- I thought you were really gonna fall.
(both laugh)
♪ Work this pussy, work this pussy ♪
- I can't believe I'm here.
I'm going to be doing makeup artistry, I can't believe it.
I can't believe what we've done.
(Katya yelling)
I'm gonna flip this (bleep) table.
- I'm gonna flip this table.
- I'm gonna flip this table, and you know what?
One of the legs is gonna stick up, and I'mma sit on it.
Hi, it's me Trixie Mattel.
- And I'm Katya.
- And we are two Queens who like to watch.
- Yes, we love to watch,
and today we have the distinct pleasure
of continuing our tradition of the trilogy
of the "Glow Up" experience,
which is probably my favorite show we've ever done.
- It is!
We're doing season three.
A show where young makeup artists
get to compete for career changing opportunities
in colorful challenges.
- 'Cause it's such rich, delicious, wonderful content.
- And you know, stars are made.
- And broken.
- And broken, and memes are born sometimes.
Cody Choi.
- Cody Choi, more famous than we are.
- Honestly, yeah.
As usual, spoilers ahead,
but honestly, for this type of show
I don't think much will get spoiled for you.
Besides, they're already spoiled
by seeing great makeup artistry on this show all the time.
Period, pooh!
- Ooh, did, oh.
- I threw, I threw the,
I did go too far, I did.
I didn't need to throw the Sour Patch Kid.
Okay, I'll calm down.
(upbeat music)
At this point, this has become a "Glow Up" recap show,
and I'm completely fine with that.
- [Narrator] For the next eight weeks-
- Okay, I mean, you wanna talk glow up?
Season one was not like this, wow.
- Mama, we're about the glow up.
So we're introduced to the contestants
and the brand new host of the series, Maya Jama,
and the contestants are given their very first challenge.
- I can't wait to see how this turns out.
(people squealing)
It's always an interesting mix
of the most beautiful women you've ever seen,
and the most bizarre-looking gay men you've ever seen.
- Yes.
- The iconic Val Garland-
- Val Garland!
- Yes, oh goddamn it I love her so much.
Yes, ding (bleep) dong!
- If you wanna make it in this industry,
you need tough skin.
- [Katya] Tough skin?
- You want smooth skin.
You don't want leather skin.
- "You wanna make it in this industry,
you need to be a baby."
- [Narrator] Val Garland's work has graced style icons-
- She's such a legend, and she's so nice.
- Didn't she share your video for "Ding Dong!"?
- Yes, she was so, I did a song called "Ding Dong!"
and a music video, and she was living.
She was absolutely living. - Wow.
- [Nic] I have my own biodegradable glitter company.
- We're gonna meet Nic,
who has her own biodegradable makeup company.
- Which means that your skin just degrades over time.
- Yeah, which means by the time you get the bag home
from the shop, it's completely, it's compost.
- Yes. - It's just compost.
- [Nic] It just turns someone into-
- That glitter definitely looks like it's biodegrading.
- Actually- - Oh no, no.
She sold me, (bleep).
Okay, I gotta trust the process.
I can't relate, because when I do my makeup,
I look great from the beginning.
- Oh, every step of the way it's like, Cheryl Tiegs,
Susan Sarandon, Elle Macpherson.
- Work, bitch.
Biodegradable glitter is really lit.
- I'm okay on time.
- So the contestants are trying to finish on time,
with their anxiety growing,
and it's time to face the judging panel.
- [Katya] Yeah.
- And as we know from other seasons,
these judges don't let things go.
- No, they're ruthless.
But, and they also give you the fake out.
You know what I mean?
They'll like-
- "That was absolutely, terribly-"
- [Both] "Wonderful!"
(both laugh) - Yes.
Val Garland, until she completes the sentence,
do not unclench.
- I love it.
(pleasant music)
- Oh no! - Oh no.
This is a real emergency.
- This is diarrhea while being rimmed.
(Katya laughs)
Can I just say one more thing?
