan Theme Song]
Well, it's 2021. Parenting has never been an easy job,
But especially during a pandemic, it is very challenging.
And whatever the state of your family was before the pandemic,
The pandemic came, and it just exaggerated whatever was happening.
So if there were problems inside, it exaggerated those problems,
If there were good things happening, it actually kind of strengthened those things.
But today we want to look at how can you live and have a happy family during pandemic.
For you, what was the biggest like change and challenge of parenting here with the pandemic?
Well, I think first of all having the kids home 24 hours a day...
All of a sudden all of us moms instantly became teachers.
It wasn't like a choice to teach our children, we were just kind of tossed into that.
And then having them home...
I mean there's just totally, a totally a different dynamic to having your kids home all the time.
I love summer breaks, I love breaks when my kids are home,
But one thing I find totally interesting when my kids are home is
We eat lunch — let's just pretend like we eat at noon.
They finish at 12:10
At 12:15 they will come and say "Mom, we're hungry. What's there to eat?"
I'm like "Seriously?!"
And this was months of this because everyone was stuck at home.
And you're trying to balance healthy eating and healthy routines and school and tons of laundry
Because kids are home all the time, making messes and cleaning house,
Husbands are home with work, it's just...
It was a lot to take in all at once.
But! We made it through.
And there's still more of it here that we're working through now.
I'd say one thing that probably really helped for us too was finding fun things to do together
Like, on purpose, so
Like Becca and Anna like to play Catan, so we'll play Catan with them
Or Joshua and I, we like to play MarioKart
Uh, even the whole family really gets into MarioKart.
And Uno. And Uno!
Making purposeful times with the family together.
I think establishing a healthy routine is very important.
Because then you get used to that,
It helps you manage your day a little more instead of just wondering
"Well what am I going to do now? What am I going to do now?"
Well now it's time for this.
Because we still had work to do
It wasn't like we were all just on vacation for months,
And the kids still had school, so they had their school time,
Then meal time, then play time and study time,
We just had to figure out a routine that worked with us all being in the house at the same time.
Joshua!
Awww!
Sarah we came to pick you up!
Hey Sarah, how was school today? Good.
I missed you so much, Sarah.
Another thing I think was very helpful was establishing healthy eating patterns.
Because if I let my kids raid the fridge and feed themselves, Oh gosh
They would be eating cereal and chocolate and bread.
My kids love bread. Oh, and white rice.
Plain rice. Just rice. Sarah would ask for it with a little shyoyu, soy sauce.
During this whole time we started experimenting with healthier options like whole grain rice and more vegetables
And more baked things, not fried,
And just introducing them to new things
Like different soups and foods that are healthy but fun
But not just junk.
It's amazing — eating healthy helps you have the right type of energy
You don't go on these highs and lows.
Sugar high and then you fall and you drop and you're cranky.
And it would fill them up so they're not begging for food every 5 minutes.
So a lot of people comment, they're like "What a beautiful, wonderful family! You guys look perfect."
So... are we perfect?
All the time!
Do you see my halo?
We definitely have had our moments, especially during the pandemic, has brought it out
When you're with each other all the time Yeah
And our house is much smaller than the house we had either in the States or in Brazil,
So you're in each others' business all the time
What— how have we kind of dealt with that?
When someone's got a little upset or when the kids need to be alone or one of us...
Needs to be alone. Well at one point we said "Well the car's available."
If anyone needs some alone time, you can just go sit in the car a little bit.
And actually I do that, don't I?
He does that every morning, he goes...
I'll go get in the car and go for a little drive to a park I really like
And it's the perfect time to kind of, like, just stretch out a little bit.
So you know a lot of things that really helped me was having close friends that I could call up
I would call up my mom,
I'd call up my sisters, I had other friends that I was texting,
And just getting advice and encouragement
Or just complaining a little to someone who understood what I was going through.
And having that support system really, really is helpful.
Not only during a pandemic, but anytime
Because raising children is not something that we just all know the answers to, you know?
Seeking advice from our parents and our grandparents or older ladies...
We have a lot of wise ladies in our church that we can—that I like to seek advice from
I think it's very important to, if you don't know what to do, if you don't know the answer, to find someone who can help you.
And don't feel ashamed to open up about something that maybe you feel like is embarrassing
Because chances are somebody else is also struggling with the same thing,
Wondering how to keep their kids in line, or keep them entertained or just to keep a happy family atmosphere.
A healthy family atmosphere really does take work
And you got to be intentional about it
It just doesn't happen by accident.
