Merry X-Mas everybody!
Tonight we've got a wonderful musical guest who's gonna to sing a special Christmas song for the kids.
And we've invited several local children from a local shelter to join her on stage.
And now let's give a big holiday welcome to Grammy winning singer song writer Tori McLachlan!
This song is called Merry Ex-Mas.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho.
Fa la la la.
Every year during the season of cheer,
I'm crushed and drowned by the Yule tide.
On Christmas 2004 you walked out the door,
And thus began my obsession with suicide.
While other people bake cookies and ginger bread,
The only thing I want to put in my oven is my head.
To cover up my noose marks I wear turtle necks.
And it's all because of you, my Ex.
Merry Ex-Mas, you shattered my jingle bells.
Merry Ex-Mas, also known as the twelve days of hell.
Merry Ex-Mas, you've burnt me like a Yule log.
Merry Ex-Mas, you took a leak in my egg nog.
Merry Ex-Mas. Ho ho ho ho ho ho.
I won a Grammy. Fa la la la.
Carolers come, their songs leave me so numb,
I sit nude, in the corner just rocking.
And my stomach aches from eating seven fruit cakes, Still I feel empty as a poor child's stocking.
My white Christmas is black and my eyes are blood red.
I pray to angels except angels are just people who are dead.
My Santa Claus hat feels like a thorny crown, Cause menopause is coming to town.
Merry Ex-Mas, you've crushed my crush and my soul.
Merry Ex-Mas, my heart is as black as a lump of coal.
Merry Ex-Mas, you've left me so lonely and pissed.
Merry Ex-Mas, your death is at the top of my wish list.
Merry Ex-Mas, ho ho ho ho ho...
Thank you very much. Thank you. Merry Christmas.