- How are you doing, Joaquin?
- Just great. - Yeah, just great?
I know you love doing talk shows,
so thank you for being--
- This is my Styr-- packing peanuts.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
- Yes. - This is your Styrofoam?
- Hey, you said it. - I said it.
I can say it if I get through it.
That's what I thought I would do when I--
anyway, yeah.
- Okay.
- Do you have one of those things?
Do you have a thing, or is this it?
- This is it. - This is it.
- This is it. - So why is it that--
- This is very nice Styrofoam though as far as Styrofoam goes.
- Thank you.
See, I can hear the word.
It's okay for you to say the word.
- Oh, okay.
- I just can't say it or touch it.
You know what I mean? - Uh-huh. Yeah.
- But now--and so--
but I do appreciate you being here,
'cause I know that you're not really--
- I had to. - How come?
- Well, my family insisted on it.
- Okay. - Yeah.
No, I have to tell you,
it was my birthday recently, and my--
- Happy birthday. - Thank you.
And my sister and my mom came out and visited.
And we had a really nice birthday--
like, hung out, a little dinner.
And I didn't want the party to end,
and so I said to my sisters and my mom,
"Listen, why don't you guys stay in my bed,
"and I'll stay on the couch in my room,
and we'll watch a movie, and we'll just hang out."
And so we ended up watching your comedy special.
And it was this amazing time. I went to sleep.
It's kind of a backhanded compliment,
'cause I did fall asleep.
But it was really towards the end though.
I mean, I watched-- I'd seen it before.
- Okay, all right. - Right.
So don't--you know. Several times.
- How many times have you seen it?
- Two--well, I want to say three or four,
but it's probably two-- maybe one.
[laughter] No. No, no, no, no.
Several times.
- You have watched it. What's the name of it?
- "The Beginning." - Yes. Okay.
- [exhales in relief] - All right.
[chuckles] - Oh, God.
- So you watched "The Beginning."
- I watched "The Beginning."
- That makes me feel good, even though you fell asleep.
- And I went to sleep with my sisters laughing.
It was really nice. - Well, thank you.
Well, that's a big compliment,
and I believe you.
- It's true. [laughter]
You said "I believe you" like--
- Because you have a tendency to make things up.
- What do you mean? How? What?
I--what? What do you mean?
- You lie on talk shows every time I've ever seen you.
- Everybody lies on talk shows. What do you mean?
- No, they--no. - Yes, they do.
- No.
- Nobody's ever-- that's what you do.
- What's the last thing that you--
you said you were engaged to--
you told Letterman you were engaged--
- [slurping] - [chuckles]
[laughter]
- I'm sorry, what? I couldn't hear you.
- Did you think it would just be a good story
to say you were engaged?
- I wanted the audience to like me,
and they always like you when you get engaged.
Everyone applauds, so...
- That was hilarious.
So you said you were engaged just to get applause?
- Sure. - See if it works now.
So I understand you're engaged.
- I am. I actually just got engaged.
[cheers and applause] Thank you.
Thank you. Thanks so much.
- You're right.
- Amazing, right?
So, you know...
- You're right. It does work.
No, are you shy-- would you say in general
as a human being out in life you're shy,
or is it just a situation like this?
[laughter]
- I just wanted to see what it was like
if there was a lot of time...
- Yeah, that's okay. - It's interesting, right?
It was real quiet. - When it's quiet.
A lot of people don't like spaces and pauses.
I don't mind it. - Okay.
[laughter]
You look great. - You look great too.
- Thank you. - You look really--
- I don't know if I--
you know, maybe I'm shy.
I don't know.
- And this movie--
it was directed by Paul Thomas Anderson.
- That's true.
- And it takes place in the late '60s,
hence the pork chop sideburns that you were wearing.
Like a hippie private investigation going on
to investigate a drug cartel.
And the character--
there's a lot of pot smoking for that character,
and I know that you get heavy into,
like, preparing for a role.
[laughter]
- Yeah. - Did you prepare for the role?
- I actually started preparing in the late '90s.
[laughter]
But I don't prepare in that particular way
gearing up for the movie
because it can get in the way.
- And then you were barefoot a lot in the movie.
I find it hard, personally, to walk barefoot
'cause it hurts my feet, but did you--
did you mind walking barefoot?
- You know, it was all right.
I mean, there's something kind of fun about getting up
and not having to worry about shoes
and just walking out the door,
but I did have, like, some meetings
at, like, Beverly Hills Hotel, and that was strange.
Did you notice that I just turned into,
like, a Valley girl?
[laughter] Did you notice that?
I was like... [as a Valley girl]
"I was at the Beverly Hills Hotel,
"and I was, like, walking around barefoot.
It was so weird." [laughter]
[normal voice] That's weird.
I don't know-- - I did notice that.
- Where did that come from?
- It did--totally changed just a little bit.
- [as a Valley girl] Yeah.
- No, you know what I was thinking about
is that you said there's something really amazing
about getting up and not having to worry about putting shoes on.
Like, is that a big hassle to put shoes on?
- Oh, yeah. Are you kidding?
That's not for you? - No.
- You got to find them.
You got to put them on and tie them.
Notice-- see, I don't really tie.
I leave these loose just so I can slip them on and off
because the tying part gets very, very confusing.
- What a hassle. - I know.
- And, anyway, it's over.
Wasn't that so-- it was harmless.
Wasn't that easy for you?
- Oh, completely. It was great.
- Yeah, great. It was great.
- It was. It was great.
- No, and I want to-- 'cause I want you to come back
'cause I love you and I love the films you choose and--
- That's my New Year's resolution.
- To come back? - Yeah, all the time.
- Oh, good. I'm glad. [cheers and applause]
All right. Anytime.
Uh-oh.
Did you want to see more videos?
Hold on.
[static hisses]
- These two girls got up
in the middle of my Q&A and left.
And I have a mic--
[screaming] Oh, you--
[cheers and applause]