Have you, how many times in your life have you-
- Diarrhea'ed on a man-
- No, how many times have you had to
take the makeup off and start over?
- Oh, I don't do that.
- Yeah, that's how I feel!
I'm like, "It is what it is, Santa."
- Mama, they're gonna get the ol' Gaga, girl.
It is the point of no return.
I just can't- - Exactly.
- The effort or the energy.
- Can't actually see out of one eye.
- What in the mother (bleep) hell?
- I'm living for what Ryley's done.
(Trixie laughs) - You know what it is?
It's Donnie Darko, the bunny who has a missing eye.
- Okay. - Meets a snow cone melting.
- It's kind of just giving you a glimpse of who I am.
Yeah, I just hope- - Please help me.
Please be supportive of my dream.
- Okay, Kevin Bacon in "Hollow Man" going to Folsom.
- No, no, this is the guy
who got his face ripped off in "Hellraiser."
(Trixie laughs)
- "I wanna look like I've been mutilated,
but also gay." - Yeah.
"I'm like woke, but totally skinned."
- "Yeah, if you played "Born This Way"
over the movie "Hostel."
- 15 minutes left, guys.
- She's (bleep) stunnin'.
- The last thing I need is a beautiful judge
walking in the room going, "Are you sure about that?"
- Yeah.
Ah, ooh!
- That person does drag for a living.
- Yes, they do.
Ooh!
- Amazing.
- That's incredible. - That's amazing.
- That's incredible!
- It was technically a masterpiece.
- "And I absolutely-
- [Both] hated it."
(Katya laughs)
- This photographed really well.
I think this is successful.
- Do you know what she should've done though,
if we're being honest?
If your real skin is showing,
you should paint it still, skin-colored.
It would've made the edges so clean.
- Or imagine if it was like a brown
that kind of melded into her hair.
- [Alex] My look is based on feral parakeets.
- This serves 'woman who works
at the Clarins counter on Halloween.'
We were all rooting for you.
- I mean, I'm still rooting for her, but shit.
- The lashes- - Rotten, truly rotten.
♪ Gutted, and rotted, and nasty, and skanky ♪
♪ And bootleg, and shitty ♪ - It's so bad.
You know what, if I wanted someone to do my makeup,
I would go to the UK, because these whores put it on.
- Orange lacquer, (bleep) giant liner.
- Blue glitter shadow. - Everything.
- Red gloss lips, daylight.
Overcast day.
You know why I would get kicked out of this competition?
Because every time I would touch that brush to my face,
I'd go up there to get evaluated,
and they'd go, "We're not doing sexy this week."
And I'd be like, (moans)
and just keep giving.
And they're like, "Every time you come out here,
you give me the hugest boner."
- You give, you're always-
- "And this week's challenge was horror."
- "Trixie, you are always serving us
"gang bang ready bimbo slut-
- "Bimbo slut bukkake group scenes.
Stepdad group scene."
- Would you go on this show?
- I would like to go guest judge.
- Yeah, yeah, that's true.
I need to see the Trixie challenge,
because that would send people,
like that would send 'em into the microwave.
- Hello! - Hello, I love it-
- All right, so now we're gonna see Maya do a walkthrough,
and the contestants are gonna tell Maya
what their looks are about for this ballroom theme.
- Whatever feels right inside of that-
- Ooh, oh, Maya has a square, long square manicure, oh!
So hot!
'90s, lesbian, pornography.
- It's Shannon Tweed in "Illicit Confessions."
- It's so good.
- Jenna Jameson in (bleep)-
- Jenna Jameson. - Jenna Jameson.
- Of my art, I'd be happy.
(Trixie gasps)
- [Trixie] Okay, that is beautiful.
- Tracing. - Wow, wow!
Ah, that's giving me like a heart attack, oh!
- [Katya] Oh, black glitter! - I hate that, I hate that!
- Black glitter is so not wearable.
