- Hey everybody, today we're going to talk about attachment
and how it's related to trauma.
But first, are you new to my channel?
Welcome!
Make sure you are subscribed and have those notifications
turned on because I put out videos on Mondays
and on Thursdays, and I don't want you to miss out.
But let's talk about attachment and trauma.
Now in past videos, I've talked about attachment styles
and Reactive Attachment Disorder,
and you can click the links in the description
to learn more about those specific topics,
but today we're going to talk about trauma,
and how, or why, it's linked to attachment issues.
All attachment disorders fall under the DSM umbrella,
or chapter, called Trauma and Stressor-Related Disorders,
meaning that attachment issues are most often caused
by trauma or stress in childhood.
And this umbrella also covers Reactive Attachment Disorder,
Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder,
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD,
Acute Stress Disorder, and Adjustment Disorders.
They also place this particular chapter near anxiety
disorders, OCD and related disorders,
and dissociative disorders because they believe
that there is a really close relationship
between all of the diagnoses in each of those chapters.
As you know, everyone is going to express their trauma
and stress-related disorders differently.
Some convey their upset through being reactive,
lashing out, crying frequently, whereas others may
internalize their upset, withdraw from those around them,
and prefer to be alone.
Or, some of us will even have a mix of the two.
And that's why the diagnoses found in this area
showcase all types of struggles, and they even mention
that someone can toggle between multiple diagnoses
within this umbrella depending on how
they're processing the trauma.
And I just think it's kind of cool to note that,
and that that's why they placed this chapter
where they did in the DSM, and that's why there's
all sorts of different diagnoses
that fall under that chapter.
So just something that I thought was important
to talk about.
Now let's get into why trauma and attachment are connected.
Now attachment is defined as the emotional bond
that is formed between objects in order to establish
a sense of security and safety.
And although attachment begins in infancy,
the need for attachment relationships as a whole
continues throughout our entire life.
Meaning that once we have a safe and secure attachment
to our mother, or primary caregiver, we will also seek out
friends, and other family members to support us
and help us figure out who we truly are.
Even if we are traumatized, having a safe and secure
attachment to many caregivers in our life
can help us be more resilient and balanced
in order to overcome the trauma more quickly.
Meaning that if we have a lot of people that we can
rely on to support us, that's gonna really help us
fight through the trauma and move past it.
That, in a nutshell, is why attachment is linked to trauma.
When we are children and something scary happens,
we run to the person or persons who can make us feel safe
and secure, and having that secure and healthy attachment
to a caregiver gives us that safe place.
But if we never have that connection, we don't even know
where we can go to feel safe.
And in turn, the world can become a very terrifying place.
Many of my patients who grew up with
an emotionally neglectful or abusive mother or father,
have reported that when something scary happened,
they found themselves frozen, unable to move
or fight their way out of it.
And we know from research that children who had
disorganized attachment tend to freeze when upset
rather than go to anyone for comfort,
really because no one's ever been comforting.
Being in that frozen state
leaves us more vulnerable to trauma.
If we're unable to fight or run away from a scary,
or potentially harmful situation, we could get hurt, right?
We also find that since we haven't been continually
comforted when we needed to be, that we can struggle
to see happy endings in life,
looking at many situations as hopeless,
or ending in pain, which I hypothesize could be
why working through a trauma can be so hard,
and often feel really hopeless.
Also, how can we be expected to keep working on something
when we can't see it ever getting better?
And I know I say this all the time, but this is why
I love what I do.
You all challenge me to better understand things,
and in turn, make me a much better therapist.
I also want to add in, because when I was researching this
I came across an article about how repeated trauma
could affect our attachment, and they found that
even if our primary caregiver is there for us
and we healthily attach, if we were then subjected
to repeated trauma at the hands of someone else,
not our caregiver, we can feel that no one
or nowhere is safe.
And in essence, we'll exhibit all of the symptoms
of someone who never had that healthy attachment.
Just something to keep in mind because attachment issues
can be exacerbated by trauma or even created by it.
I just want to take a second to let you absorb that.
That attachment issues can be exacerbated,
mean made worse by trauma, or created by it.
Just something to consider.
Also I want to talk a little bit about big t's
versus little t's.
Meaning that we can have a big trauma, or a big t
instance, or a bunch of small traumas,
and they both affect us.
But we need to consider how it felt for us
at that time in our life.
And what I mean by this is if we were four years old
at the time, and that's when that little t, or trauma,
happened, we could look back as an adult and think,
eh, it wasn't that big of a deal.
It really wasn't that scary.
I mean, think about it, and consider it from
an adult perspective.
But when we were four it was a huge and scary deal to us.
So just consider how things felt for you at that moment,
the very moment that they occurred,
and do your best not to pass judgment on yourself
for being upset at something that maybe doesn't
seem like that big of a deal now.
I know that's a lot of information to take in,
but I hope that it just helps you better understand
the link between trauma and attachment.
In a way, not having a healthy attachment
can leave us more vulnerable to trauma,
and being traumatized can affect our ability
to feel connected and safe with our primary caregivers.
This video has been brought to you
by the Kinions on Patreon.
If you would like to support the creation
of these mental health videos, click the link
in the description and check it out.
So I just hope that all that information
is clear and makes sense.
And most importantly, I want to hear from you.
Do you feel that these two are linked?
What's been your experience?
Please share in those comments down below
and we'll keep working together
towards a healthy mind, and a healthy body,
and I will see you next time.
Bye.