MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM "BLUE BLOODS," "THE
PROPOSAL," AND "THE DAILY SHOW."
HE NOW STARS IN "EVIL" ON CBS.
PLEASE WELCOME AASIF MANDVI!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE LOOKING FIT AS A FIDDLE.
>> FIT AS A FIDDLE.
I AM.
THANK YOU, I FEEL FIT AS A FIDDLE.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE THIS FEELING, BUT I
FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU BETTER THAN I DO BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE WE
OVERLAP.
>> YEAH, BECAUSE WE SAW EACH OTHER --
>> Stephen: ALL THE TIME.
ACROSS THE BUFFET LINE SOMETIMES.
>> Stephen: BETWEEN THE TWO SHOWS EVER SO OFTEN, BUT WE
NEVER ACTUALLY OVERLAPPED.
>> NO, WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY OVERLAP.
BUT I DID ACTUALLY COME TO YOUR OFFICE WHEN I FIRST STARTED ON
THE DAILY SHOW.
"THE DAILY SHOW" PEOPLE SENT ME TO COME VISIT YOU BECAUSE I WAS
GOING OUT TO DO MY FIRST FIELD PIECE AND THEY SAID, YOU KNOW,
STEPHEN COLBERT IS THE MASTER AND YOU MUST GO AND LEARN FROM
THE MASTER.
>> Stephen: DID I YODA YOU AT ALL?
>> YOU DID, YOU HAD THE BIG GREEN EARS.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU SAID I'LL GIVE YOU THREE
PIECES OF ADVICE.
ALWAYS FIND THREE THINGS THAT ARE FUNNY --
>> Stephen: ABOUT THE PIECE.
-- ABOUT THE PIECE, YEAH.
DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE SILENCE.
( LAUGHTER ) AND WHEN YOU PUT A CAMERA IN
SOMEONE'S FACE, THEY GET A LOBOTOMY, WHICH I THOUGHT WAS
THE MOST BRILLIANT ADVICE I'D EVER GOTTEN.
>> Stephen: WHEN YOU POINT A CAMERA AT SOMEBODY, THEIR I.Q.
GOES DOWN ABOUT 45 POINTS.
JUST KNOW THAT.
THAT'S WHY YOU LET THE SILENCE FALL DURING A FIELD PIECE
BECAUSE THEY CAN'T STAND THE SILENCE AND THEY WILL FILL IT
WITH THE TRUTH.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: 100% TRUE.
JUST DON'T BE THE FIRST ONE TO BLINK.
WOW.
>> AND IT HAPPENED MANY, MANY TIMES I SAW THAT HAPPEN.
>> Stephen: IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GO DO
A PIECE FOR "THE DAILY SHOW," AT LEAST BACK IN THE DAY, BECAUSE
PEOPLE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOUR STORY WAS ABOUT, THEY ONLY KNEW
THAT THEY WERE IN THE STORY.
>> YES, EXACTLY.
>> Stephen: AND OFTEN THERE WOULD BE A WHOLE OTHER FRAMEWORK
FOR THE STORY.
WERE THERE EVER TIMES WHEN YOU FOUND YOURSELF IN A SITUATION
AND YOU JUST THOUGHT, I'M JUST DOING SILLY COMEDY, AND THE
PEOPLE GOT VERY UPSET WITH YOU?
>> ONE TIME I WAS IN BOISE, IDAHO.
>> Stephen: QUALITY TOWN.
YES, AND THEY WERE HAVING A PROBLEM WITH FISH IN THE RIVER
AND POLLUTION, AND THEY WERE SEEING THESE --
>> Stephen: IS THAT WHAT THIS IS.
>> -- TWO-HEADED FISH IN THE RIVER.
>> Stephen: SOMEONE GAVE ME A PHOTO.
IS THAT WHAT THIS IS?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: TELL ME WHEN I SHOW IT.
>> SO I GO TO BOISE, IDAHO, WE'RE DOING A SHOW ABOUT FISH IN
THE RIVER AND I DRESS UP AS A TWO-HEADED FISH.
( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S MY HEAD.
THAT'S THE FAKE HEAD, JUST TO CLARIFY.
THAT'S THE FAKE HEAD, THAT'S MY HEAD.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
AND I WALK IN WITH MY PRODUCER, BRENNAN, AND THE FILM
CREW, AND WE WALK IN TO THE E.P.A. OFFICES --
>> Stephen: IN BOISE, IDAHO.
IN BOISE, IDAHO, TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE TWO-HEADED FISH IN THE
RIVER.
AND A VERY NICE GENTLEMAN WALKS OUT OF THE BACK OFFICE, PROBABLY
THE MANAGER OR SOMEBODY, AND HE SAID YOU CAN'T BE HERE, YOU'VE
GOT TO LEAVE.
AND I SAID, WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO?
I LIVE IN THE RIVER, IT'S POLLUTED!
AND I REMEMBER THIS POOR MAN SAYING TO ME, YOU'RE NOT REALLY
A FISH!
YOU'RE A MAN IN A COSTUME!