- It's not, it doesn't even look shiny.
- [Man] That's gonna catch the light really, really nicely.
(Katya groaning)
- I feel so bad!
- We have to just-
- I mean, listen, we don't claim to be better.
I don't claim to be able to do better than them.
- No, I'm being, I'm being just honest and ruthless
in my critical observations.
Never with the assumption that I could do a better job,
or I mean, sometimes I could, I think,
but you know, probably not.
- Probably not, probably not.
- Thanks everyone.
- So this is the final ballroom look,
and they're gonna present it in front of the judges.
I know about ballroom.
Why do you think I wear so many long dresses?
I need a little "ball room."
Okay, okay.
- I have no ball room, which is why my penis
feels like it's being stretched
through a meat grinder right now.
- Did you, yeah, it's-
- I tucked and I don't know why.
- Yeah, it's not good.
Tucking and sitting is not good.
- It's not good.
(Trixie gasps) Oh that's cool.
- Us, us.
Okay, wow.
(both squeal)
(both laugh)
Me doing a scarification ritual
in my fresh new gang I just joined.
That's what this looks like.
- This is one of the most professional looking
bald caps that I've seen.
- Yeah, it's an amazing bald cap.
- It's incredible.
- Samah.
- This, this belongs-
- At the science fair in the third grade.
- Do you know what it also gives? Smoking ad.
What if tar did to your outside
what it does to your insides?
- Totally, yeah.
- This reminds me of the person
who paints a guitar on the chest.
Do you remember that person?
- I will never forget that person.
(Trixie laughs)
- [Trixie] Beautiful model. Let's see what's going on here.
- [Dolli] I was thinking about the taboo subject-
- Oh Mary, that's crayon. - I like it.
- You like that?
- I like it.
- Well- - Oh, Jesus.
Alexa, play "I'm Like a Bird" by Nelly Furtado.
- It's a Jesus poster.
What's this Vincent van Gogh bull (bleep)?
- Vincent van go home.
(Trixie laughs)
- Oh mama, bring it!
Bring it home, baby!
- This is me in my mom's womb, three days late,
pissed that I'm not born yet.
(Katya claps)
- Yeah.
- And what?
Look at her.
- [Katya] I love this, I love this.
- You love it?
- I love- - You know what it is?
When the chemical peel goes too far.
- It's the first sunburn of the year.
It's, you know what I mean?
- Girl, this is my hole after Pride.
And what?
You know what I would do?
I'd be like, the challenge would be a winged liner,
and I'd be like, "Well, I did this
"because my dad was actually killed by my uncle.
"He fell off a cliff by my Uncle Scar.
"And then I went to live in the jungle,
"and then as an adult,
"I came back and reclaimed the throne.
"And I'll never forget what my dad said to me.
"Someday, Simba, everything the light touches
will be yours."
And Val will be like, "Brilliant, babes.
Ding dong."
- And the makeup is just 'hakuna matata,' that's it.
- Now this week was all about expressing yourself.
- The two bottom makeup artists did face off
and they're gonna use the identical twins,
like we've seen before.
But this time, it's a jeweled lip.
- And a jeweled lip can really go awry.
I would never wear a jeweled lip.
You can't even close your mouth.
- No.
- Worked with the pencil,
but both of them took-
- I love that they're whispering,
but standing six inches away, like they can't hear it.
"I think her problem is she's got these big, meaty claws.
"She can't do any precision work
because her hands are so big."
- "And her breath is so bad."
Oh no.
- Wow, gorgeous. - Oh, Elliott snapped.
'Cause they're smaller, I think.
- Oh, no.
- [Trixie] But then there's a free,
there's a free-floating stone.
- No, it's Samah, like it's symmetrical.
- Oh no, you're right.
- Do you know what I mean?
- Love that!
Love the giant magnifying glass, love that.
- This looks like a breakout of glamorous chicken pox,
or like disco pustules.
- Delta and Lambda.
