hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about why you should stop
burying your emotions now let's begin number one separation from reality what do you do when you
come across something that you can't handle most people take all that frustration and confusion and
they bury it deep down as deep as they possibly can now the idea behind it simple if you push your
feelings down far enough then you won't feel them anymore but psychologically that's not really how
it works imagine you're worried about something like fitting in but you don't want to admit you
care what other people think of you so what do you do you bury your emotions right but you need a set
of special tools just to keep those emotions stuck in the back of your mind otherwise they'll pop
right back to the surface those special tools are called psychological defense mechanisms
you might know the more popular ones like denial displacement and regression but there are actually
dozens more each one offers you a chance to avoid your feelings or change them into something else
but those defense mechanisms push you further and further away from reality so if we go back to our
example you might project all that self-doubt onto someone else you might criticize them for
trying too hard or worrying too much deep down you're the one who's insecure or self-conscious
but those defense mechanisms stop you from saying things the way they really are number two lighting
your fire when you bury your emotions it doesn't just affect your mental states it slows your life
down to a crawl people who are out of touch with their feelings miss out on all the good that your
emotions do for you you don't get that fiery passion that excites and motivates you or the
frustration that makes you driven and competitive without those feelings your life can start to feel
stale your work becomes tedious your problems are left unsolved and you're less productive because
frankly you just don't care as much many people get so wrapped up in the negative side of our
emotions that they forget about all the positives you might forget how much passion and excitement
your emotions bring into your life but here's the beautiful thing about your feelings the smallest
spark can light the brightest fire in other words if you get in touch with that passion it
can snowball into lifelong satisfaction so don't let your emotions sit below the surface any longer
learn more about your feelings and figure out what lights your fire number 3 stiff as a board life is
full of terrifying changes as a toddler you were thrown from your parents arms into this strange
and unfamiliar world called school as a teenager you ran face-first into the hormone filled chaos
of adolescence and then there's going off to college buying your first home and of
course starting your career to survive all these life-altering changes you need one important skill
above all else adaptability adaptability means adjusting to new people and environments each
change brings different expectations so you have to be flexible in the face of adversity you also
have to open yourself up to unique experiences you have to brave the mountains and the valleys
and find ways to flourish no matter how strange everything feels but adaptability doesn't work
without your emotions before you can digest any new environment you need to figure out one thing
how does it make you feel does it make you happy sad scared do you feel like running away do you
feel like you're not ready to be here these are all important questions to ask yourself after
any major change because the quicker you hone in on your feelings the quicker you'll succeed
in this new chapter of your life but what if you suppress your emotions what happens if
you don't let yourself feel the positives and the negatives it's a lot like walking into the ocean
at first you can easily step over the waves but as you get deeper those waves are going to sweep
you off your feet and crash over your head in other words burying your feelings might save
you from a little hardship in the beginning but you're gonna struggle more and more in the long
run a number of studies have shown empirically just how destructive this bad habit can be for
example in 2014 one study looked at the social side effects in college freshmen just like they
expected students who buried their feelings ran into all kinds of problems they lived less stable
lives had less supportive friend groups and were less satisfied overall with their social lives
they were unable to get in touch with their feelings and it was making them inflexible
they weren't adapting to their environment like everyone else so they started to fall behind as
scary and challenging as life can be resist that urge to bury your emotions because when the world
is changing all around you the best thing you can do is open up and embrace it number four a
careless life if you make a habit of suppressing your emotions it's going to take a toll on your
lifestyle each time that you ignore your feelings you'll slowly but surely withdraw into yourself
you'll spend so much time shielding yourself from stress and pain that it'll change your personality
it'll make you more reclusive more self-absorbed and more timid that kind of lifestyle can get
lonely really quick without even realizing it you'll let your social life fall by the wayside
and your passions will gradually slip through your fingers why well because you aren't giving
yourself the chance to care social and personal success depends on your ability to care about
yourself but each time you smother your emotions you care a little bit less number five finding
flags there are two different ways to look at your feelings the first and the most common
says that feelings are motivators they're the deeper reasons why you do the things that you do
you smile because you're happy or you cry because you're sad but some psychologists put a different
spin on your emotions they say that your feelings don't motivate anything instead they're products
of something that's happening within your body if you're feeling worried for example that stress is
like a red flag your brain might be overwhelmed or your body might be hurting somewhere but when
you bury your emotions you miss out on those flags you can't listen to all the messages your body's
trying to send you and that can have a lasting impact on your mental and physical health so
don't let any more red flags go unnoticed by getting in touch with your emotions you
can relieve stress you can get rid of mental clog and take better care of yourself on a daily basis
number six strength and personal bonds who do you think you're hurting by suppressing your emotions
you might think you're protecting yourself and the people around you but you're really not the truth
is on earthing your feelings makes you a better friend and a better partner because your emotions
have a lot of important lessons to teach you as you decipher your complicated feelings you learn
how to have empathy and show compassion because you start recognizing your own feelings and other
people okay just imagine that you're frustrated with a project at work you could bury those
feelings and keep plugging away or you could take a closer look because you might discover something
deeper maybe you're not actually frustrated with that project you might be feeling unfulfilled in
your current career you don't feel like you're living up to your potential so you quit you
embark on a new journey and you find yourself feeling more passionate and motivated than ever
a few months later let's say you meet someone who expresses something similar they're unhappy
with their job they're feeling unfulfilled and you can understand what that's like you can sympathize
because you went through that same kind of struggle and that compassion will bring the
two of you closer together exploring your emotions can work wonders for your personal relationships
because everyone has feelings everyone has dreams wishes and fears but the only way to understand
someone else's feelings is to understand your own number-7 explosive emotions many people who
push down their feelings have explosive tempers they lash out at the most random times getting
furious over small things like chores or even a bad joke but 99% of the time they're angry about
something else entirely there's a limit to how many emotions that you can stuff down imagine
your mind like an empty balloon each time that you stifle your feelings you pump a little bit
more air into your balloon but eventually it's going to get full the sides won't be able to hold
all that air anymore each time your temper flares it's like popping your balloon even though you've
been filling it with air over time it only takes one pump too many to make that balloon burst now
for some people that explosion makes them yell and scream for others it makes them cry or pout either
way explosive emotions can be a huge inconvenience on you and the people in your life these fits can
damage your relationships get in the way of your work and make you do things that you'll ultimately
regret so every so often let some air out of your balloon regularly check in with yourself
about your feelings and that way your emotions won't flare up anytime soon hey thank you for
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