-Oh, Boy.
-Ready?
-I didn't realize it was going to be --
-Get in the van, Griffin.
-Okay.
-[ Singing ] Take a sip from your soul
on a metaphysical milkshake.
-Sit me down there.
-Watch your knee. I don't want to hurt your knee.
-It's all right. It's all right. it'll be okay.
-Now, what did you have done on her knee here?
-I had a meniscectomy... -What?
-...which is they took out part of my meniscus.
-What did you do with that chunk of your meniscus?
-Um... -eBay.
So if you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?
-I want to go to Fiji.
-Done.
-Oh.
I would love to see pictures of meniscuses.
-Meniscuses. -Menisci.
-Knee surgeries?
Yeah. How convenient for a knee operation.
-Knee operation. -Yeah.
Why where you so scared to go to the Olympics?
-[ Sighs ]
-Were you intimidated by some of those international players?
-Most of the Chinese big men.
-Angolans. -Finland, Angolan.
-Belgium, Kazakhstan. -Turkey.
-You were a little intimidated.
-So I just called the hold thing off.
-Right on. Life's big questions --
if you had one hour left to live,
how would you spend it?
-I would do most of things
on my bucket list that I could --
bungee jumping, sky diving, et cetera.
-In one hour, okay. Good luck with that.
Have you ever had a glass of ice-cold dog milk?
-No, I haven't.
-Can men and women really be just friends?
-No. Mnh-mnh. -What is love?
-Love is a deep and natural infatuation
with something or someone.
-Is your mom and dad still infatuated with each other?
-I think they are, yeah. -Do you meditate?
-Not in where I close my eyes and really get into it,
but I try to do some deep thinking.
-Some deep breaths.
Have you ever had your head broken?
-Not yet.
-What's the longest you've ever gone without showering?
-Oh! About three days, I think. -Disgusting.
Fill in the sentence --
"If I wasn't playing basketball, I would..."
-Try to be a stand-up comedian, or I would try writing maybe.
-So, what do you think I should do with the van?
-I think the obvious thing is a disco ball.
Gotta have a disco ball.
-You know what, that was not obvious to me.
-Oh, I'm sorry. -You were homeschooled?
-I was.
-So you wanted to play with the other little kids
and fit in and be normal? -Yeah, I just wanted to be --
-But your mom kept you home
and made you the freak that you are.
Did she inject you with hormones?
-Not while I was awake, but...
-Tell me about your family.
Your mom -- Your mom is a schoolteacher
and your dad was a high school coach and teacher?
-Coach and teacher, yeah.
My brother and I both played for him in high school.
-Mm-hmm.
-He's got like 10 state championships.
He's had a lot of success,
so he is definitely my basketball influence,
you know, along with my brother, so.
-What did you learn from your Dad?
What did he teach you about basketball
that you still take with you to this day?
-I think the importance of hard work is something
I take from really both of my parents,
two of the hardest-working people I've ever met.
-Do you ever finish a drive
and kind of go, "Did I just do that?
Did I just split three defenders
and like put it behind my back
and slam it behind my head
and just kind of like, Where did that come from?"
-Sometimes. For me, playing on instinct was huge.
And it's one of the toughest things to do.
You hear a lot of guys, commentators,
or whoever it is, talk about how he's thinking too much,
and when you start to think the game too much,
then you over-analyze each situation
before you just react, you normally mess up.
I know I do.
-Had do you train your instincts?
-I think the more you mentally you go over them
and the more situations you've been in.
Um, you know, that's why veteran guys
who are maybe a little bit slower are better
because their instincts are just naturally fashioned
because they've almost seen every possible situation.
-My favorite cliche of all time is
"the harder you work, the luckier you get."
-It all worked out,
and I was fortunate, very fortunate,
to have the parents I do and the friends that I do.
-Mm-hmm. I'll be your friend.
-Really?
-I'm too famous and busy.
-You do know Steve Carell?
-I know Steve Carell.
-Do you have his cellphone number?
-Yeah. I got it. -Do you really?
-I'm not gonna give it you.
What's the craziest phone number you have on your phone?
-Like the most random?
-Yeah.
-You have my number.
-That one's pretty hip. That one's pretty random.
-Stop texting me pictures of your meniscus.
By meniscus, I mean... -Yeah.
-...penis.
Now get the hell out of my van.
-Yep. See you later. -Watch your knee.
Watch your knee. -Ow, ow...
-Do you need me to cradle you like a...
-Ow, ow.. -...human baby child?
-Here we go, you ready? One, two, three, here we go.
-Aahh!