-We don't always have enough time
to cover everything in the recent news.
So here with a recap is one of our writers, Amber Ruffin,
in a segment we call "Amber Says What."
-You guys! Things have been crazy!
Okay, first of all, I found out it was Pride Month,
and I was like, "What?!"
Then I realized people finally get to celebrate in person,
and I was like, "What, what!"
Then I found out that cops
weren't gonna be allowed to participate,
and I was like [Laughs] "What...do you expect?"
The very first pride march happened
because police raided a gay bar.
So I guess the theme of this year's pride is "Consequences."
So then everyone was like, "Have you heard about the bee beef?"
And I was like, "What?
That sounds gross, but I will try a bite."
And they were like, "No, two beekeepers are beefing online!"
And I was like, "People care?"
And they were like, "Girl, yes."
And I was like, "Let me take a look."
Okay, so first, there was this video
of a woman with a big old swarm of bees!
She was like, "I'm gonna remove them," and I was like, "What?"
This child was messing around with a swarm of bees
with no protective gear,
just scooping 'em up with her bare hands,
and I was like, "What?"
Then she did something that blew my frickin' mind.
She was like, "I'm looking for a queen in this swarm,
but I can't find her.
Luckily, I have one on me."
Then this woman pulled a queen bee out of her pocket,
and everyone was like, "What?
We are emotionally invested in her!"
Personally, I was like, "I hate most of this,
but I have to admit, that was cool."
Then you will never believe what happened.
A second bee lady made a video
about how the other bee lady's video is staged!
She was like, "Her husband helped her,
and you don't see all the prepping that was done."
And I was like, "What...a scandal!"
And she was like, "Also, to not have any safety gear
and your hair down is dangerous."
And I was like, "What a burn!"
And then she said this.
-I'm straight up calling her out and saying what you do is fake.
@texasbeeworks, I see you.
We all see you.
All of us female removal specialists, we see you.
We know you're faking.
-And I was like, "What drama!"
Is there anything that women can't fake?
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is bee...f.
Then there was another giant saga
you are never going to believe.
Okay, so Naomi Osaka, everyone's favorite,
was like, "I will not be participating
in the press events at the French Open.
I gotta think about my mental health."
And we were like, "What."
But a lot of people were like, "What?!"
And then the French Open was like,
"If you skip press, we are going to fine you $15,000."
And then she was like, "What."
Skipped it, paid the fine, did not give a rip.
And then they were like, "Well, if you keep skipping press,
then we might not let you compete!"
And she was like, "What? Oh, okay. I quit!"
Except she's not very loud, so she was probably like, "I quit."
And you know that when she did that,
the French Open people were like, "Quoi?"
These people were like, "Who cares about your mental health?"
Well, turns out you do.
Now, the way they treated her made me so mad that I was like,
"May the press at the French Open forever be cursed!"
And then it was, because another athlete at the French Open,
Petra Kvitová, had to drop out because she got an ankle injury
but not while playing, during press.
And I was like, "What? I caused this!"
Y'all, I cursed it!
I guess I'm too powerful for my own good.
I have since recognized my gifts and lifted the curse.
And that was the coolest thing I ever saw until this.
[ Dogs barking ]
I saw that and was like, "What?
What the hell is wrong with you?"
This teenage girl pushed a bear to save her dog!
Now, let me tell you something.
If a bear wants to eat my dog, I will pass the salt!
Girl, you got like six dogs.
Make do with five.
Under no circumstances would I ever fight a bear.
Unless they had something to say about Naomi Osaka.
Then that bear better square up.
The next day, people will be like, "What a nice coat."
And I'll be like, "Thank you. This bear was talking trash."
Then Simone Biles made gymnastics history
by throwing a Yurchenko double pike!
You got to see it!
-Wow. [ Cheers and applause ]
-What are that woman's legs made of?
Springs? Jet packs?
I saw that, and I was like,
"They need to name that move after her."
But then I remembered
she already has four moves named after her.
This move is called the Biles.
-Backflip, backflip.
Double, double. Oh, there it is.
-This move is called the Biles.
-And here's the other Biles.
-And this move is called the Biles, too.
-There she goes.
And there it is.
-So I guess they're gonna have to
call this new vault "The Don't,"
as in, if Simone Biles is competing
and you think you have a shot, you don't.
So I was so inspired by her
that I'm going to attempt my very own gymnastics move
now on live-to-tape TV.
It's called the Amber.
[ Exhales sharply ]
Yay! I did it!
Damn right 10.
This has been "Amber Says What."