- Is the Falcon Heavy too small?
- Or just like a little baby bear's bed, just right?
- Find out more on today's Muskwatch!
(intense metal music)
- Boeing shot some space lasers across SpaceX's bow.
- Pew pew!
Specifically on their Watch U.S. Fly website.
They claim that their space launch system or SLS--
- [Dan] Souls.
- For short, yes thank you, Dan,
will be the world's most powerful rocket.
And they have an article about why SpaceX's Falcon Heavy is,
"Too small," aww,
"for NASA's deep space needs."
- What a bunch of size queens.
Stuart Little's convertible was still a convertible.
And first off, nobody tells daddy that he's too small.
- Yeah, I think there's no way to length limit.
- What's a size queen?
- Google it. (laughs)
- What the hell are you talking,
what are you laughing?
What is that?
- Google it.
- I don't want to.
- Pop a Goog, dude.
- Never.
- Is it...
Are you obsessed with size?
Is that what a size queen is?
- Yeah, you could say that's an element.
- I legitimately have no idea.
(laughing)
- [Kyle] Second off these claims are misleading at best
and inaccurate at worst.
The first version of the SLS due out in late 2019
won't be the most powerful rocket ever made by a long shot.
- Damn!
- And the Falcon Heavy will be so much
cheaper to operate in comparison.
- Cha-Ching!
And the later updated version of the SLS
that will be the most powerful rocket ever
won't be out until the mid to late 2020's at the earliest
with no clear timeline in sight.
(blows raspberry)
And by that time it won't just be competing
against the Falcon Heavy but the BFR.
- I mean, it's a beast, so...
- [Kyle] And the most interesting part of these claims
was brought to our attention by Ars Technica.
The link that Boeing provides to
"Learn more about why the SLS is the right choice for NASA,"
is an article from the London Evening Standard,
a tabloid owned by a Russian billionaire
and former KGB agent.
Hmm, interesting.
- Dust ta damn ya.
Hm, didn't quite land. - Yeah, that's fine.
- But we'll let you decide
which rocket's the better choice for NASA.
The much more affordable SpaceX Falcon Heavy,
which had its first successful test this February,
or the SLS which will have its first test in December 2019
at the earliest.
(laughs nervously)
Really.
- Nobody tell us that dad's small because then we get mad.
- Yeah, and super hot.
- Yeah.
Big.
Although, you know, I bet it doesn't
look that big after a while.
(audience laughing)
- [Dan] When a Tesla shareholder slash guy who makes
YouTube videos about Tesla and Bitcoin petitioned
Elon Musk to allow him to ask Musk a question during
Tesla's first quarter earning call,
Pappa Elon had a surprising answer.
- You're not going to believe it, okay?
- I won't.
- He said,
"Ok."
- What?
- Yeah.
- And we were a little shocked by this response,
as I just demonstrated.
(laughs)
As someone who's actually been to SpaceX and--
- [Kyle] No, I mean, you--
- [Dan] Spent quality time with the man,
as evidenced by these photos.
- [Kyle] These are tangential at best.
- Yeah, tangential to...
- Greatness.
- [Dan] Look, honestly, I think that you and I
are much more poised to ask daddy a question publicly.
- Yup, and it's not gonna be a softball, either.
We aren't afraid to ask any of those hard-hitting questions.
- Some real hardballs.
- All right, so, questions?
- What are stocks?
And where are you hiding all of the Tesla Model 3's?
- I think we need to move on to another question,
my apologies.
- Well, Kyle. - Yeah?
- Call me Shia LaBeouf.
- I'll just do it.
- 'Cause I'm itchin'
to get behind the wheel of a new car that transforms
into a giant robit called J-deite RIDE.
- [Kyle] The robot, which can transform from car to robot
in 60 seconds.
He's gone from car to robot in 60 seconds.
Was built by BRAVE ROBOT--
- Whoa! - Thank you, yeah, yeah.
Awesome name, BRAVE ROBOTICS,
and it definitely, obviously, is a direct reference
to awesome Mecha anime.
- [Dan] BRAVE ROBOTICS' CEO Kenji Ishida
took on this project because, as he puts it,
"I grew up believing that robots
"had to be capable of such things,
"which became my motivation to develop this robot,"
which is awesome. - Hey, want it?
- Yeah. - Live it, do it, man.
- Give more otaku a (bleep) ton of money.
- Yeah, enough to buy one Tesla share, please.
You probably still won't get your car.
The coolest thing is that this robot drives
in car mode and walks in robot mode.
It's actually a transformer like we see in the movies
and we're promised by so many cartoons in the 80's.
- You see, walking robots walk like this,
and driving robots drive like this.
- So relatable.
- [Dan] It's powered by a lithium ion battery
and they claim it can reach a top speed of 18 miles an hour
while walking and 37 miles an hour while driving.
- So way faster than the average walker,
but way slower than the average car, right in the middle.
- Yeah.
Finally, filling that transportation gap
between dumb humans and...
Your mom.
- Okay. (laughs)
Given all this, we can bet that it will only be moments
until Elon Musk announces his own transforming car
to go along with cyborg dragons and whatnot.
And on that note,
it's time for your Musk See moment of the week.
- Oh, Musk See! - Oh, Musk See!
(intense metal music)
- Well, I accelerated way into the...
(laughs)
- Ladies and gentlemen, he's dead.
- [Kyle] Elon Musk took to Twitter to let us all know,
"I..."
He didn't really say this, did he?
What is he do,
whatever.
He took to Twitter to let us all know,
"I have prehensile eyebrows," end quote.
Which means that his eyebrows are capable
of grasping things, kind of like a monkey's tail.
- [Dan] Yeah, and when helpful Twitter users tweeted
the fact that the Long-Tailed Pangolin has a prehensile tail
for climbing trees, Musk replied with,
"That's how I use my eyebrows too."
- I think, Dan, this might be the next step
in human evolution, just imagine.
- Oh, sick.
- Just imagine it-- - I'm picturing it.
- In the next couple of million years--
- Next couple of minutes.
- Human's are able to use their facial muscles to grab
onto other people's faces with their eyebrows.
- Ugh. - Wow.
- That is like a chalky sensation in my mouth.
That's genuinely terrible.
- Come here.
- But before I go, I wanna to leave you--
- I wanna try it--
- And you, not you,
a disturbing image of a romantic date with Elon Musk.
- Ugh, damn it.
- It's going well.
You lean in for a kiss at the end of the night,
when all of a sudden, out of nowhere,
his (bleep) eyebrows reach out and gently caress your face.
- I think those are called caterpillar kisses
instead of butterfly kisses.
Instead of eyelashes, it's eyebrows.
(laughs)
Doesn't it feel good, baby?
- His Eyelons.
And that's all the time we have for this episode
of Muskwatch.
- Bye! - Bye!
(intense metal music)
(knees cracking)
- [Kyle] Oh!
Ow!
(Kyle laughs) I skipped leg day!
Ah!
(intense metal music)