BUT I WAS COMPLETELY IN CHARACTER, YOU KNOW.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THAIN CALLED THE POLICE, AND
I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE A LOCAL SHERIFF, BUT, NO,
HOMELAND SECURITY SHOWS UP.
( LAUGHTER ) WE'RE WALKING OUT OF THE
BUILDING WITH OUR CREW AND SUDDENLY IT'S LIKE -- IT WAS
LIKE NCIS.
IT WAS LITERALLY LIKE FIVE CARS GOT UP, FIVE GUYS GOT OUT, IT
WAS LIKE HOMELAND SECURITY, AND THEY SEE ME IN A TWO-HEADED FISH
COSTUME AND THEY'RE ABOUT TO TAKE ME IN, AND I'M TRYING TO
EXPLAIN TO HIM, NO, WE'RE WITH "THE DAILY SHOW" -- AND HOMELAND
SECURITY IS GOING, IT'S THE BROWN FACE.
I TRIED TO SAY WE'RE DOING A PIECE FOR TH "THE DAILY SHOW," A
THE GUY SAYS I LOVE JON STEWART.
I SAID LET ME GET HIM ON THE PHONE AND YOU CAN TALK TO HIM.
I DON'T HAVE JON STEWART, I'M JUST SCROLLING THROUGH MY PHONE
TRYING TO GET A FRIEND TO DO A JON STEWART IMPRESSION.
>> Stephen: DID THEY LET YOU GO?
>> THEY FINALLY DID.
IT TOOK SOME TALKING.
>> Stephen: I'VE GOT TO SAY, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A HELL OF A
MUG SHOT.
>> YES, I KNOW!
WELL, IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ME IN PRISON IN THAT
COSTUME, I MEAN, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: OKAY, NEW CBS SHOW.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHEN DOES IT START?
>> THE 26th OF SEPTEMBER.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
IT'S CALLED "EVIL."
>> "EVIL."
>> Stephen: IT DIPS INTO THE SUPERNATURAL, GHOSTS, DEMONS,
EXORCISMS, AND YOU PLAY, LIKE, A SKEPTIC ON THIS?
>> I PLAY, LIKE, A GUY WHO IS A DEBUNKER.
I'M GOING TO FIGURE OUT WHY IT IS NOT PARANORMAL AND YOU CAN
EXPLAIN THE STUFF.
>> Stephen: BUT THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE TEAM --
>> WE HAVE ONE MEMBER WHO IS A SKEPTIC, A TRUE BELIEVER, AND
I'M THE GUY WHO WILL FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS.
>> Stephen: DO YOU PERSONALLY AASIF MANDVI BELIEVE IN GHOSTS
OR THE SUPERNATURAL?
>> I WILL SAY THIS, I HAVE MORE BELIEF IN THE IDEA THAT THERE
ARE THINGS OUTSIDE OF OUR UNDERSTANDING AND BEYOND WHAT WE
CAN SEE, TOUCH, FEEL, SMELL -- >> Stephen: EVER SEEN A GHOST?
I HAVEN'T, BUT I WAS IN A HOTEL ONCE IN AUSTIN, TEXAS,
WHERE THEY HAVE -- THIS HOTEL WAS HAUNTED, AND I KNOW THIS
BECAUSE THEY HAVE A REGISTRY AT THE FRONT OF THE HOTEL WHERE YOU
CAN TELL THEM IF YOU SAW A GHOST, AND THEY WILL WRITE IT
INTO THEIR REGISTRY, AND IT GOES BACK, LIKE, 200 YEARS.
FROM THE 1800s.
SO THEY'RE, LIKE, PLEASE WELCOME TO THE HOTEL AND PLEASE COME
BACK AND TELL US IF YOU SEE A GHOST.
>> Stephen: DO YOU GET A DISCOUNT?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: FREE BUFFET IF YOU ( BLEEP ) YOUR PANTS IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?
( LAUGHTER ) >> SO I ENDED UP, I WAS THEN
DATING MY NOW WIFE, AND I ENDED UP BEING SO TERRIFIED THAT I
CALLED HER AT 1:00 IN THE MORNING -- THIS IS A WOMAN I
JUST RECENTLY STARTED DATING -- AND I SAID, LISTEN, YOU HAVE TO
STAY WITH ME ON THE PHONE BECAUSE MY LAMP IS FLICKERING
ACROSS THE ROOM AND I AM CONVINCED -- SHE WAS, LIKE,
MAYBE IT'S JUST GOT A FAULTY CIRCUIT.
AND I WAS, LIKE, NO!
IT IS A GHOST!
AND I WAS CONVINCED.
I KEPT HER ON THE PHONE WITH ME TILL 5:00 IN THE MORNING, BUT
SHE MARRIED ME, SO IT'S FINE.
>> Stephen: AWESOME.
AASIF, NICE SEEING YOU.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE!
"EVIL" PREMIERES NEXT THURSDAY AT 10:00 PM ON CBS!
AASIF MANDVI, EVERYBODY!