That's what I see right now, it's like, you know?
One's not really better.
One just came before the other.
(Katya laughs)
(upbeat music)
Oh, they're doing like- - TikToks?
- Influencer-y.
- [Katya] Ooh.
- This is me DJ'ing at my house on an edible.
- On five milligrams of a gummy.
- Mary, five milligrams of,
you don't know.
(pleasant music)
(both oohing)
Beautiful.
- I thought she spent a little bit too long on the base.
- That is a thing.
If you spent too much time
at the beginning of the TikTok on your skin,
then the last few steps are (snaps).
A beauty influencer?
If only we had a professional.
- Oh, you're an expert in this regard.
- Well, I don't do this.
This is harder. - You don't do full drama-
- TikTok is harder.
Ooh!
(Trixie gasps) - Ooh.
- Cowgirl. - Cowgirl realness.
- [Trixie] She's one of the girls.
- Oh god, I hate TikTok so much.
- I do too.
I feel so boomer.
Nothing makes me feel more old than this.
- Yeah.
- Because I hate it.
Oh.
- That was a left turn.
- [Trixie] Lotta texture.
- It looks like Pepto Bismol over sandpaper.
No?
- No, no, no, it does. - Yeah.
- Let's show 'em how we would do this if we had to do it.
(upbeat music)
- No, I would be doing facts
like North Korean funeral wailing.
- "12 signs your mom died two years ago."
- Yeah. - "You went to a funeral.
"Hospital bills.
You bought a casket."
- Yeah.
- [Woman] So this is Jack's model.
- Judges offer their feedback in an ASOS beauty challenge,
and they are disappointed. - Disappointed.
- [Woman] Details just aren't strong enough.
- I just don't see much of anything.
- It's just a little too touchable, like it's wet.
It looks wet.
- It looks wet, and also, where are the lashes?
Where's the liner?
- But I mean, this is 99% of what makeup artists
do in the real world.
- I know.
- Samah. - Wow, gorgeous.
Imagine if that's all we had to do
to come walk on this couch and talk about people.
- No.
- But in this scenario, we look like her.
- Oh, okay, okay.
- We're not us doing that.
- I was gonna say, we would be canceled.
- Jesus!
- Could you imagine?
- No. James St. James with Mr. Burns
sitting down to talk to the kids?
- "Hey kids, do you like to watch?"
- "We are two Queens who like to watch."
- [Man] That's amazing.
- [Trixie] Wow.
- Woo, the skin looks really good.
- That eye makeup.
- So the winning MUA is Craig.
(people applauding)
- Wow. - Oh yeah, for sure.
- Girl. - Absolutely flawless.
(Trixie gasps)
- What?
- [Katya] Oh (bleep).
What the (bleep) hell is that (bleep)?
- I mean, that's pretty amazing.
- No, it's horrible.
- I think it's cool.
I mean, when makeup makes your stomach turn like that,
you get that physical response?
That's amazing.
- People tell that to me all the time. The meet and greet.
- [Man] I was inspired by-
- Oh, wait a minute, pause everything right now.
Eating (bleep) at the gig?
- Oh my god. - What?
- This is so gross.
- Every top's nightmare.
- When you're rimming a guy and you realize 15 minutes in
that he's been blowing diarrhea into your face
for the last 10 minutes.
- [Trixie] It's just not much makeup.
- There's no makeup there. - That's the other issue.
Well, and if we're supposed to feel like this person
is gorging themselves to the point of unhealth,
the skin should look sicker.
- Chubby cheeks.
- Yeah, like darker to the eyes.
It's not sick enough.
- Where's the fat?
Where's the fat, fat, fat?
(both laugh)
- Oh my god!
That's when a guy pulls his pants down
and he has a flat ass.
Where's the fat?
- Where's the fat, where's the fat?
- Makeup is hard.
- It's so hard.
- And people don't realize how much work goes into it.
