- So I'm very fascinated about where you are in your life
because I genuinely believe the world is telling you
the reverse of the right information.
(slow dramatic music)
When you're this young, the number one thing you should do
is the most high-risk behavior of your life.
You know, to me, this is exactly when you should
go live in Bali for a year.
This is exactly when you try to become Beyonce.
This is exactly when you do the highest risk.
The biggest reason that kids, like people become
unhappy is they're playing life in reverse.
The only things that you could be dealing with
are either debt, or expectations of your parents.
And what your parents and society do, tells you
to do the lowest risk maneuver.
The number one thing you should be thinking about
is the highest-risk behavior around the thing
that you think is gonna make you the happiest,
which is gonna go spitting in the face of everybody
from your parents, to the school you're in,
to your friends and what they thought,
and maybe even to yourself an hour ago.
Self-awareness is the most important.
Without even knowing any of you, I'm sure your love affair
with your music skill craft has evolved
through your life, right?
And this is exactly the time where some of you
are looking in the mirror and be like,
"Do I even love this shit anymore?"
Another huge recommendation I would give you,
is go work, literally for free, or like minimum wage,
or as little as possible, for the exact human being
that you aspire to be.
At 23, 24, 25, you should go work for Vera Wang for free
and then at night you should work at Whole Foods
on a night shift, and you should live with eight people,
so you only need to make 300 bucks.
But everybody does the reverse.
They take a job they don't even like for $3,000 more.
I have a lot of empathy for people in debt.
I have way less for people not in debt
because then they're letting the machine, parents, society,
dictate their lives, who then they then later resent,
because they followed their path, not yours.
But like, getting some bullshit job,
to like, pay off the debt, and moonlighting as your passion,
it's the reverse.
Don't buy a new pair of Supremes, or like, a new hand bag,
or take a nice trip to Coachella.
Otherwise you get stuck, and you're stuck in perpetuity.
Or, do that, I don't give a fuck,
but don't not do what you want to do.
Like do not have your profession.
You can either work for somebody that you
want to become or try your own shit.
You're talking to someone who is ridiculously
happy because they never played in the system.
I was a terrible student, even though every
immigrant shouldn't have been, right?
I worked for my dad's liquor store and built
up a family business for my family.
So I made no money, I built it for--
You know my narrative is very tricky,
lot of people are like,
"Oh, buy your dad..."
I'm like, I built my dad's business for him
and left with nothing at 34, you know?
But I was happy.
I didn't care that my friends went to wall street
and got a BMW.
I had self esteem.
I didn't need a cool apartment to get girls.
I didn't even want to get girls,
I was so busy working on what I was
passionate about, to be frank, you know?
If you're great at something and you're
fucking passionate about it,
you should have the best life and
people fuck it up.
I didn't.
I did everything "wrong" for 13 years,
which made me win and stayed happy.
- Even though you're studying a field that is related
to what you want your career path to be,
you're still in classes and completing those
classes takes up a lot of effort and time.
- Right. They're putting classes that have
nothing to do with the future, right?
- Yeah, that.
- Okay. My personal point of view on that is
to only allocate the amount of time and passion
that allows you to get to the next place you need to.
What I'm saying is, whatever the lowest grade
you can get in that class that allows you to continue
and advance is what you should aim for.
A lot of people's DNA only makes them strive
towards perfection, which eats up an allocation
of time that I think you should be deploying
in other things.
So if you're telling me right now you're self-aware
enough to know this fucking accounting class,
or whatever fuck you go to, is not going to
mean anything to me...
You know, there's only a couple variables.
One, there's the school's rules of what you
need to get to pass and graduate, right?
Then the only other variables are your own
kind of self-worth of how you deliver in
a class environment.
And the only other variable is your parents
or anybody else you respect's ambition of
your grade point average.
Those last two don't mean anything.
The first one does, it's the rules.
You can't get an F in this, or you can't move on.
But if you can get a C,
I just don't know.
I'm saying least amount of resistance against
your own self-awareness and passions,
that allows you to then get--
You know, all of a sudden you can imagine
when you're getting an hour back a day from
studying on some class that's some bullshit,
but you know yourself you can get a C instead of an A.
Now you have an hour to make Instagram content
that may actually lead to the thing that you
want to do for a living.
- I'll tell you what, my parents are going to
love hearing this.
- I'm sure.
(laughing)
Listen, I'm recording this so every fucking parent
on Earth can see it.
Because if you're a great parent,
you want your kid to be happy,
not to get a grade point average that you
can go brag at, at the country club.
That's to me the line in the sand of great
parents versus good parents versus bad parents.
And I'm thrilled to say that.
- So if you're put in a situation where you
have to choose between two big opportunities--
- You'll never know what the alternative
would have been.
You pick one and you never ever ever consider
to look back, because you have to understand why.
Let me--
I always play this out.
Let's say when you go to heaven they can
show you what would've happened, because that's
the only way you'd ever see it.
What people don't understand is,
"Oh, Boscha you made the wrong call,
you should've went to grad schooL instead of
that opportunity, or this company instead
of that company."
And it was perfect and you rose like a phoenix,
and you were the head of all sound,
and everything went great.
But then you had to go to Virginia on business
and you got hit by a car and died at 31.
That's life.
So, to like look at two ideas and think you
can practically make a good decision is laughable.
Literally flip a coin.
Just pick the one that feels better right that second.
And make it about you.
Because usually what kids struggle with is the
decision they want to do versus the decision
that they think they're supposed to do based
on the other voices.
You want to get real happy?
Have the conversation that you actually want
to have with the seven people you're closest to.
Tell them the truth of how you feel about everything.
That will change your life.
What you don't know, is that even if they are pissed
at you, and like say, "Who the fuck do you think you--
No matter how much they shit on you,
the level of respect will be real.
That's where it's at.
And honestly, I'm not telling you to go call
your mom and say, "Go fuck yourself."
But I am saying, that the transition to
the happiest place you can go is if you can
be self-fulfilled within yourself.
Be empathetic for your parents, not mad.
You know, a lot of you probably have this.
Either your grandparents or parents paid a lot of
sacrifices to give you this chance.
That's their framework on the world.
But you shouldn't be paying the "price" for
that 'cause you're living in a different reality.
Doesn't mean you're disrespectful.
Some of you don't have debt, because your parents paid.
You should be thankful and empathetic.
But you should not live your life for them.
'Cause I'll tell you how it's going to play
out further.
So you'll be okay for the next ten years and
then you're going to have 40 years of
resentment, and regret, and a bad relationship.
Parents a lot of the time see this content,
they get mad at me.
But then I talk to them and I'm like,
"You may be upset with me now, but email me in 2037."
When your kids have no ammo on you to blame you
for their unhappiness.
I'm always worried about your guys backgrounds
to are you living your life for the machine,
or for your parents?
And not because I want to razz parents,
it's 'cause I actually want you to have a
good relationship with your parent.
I'm just willing to have a little pain from 22 to 28.
Guys, the only thing I'm hedging against is regret.
That's what you need to be careful of and
that's what most people do.
They build a life that leads to regret.
Nobody old and about to die talks about what they did,
they talk about what they didn't do.
And you're in the best spot right now,
you're in the best spot you'll ever be, straight up.
This is the time to be most thoughtful.
But everybody wants you to figure out your life now.
Your parents don't have their lives figured out.
This is the time to taste and put
yourself in good positions.
You could do everything wrong for the next ten
years of your life and be young as fuck,
and have unlimited time to do anything you want.
Like, I don't know what else to tell you.
You could do everything wrong.
This is when you need to be ridiculous.