One thing that we always do too is every evening we have family devotion time
Where we read the verse of the day from the Bible
And we take turns praying — praying for people that are sick or for our family
And also we like to dance!
I'm sure you've seen in previous videos, we do a lot of dancing in our house.
And we turn on a good Christian upbeat song
And the kids dance, it helps them get their energy out,
But also gives them positive energy because it's exciting, we're praising Jesus, and it's something good that we can do.
So it's amazing, if you're depressed or sad or down, if you start dancing and have happy music on
It really does change the atmosphere
We found things that really helped us day by day, and still today
I try not to let the girls play on the Switch or do any electronic games before they go to school
It seems like it puts them in a bad mood to want to leave for school.
So before school we turn on music,
Or we can watch Bible stories online,
But no gaming, no... phone
A lot of times they'll do artistic things and that's when they'll start drawing things
Or Sarah makes all these origami things that are just amazing
Yeah It's like my goodness!
(Singing) Whatcha making Sarah, Sarah Sarah Bear-ah, Sarah Bear-a?
Whatcha making? Let me see! I'm making a dog.
A dog? From Origami? Yea.
How do you know how to do this?
It's my teacher. The teacher at school?
Aw, that's so cute.
Because let me tell you what,
Turning on the tv and leaving that as your babysitter is a lot easier than
Me personally spending time with them and investing in them
But, it's those times that they're going to remember
When they grow up, are they going to be like "yea, my mom just let me watch tv whenever I wanted"
Or are they going to be like "Oh yea, my mom played games with me, or she taught me how to make a recipe"
Or she taught me how to sow
Those are the things that are going to be positive memories
That we want them to then pass on to their children and grandkids.
So I like the little post it note that you have on your computer
Do you want to share what it says?
I think it says "Be the mom you want your kids to remember"
It just goes along with what you're saying
I have to put in reminders for me to have a positive attitude
It's a work in... I'm a work in progress.
Even with a healthy family, it starts with a healthy marriage too
And although I don't feel like our marriage is perfect yet,
I do feel we have a lot of love and understanding
And working with each others strengths and weaknesses
I have plenty of my own weaknesses!
How do we go about that?
Well, we used to always look forward to when our parents would come,
Either set, because they would help watch the kids so we could go out on dates
Because until now, well Joshua just turned 5
But before he was just too young to hardly leave with random people
This last year, you know, with all our families not being able to come visit,
It's been extra stressful — I mean not stressful, but
We haven't been able to really take time away, just the two of us
So for those first months we were just all stuck together in a house,
What is going on?!
Mommy put a tent up for us.
Chillin' in your tent.
So it's hard to just be Nate and I
And then as soon as schools went back, I went back to school
So I was studying in Shinjuku for 5 hours a day,
And then we'd come home and have housework,
So it was very hard for us to have just alone time.
But you have to just, after the kids go to bed,
Watch something together, or listen to something or try to hang out a little bit
Except that, come 9:00 at night, I am not much good at anything.
What would you say to somebody who is watching and like
"Wow- you know, that's great for you guys, but my family is a mess and I've screwed up."
What about that person?
Well, it's never too late to start trying and start investing in your family
If your marriage is in shambles, start there
Seek advice in what areas you should improve on first,
You know, with your children, if you don't hug them or you don't say that you love them,
Those are simple, small things you can do that will make a huge difference in their life
Because kids need that affection, they need that love, they need that physical touch
And I think that is very, very important
Keep an eye on who your kids friends are
Because they will be highly influenced by their friends
We always tell the girls, because they go out and play with their friends
That we want them to influence their friends in positive ways
and never have their friends influence them negatively
I think it's very important for us as parents, as mothers
To keep an eye on what friendships our kids are developing.
In a future video we want to do questions and answers,
So if you have any specific questions
Maybe it's about parenting or families
Or maybe it's something fun like "Hey, have you ever gone to this place? Or tried this?"
Whatever it might be, feel free to post your questions down here
And in a couple of weeks we'd like to respond to some of those
Is there anything else that you would add at all?
Well, if they have any questions about our kids,
For our kids —you know— if you would like to ask Becca or Anna, Sarah or Joshua anything
Please write it in the comments and then we'll do a video in the future
and sit them down and see what their answer are to your questions.
Could be very interesting. Yeah, it could.
Well we're so thankful for each and every one of you that has been watching us and following us
If you haven't subscribed yet, please do so, it really does help this channel grow
And we appreciate you guys so much
And until next time, we'll see you on Life in Japan
Bye bye! bye.