Ah, by the way.
Um, can I ask you a quick question before I start?
Ugh!
Ow!
Better not!
What should I get Trina?
Talent.
Oh. Jade is so pretty.
Three, two, one.
I just wanted you to have a dog because I know you’ve
talked about getting one ever since I met you, and I thought that maybe...
You love me again?
Who said I stopped?
What up with the disco?!
I’m sorry. I hit the wrong thing!
No! Fifteen years ago, your mother gave birth to the wrong thing!
Beck and I are not splitsville!
- Well… - Is there something you wanna talk about?
Kidding.
Jade never sweats.
- What do you mean, she never sweats? - Sweating is gross, so I don’t do it.
So what? You're just like, cold blooded?
Jade, cold blooded?
Hmmm. What a surprise.
- Your girlfriend’s pretty. - I know.
- Bye. - See ya.
Wow, Jade.
Looks like you got some competition there.
- You gonna say you’re sorry? - You didn’t tell me she was nine.
- Where are you going? - Anywhere else.
Okay.
A little bit of this and that’s for you.
Give me your dress.
What?
Give me your dress.
This one?
Yo, Tori!
Ow!
Tori… come out to play.
You know you can't sing here.
- Why would we want to? - So your daddy can let you win again?
He picked us because we sang the best.
- Oh, my God. - That is so tight.
- Tight means good. - That is so not tight.
I love that they call this a catwalk because my name is Cat.
And look, I'm walking.
If someone was pushed off this catwalk
and they landed on the floor really hard, do you think they’d live?
Why are you asking that?
No reason.
Ah.
- Hate this. - A thousand bucks.
No enough.
Jade, listen. I read your play and I think it’s really good.
I'm not your friend.
Well.
- Wait, when did you get here? - Half hour ago.
Well, where have you been?
In your room.
You have a lot of things in there.
Wake up, come on!
Ahh!
- Ow! - Cut!
- Why? - ‘Cause you’re not supposed to hit her.
I felt that's what my character would do.
My name is Betty Sue Goldenheart!
A farm girl who’s experiencing extreme pain right now!
[squealing]
You must feel pretty stupid right now.
Okay. That’s a time out.
- No, I was just trying to… - Go sit on the steps!
I’m gonna count to ten and then I’m go…
[screaming]
[cheering]
[grunting]
- You’re ever so welcome. - I don’t talk like that!
If we win and Ke$ha does do a private concert here,
only the people who helped find the letters get to come.
Only the people who helped find the letters get to come.
I don’t talk like that!
How much blood are you gonna need?
Take a lot.
Whatever you don’t use, just put in a jug and send to my house.
Get out!
No! I'm leaving.
Give it back!
Sure. Yeah.
- Here. - Thanks.
[sighing]
Jade… do you have a question for me?
Can I come to Yearbook?
Hmmm. Maybe.
But first, you gotta give me a hug.
Just do it.
Oh, see, giving Tori a big old hug isn’t such a bad th…
Okay, that’s really tight.
Oh god, help me!
Hey!
I am so honking happy that we got married then had this cute little baby!
Diddo to that!
I tell you this.
Nothing on this planet warms my cockles more
than looking at this magical pile of baby right there.
Nobody here would do that to Trina.
Except you.
- What, me? - Who, me?
Well, I would never hurt my dear sister, Trina.
Not me, sweet Sally Peaches.
I don’t talk like that!
Open. Yeah, that’s right. Cat likes cereal.
Good. Good. Want some more? Want some more? Yeah.
Any more questions?
[mumbling]
Yeah, I think so.
Sinjin sat on my new scissors!
Okay, calm down.
I’m not gonna calm down! They’re bent!
They’ve lost their sizz!
[grunting]
I love Sesame Street.
- Sunny… - No!!
Do you have your new scissors with you?
No.
[sighing]
Don’t be shy.
Those are my old scissors.
You clowns are gonna sit here all day and think about why you’re in detention!
What are you doing here?
I'm just helping Tori rehearse for her audition.
That's three nights in a row.
I know she's bad, but does she really need this much help?
He's teaching me about taking risks.
Oh.
Hey, if we’re going to keep talking about Tori’s phone, could someone
please take me to a car door so I can slam my face in it?
I have a car.
Oh.
I touched the master’s skull and now I’m touching my special guitar.
See, I touched the guitar and nothing bad happened.
- You wanna muffin? - Sure.
You brought muffins?
Oh, no, I found it under the seat.
[coughing]
♪ One Get your hands off my-- ♪
♪ Two Or I'll punch you in the-- ♪
♪ Three Stop your staring at my, hey! ♪
♪ Take a hint take a hint ♪
♪ I am not your missing link ♪
♪ Let me tell you what I think ♪
♪ I think you could use a mint ♪
♪ Take a hint take a hint ♪
Well, then I guess somebody's going to have to get tickled.
No. Don’t.
I'm not in the mood.
Uh oh. I think it’s the tickle buddy twins!
[laughing]
♪ La la ♪
♪ La la la ♪
[screaming]
[grunting]
Why'd you jump out of the car?
Oh, no reason.
Well, hurry up and get back in.
No, that's okay.
I’ll walk it from here.
Suit yourself.
Next time.
Anyone want some licorice?
I’ll take some.
Jade?
Thanks.
This was supposed to be your night.
This was your big chance.
So, for me to go out there and…
- And? - I can’t do that to a friend.
Or even to you.
Um…
I think you look nice with no eyebrows.
Other desk, clear.
Other closet, clear.
Middle of the room,
this area from here to like right around here. This whole section
I’m indicating with my hand gestures, clear.
Robbie! Answer me,
Answer me!
I’m so hungry! Robbie!
He likes it when you say base to Shapiro.
Oh, I care what he likes.
It's over. And it's not like the whole world saw it.
Uh huh. It’s all over the Internet.
How’d it get on the Internet?
I might’ve uploaded it.
Hey.
[squealing]
Hey, Cat. What’s up?
Are you and Beck having fun?
[mumbling]
Yeah, but you know, not too much fun.
[laughing]
Car’s out of gas.
The gauge says you have a full tank.
Try not to talk.
- Later, can we get a hamburger? - We’ll see.
I can't take it. I can't take this!
Want me to rub your shoulders?
- Down! - Ah!
I've missed you.
So, what you gonna do about it?
You are wearing this to the Cow Wow.
Okay.
What? You don’t like it?
- I said okay. - You barely even looked at it.
- I just, I don’t… - This is the first social event
at the school we’re going to since we got back together.
- Okay. - You wanna know what I’m gonna wear?
- Uh… - I’m gonna wear a Hawaiian skirt,
a black western top, and a cowboy hat.
- That sounds great. - What is wrong with you?!
Robby, are you alright?
Yes! Why would you even ask that?
Uh, ‘cause you look sloppy and your hair looks dirty and I don’t know.
You just seem all freaked out.
What?
Why are you talking like that?
Why am I talking like what?
[screaming]
[groaning]
Wh...
What happened?
- Was I sleeping? - You were.
Did I hear a loud whistle?
Nah, you probably just dreamed it.
I came up with the perfect team.
Why is Jade here?
You’re not part of my perfect team!
You're putting your suck fish sister on our team?
Our team?
Suck fish?
What?
[grunting]
You chucked my noodles!
Instead of singing and the rockets red glare, she sang in the cockpits red hair.
[laughing]
She got laughed so hard, she had to leave town.
I’m not going to forget the words.
By the dawn’s early ramparts, so gallantly brave rockets.
Stop it!
Oh!
That’s good stuff.
Later.
What's wrong?
Some goo gun in my eye!