Hi, Billy Mays here!
SHUT UP!
Sh! Please, just shut up, Billy Mays, please!
Previously on Smosh...
Are you Billy Mays?
No. Well... Actually, yes, I am Billy Mays as a matter a fact.
(Groans)
Hello, Billy Mays.
What is this? Is this some kind of test?
Shut up your face.
We're gonna need you to do something for us.
(On The TV): We now return to desperate housewife.
Finally.
(On The TV): Right after this breaking news.
Dang it!
(On The TV): Famous TV personality Billy mays has been
kidnapped by a group of terrorists.
This video just came in moments ago.
Hi. Billy Mays here.
These people have agreed to let me go
in exchange for 30 million dollars,
(Ian Anthony?) and 5,000 cases of OxiClean.
Please come quick!
They'll only give me food from burger boys, and it really sucks.
And the burger boys they go to ran out of spongebob toys.
PLEASE COME QUICK!
SHUT UP YOUR FACE!
Now tenis our secrets!
What secret?!
You'll secret to imformercial success!
AH!
Wait, Willie. Stop hitting him.
I'm- I'm sorry, sir.
Do you need a timeout?
Do I need to put you in the corner what do I have to do
to get you to stop hitting Billy Mays in the face?
Uh, I'm just going to go over there, and you could take of it, okay?
Wonderful.
Now tell us a secret!
There is no secret! I just do what I'm told!
Old Bucky! You're Billy freaking Mays!
Computer, analyze the video and tell me what
kind of place this could be.
(On The Computer): Room consists mostly of concrete,
and other hard materials.
Constructed around the time of 1960.
Building is most likely a warehouse
or other sort of industrial building.
I need to resort the door, sir.
But if you're not going to tell me what I need to know,
I'm not gonna be easy at you.
(On The TV ): And now back to the hills.
Oh my god. Like he still love him.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Okay, so Anthony mentioned that all he buys burger boys,
so that means there has to be one nearby.
So computer.
Of the 30 warehouses that you found, show ones that are
within a two miles radius of burger boys.
Okay. Now narrow it down to the ones without spongebob toys.
(On The Computer): Okay, I may be a computer,
but how the hell am I supposed to do that?
I don't know. Your super computer. Just call them.
(On The Computer): You do it.
I don't want to do it.
(On The Computer): Ian?
What?
(On The Computer): You're being a bitch.
Fine, I'll call the damn stores, and ask them.
(On The TV): Hey don't go anywhere. There's still
lots of more episodes of the hills.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I CAN'T WATCH IT!
So does our neighbor talking, and we don't think that guys Billy Mays.
Don't be an idiot. Of course is Billy Mays.
Look.
See that? There's nothing like him.
Okay, fine. It's not.
I'm sorry, man.
I feel like such an idiot. Are we cool?
Am I free to go?
Yeah.
And uh, you want to ride home? Maybe we'll stop at burger boys or?
Yes. Big your Tuesday really good stuff.
Sir!
Yes?
Someone just arrived at the warehouse.
Better prepared to be hard.
You stay right here.
Tell them in on themselves of be prepared.
Yes sir.
(Fighting Music starts to play)
Save your first, Ponco.
(Gun Shots in Slow-Motion)
Sir, are you dead?
No. Those darts are hecka bad.
Hey dude, let's play dead until he's gone,
and he won't hurt us anymore.
Yeah. I'll go first.
(Grunts)
(Faints as head down)
(Door Pound Open)
AH!
(Screams)
Put the gun down there kitchen.
I don't think you understand.
YOU DON'T F**K WITH MY BEST FRIEND!
(Gun Shot)
(Screams)
MY ARM!
(Screams)
You alright?
Is there any...
Billy, Billy.
My god you're okay.
Who are you?
I'm Cole your manager.
Jeez. Those terrorists must really screwed with your brian.
I am NOT Billy Mays. Why does everyone think I'm-
Alright, enough with the chit-chat.
You're late for your commercial shoot.
Come on. Let's go.
Commercial?
But- but-
Whatever.
Hi. Billy Mays here.
Have you ever had trouble going number two?
Well, I have just product for you. It's called...
The easy poop!
Wow!