- No shade. I don't want to be a bitch,
or a hater, or a monster, or a nasty woman.
- We don't do that here. - No.
- But? - But.
There are some booboo, booboo looks here.
And if you're a makeup artist, you have looks at the ready.
You have this look, you have this look, you pull it out.
You don't try something new
on this television show for the first time.
- No. - Do you know what I mean?
- Yeah, and that's why, I think, you know,
going too early in your career
could actually hurt your career.
- I've been doing my makeup for 20 years.
I feel like maybe in the last six months,
I'm finally learning how to do it well.
- Mm-hmm.
- Early pictures of me in makeup?
- Booboo the fool?
- These people.
- These, Cody Choi.
- They have no idea.
- Cody Choi.
- If I went on this show when I was two years into drag?
Droopy feather lash, white skin, red streaks.
- No lip. - No lip.
Thin, villainous- - White face.
- It was just horrible.
- I was always really gorgeous.
- Yeah, I've seen pictures.
♪ Say something stupid ♪
- The contestants are gonna make looks
for a pop music video, which should be rather simple.
- Yeah!
- You know, beauty looks? - Pop music, beauty looks.
- Beauty looks. - Fun beauty glossy looks.
Again, I know it's beating a dead horse,
the fact that they just have to
do this makeup and nothing else.
We would have to do the makeup, and then go do that.
- I know, I know. - And then get screamed at.
- And then screamed at,
and then change outfits and go do it again, like yeah.
- That seems like a lot for a pop video.
- That's a lot.
- This is like, art pop or some shit.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well. - It's cool!
- Yeah. - Fierce beyond.
- Okay, all right.
Boomshakalaka.
- I just, I don't wanna be old fashioned,
but none of these are that pretty.
I would go prettier.
- Yeah.
- Go J-Lo, just go J-Lo and add one thing.
- Yeah.
- For your final face off-
- All right, it's the final face off
between the final two,
and they have to do a full beat,
and the winner is revealed.
Big spoilers, people.
(tense music)
Work, bitch. What color would you pick if you had to do it?
- Red. - Red?
- Yep.
- Wow. - Wow.
- [Val] Can we talk about the base?
- "Wow, that's gonna be so hard
to decide who's going to die."
- Just five minutes left now.
- She comes in with a 16 inch waist saying "Hi,
everyone here is ugly. Hurry up."
The way I would treat people if I looked like that.
I mean, look how much of an asshole I am,
and I'm (bleep) gross.
If I was gorgeous? - Oh man.
The way I would talk to men.
I would just be like- - Unbearable.
- I mean, in terms of the one color, Craig hit the,
hit the nail on the head.
- But the Sophie look is more beautiful,
if we're being honest.
Because Sophie did the smokier lash,
which is a little more like, pretty.
They are so different.
I mean, I love this little '80s vibe, love it.
- Yeah.
- Pretty, young, fresh.
Twins are weird.
- Twins are (bleep.) It's like, get your own life.
- Really!
- Stop copying me. - Get your own life!
- Let me be me.
- There can only be one winner.
- "On the table before you, we have two glasses.
"One is a Louisiana sweet tea,
and one is a hot cup of piss."
(Katya laughs)
- And this year's "Glow Up" winner is
(suspenseful music)
Sophie.
- Oh! (people applauding)
I mean, they both did great.
- They did great.
- That look was beautiful, though.
- It was beautiful.
- Plenty of makeup to get excited about,
and plenty of makeup to get confused by.
- Absolutely. - Which I love.
- Yeah, excited about, confused by.
- Yes.
This show has everything.
- We've got freckles, moles, skin grafts, scars.
- Val Garland, wigs, British people, cloudy days.
- Hair. - Gays.
- [Both] "Boomshakalaka."
- And "Ding dong." - Yeah.
- Check out season three of "Glow Up" on Netflick.
Bye! - Goodbye.
(Katya smooching)
- Goodbye.
(Katya growls)
(upbeat music)