I have a question for you, tWitch.
Do you have like home repairs that you and Allison
have done in the past time that we've been quarantined?
You know what?
In these past couple of days, actually, Allison
has gone like ham on organization.
Like, yo, the Container Store?
You're welcome, because we hit y'all up crazy.
And things are just a lot more organized right now.
It's kind of amazing.
But home repairs, like no.
You don't want me with no hammer or screwdriver.
Not me.
No?
No.
Andy, what about you?
Have you broken anything at your house
that your wife wanted you to fix?
You know, I've broken a lot of things
and I've tried to build a lot of things.
And now, we're at the point in the marriage
where my wife begs me to not try and fix it or not try and do
it myself.
Yeah.
And hire someone.
Yeah.
Because she thinks I make things worse.
Yeah.
But see, now you can't hire anybody.
I know.
That's the problem.
Yeah.
I ordered a bookcase and it's been laying around for months
that I was actually going to hire someone to do,
but I would like you to do it because you've
got nothing else to do.
I put it out there.
Do you see the box?
In the house?
No, it's outside.
I put the box out there.
I see it now.
Yeah.
You didn't see that earlier?
No.
Well, they start the show and then somebody does this to me.
Yeah.
That's Portia.
So you are going to be my average Andy Handy Man.
Get it?
My Andy Man.
Handy.
Average Andy Handy Man.
Andy Man.
OK.
The directions should be there, unless the coyotes got to them.
Have you put together a bookcase before?
Maybe, no.
OK.
This is not.
Open it up.
Grab your nuts and your bolts and screw them in real tight.
All right?
You know the difference between the nuts and the bolts, right?
Yes, I do, Ellen.
OK.
Get to work.
I need that bookcase to set my LEGOs on.
While Andy gets busy back there, I
want to talk about something I've noticed recently.
Some people are finding interesting ways
to protect themselves.
And when they go out in public, they
call it social distancing fashion.
I'll show you what I'm talking about here.
This is what one person wore to a grocery store.
Take a look at this, tWitch.
All right.
They were looking for bread, milk,
and a sunken treasure is what they were looking for.
Here is a-- boy, you're breathing
heavy just opening the box.
I mean, I'm telling you, this is not a one person job.
Oh.
It said it is.
Here's another person.
This is what they wore to protect themselves.
Yep, got to the cashier.
And the cashier said, pony up.
[HORN HONKING] Uh-oh.
[DRUMS THUDDING] That's what I wanted.
I've been home too long.
Andy, you know what a unicorn is?
Yeah.
It's a--
It's with the thing that--
Yeah.
It's a horny horse.
All right.
Here's another winner.
You can't talk to me now.
I got to focus.
There's a guy.
Can you imagine sitting behind him in a movie?
Ah, remember when we could go to the movies?
Here's another one.
Look at that.
tWitch, it's like he was in a big plastic bubble
and then it popped or something.
That's what that person wore out to protect themselves.
And here's the last one.
That's called a maski pad.
Nobody steal that.
That's mine.
I'm going to trademark it.
Maski pad.
See, that's why it's important to stay inside.
You don't want to see anything like that.
That mask is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
If you see someone who's got good social distancing fashion,
please send it to me.
Andy.
Yeah.
How's it going?
I'm just getting a sense of what I have here for me.
Do you want Mop Mary to help you?
Mop Mary is here.
Send out Mop Mary.
All right.
Hang on.
Don't talk now.
I've got to--
Don't worry if you can't do it.
Only millions and millions of people will see you not do it.