Are you living for what you DO want or for what you DON'T want?
In your physical existence
you are in the process of sorting through the contrast
of unwanted and wanted,
all day long.
Now in this particular dimension,
what you have is time and space
and therefore movement.
Now in the universe where movement is a reality,
you naturally go away from the unwanted
and in the direction of what is wanted.
The way that this time-space reality has been designed,
is so that you can allow the unwanted
to crystallize and define what is wanted,
so that when you are moving in the direction of what is wanted
with your thoughts and your words and your actions,
then you create Universal expansion
through your own personal expansion.
But some people do not use the contrast of unwanted and wanted in this way,
(so as to serve their personal expansion).
Instead, their life becomes entirely controlled
by what is unwanted.
They live their whole life
trying to avoid what they don't want.
Pushing against the unwanted,
or trying to avoid the unwanted,
is a very very different thing
than going in the direction of what is wanted.
To comprehend this I want you to imagine a compass.
So imagine I'm holding a compass in front of you.
This is north, this is south, right?
Let's imagine that south represents the unwanted
and due north represents what it is that you want, right?
Now obviously, if you understand what south is,
it's pretty easy to then define what north is,
and go in that direction instead.
However, most people aren't actually doing this.
What most people are doing,
is just trying to avoid south.
Now, if you avoid south,
you don't necessarily go north, do you?
You can go east and you can go west.
Neither are in the direction of what you actually want.
Another thing that people do,
is to continue headed south,
hoping that one day it's going to magically turn into north.
And another thing other people do,
is that they continue to head south,
but screaming at south,
for being so wrong for being south.
In essence, people spend their whole life
either fighting south or trying to avoid south, right?
Instead of going north.
Another way of saying this is that
a lot of people spend their entire life
fighting or avoiding
what they don't want,
instead of going in the direction of what they do.
I want you to look at your life
and I want you to look at your relationships
and I want you to ask yourself this question:
"Am I doing the things that I am doing,
to avoid a consequence,
or am I doing the things I'm doing because I want to?
For example,
Am I doing the dishes because I want a clean house,
or am I doing the dishes to avoid getting in trouble for not doing them?
Am I saving money in my account,
because I want to feel financially free,
or because I want to avoid being cashless in a calamity?
Am I saying "yes"
because I want to help that person,
or because I want to avoid them turning against me if I say "no"?
Am I doing this job because I want to be doing this job,
or am I doing this job to avoid the feeling of financial risk or insecurity?
Am I staying in this relationship
because I want to be with this person,
or am I staying in this relationship
because of how scary life might be without them?
Am I not telling someone the truth about how I feel
because doing so really doesn't serve me or my desires,
or am I not telling someone the truth about how I feel
because I want to avoid the feeling of being rejected,
invalidated or ignored?
Am I exercising to have the body and physical feeling I want,
or am I exercising to not be fat?
Do I spend time with my kids because I want to be around them,
or because I want to avoid
the feeling of guilt and the potential
that one day they'll grow up to hate me?
Keep in mind that
one person might do something to avoid a consequence,
where another person might do that exact same thing,
but because they want to.
And also remember that
on one day, we might do something because we want to,
and on another day we might do that exact same thing,
because we want to avoid a consequence.
For example,
today I might rub my wife's feet,
because I really want to.
Tomorrow I might rub my wife's feet
because I'm afraid that if I don't,
she's gonna start nagging the crap out of me,
about how unattentive I am to her.
You may look at this list that I've just given you, and say:
"Yeah, but...
That seems like it's two sides of the same coin."
Really, it's not.
It's two different sides of a compass.
Why? Because going in either direction
takes you in drastically different directions.
And that's the point that you have to really understand about all this.
If you're doing something to avoid consequences,
versus doing something because you want to,
you will be doing very different things.
To give you an example,
let's say that somebody doesn't want to feel poor.
They might get a job they hate,
simply because it provides financial security
or start hiding money under the mattresses
or start buying clothes that makes them feel rich,
even though they can't afford it. Etc.
On the other hand,
if this person realized that they wanted to feel financially free,
they might start to educate themselves
on economics and finance and investing.
They might decide to do shadow work
relative to the experiences and beliefs that are keeping them poor.
They might find an outfit at an affordable price,
which allows them to feel opulent,
but without the purchase being a bad financial decision
and therefore taking them further away from their desire.
For another example,
let's imagine that a person realizes their relationship doesn't feel good.
It's not exactly what they want,
but they are so afraid,
so afraid of leaving the relationship.
Why?
Because they don't want that insecurity.
They don't want to feel alone.
Now this person who's in this pure avoidance of the unwanted mode,
instead of going in the direction of what I want mode,
might do things like:
Start having extramarital affairs.
They might go into denial,
or start showing themselves all the proof
that they should absolutely stay.
They might choose to become more and more increasingly codependent
in their current relationship.
On the other hand,
if they realize that what they're really wanting
is a different kind of relationship,
they might do something like:
Become honest with their partner.
They may do something like:
Tell their partner they want marriage counseling,
and if their partner refuses, leave.
They might start to strengthen
their sense of security outside the relationship.
They might find ways to feel less alone.
They also might start to act in a more authentic way.
So as to increase the odds that whatever relationship they find,
outside of this one,
is something that's going to be actually compatible to them.
Sometimes if we really want something,
we'll be sure to act in ways that prevents the unwanted.
But when we're doing this,
in the attitude of doing something because we really want to,
it's not going to feel the same in our body,
as it does when we're doing something purely to avoid consequences.
Instead, it's going to feel like
that preventative measure that we just took,
is perfectly in alignment with getting us more of what we want.
It's going to feel in your body,
not like resistance and not like stuckness,
but more like that expanded empowered sensation
of bringing about what you want
and ensuring that you're secure
in the way of going towards what you want.
Because a preventative measure will bring us closer to what we want,
we actually feel as if we're choosing with our free will
to do that thing.
Which is not the case,
when all we're doing is avoiding a consequence.
Let me explain;
When we do things simply to avoid the unwanted,
we will feel controlled or forced into taking actions
to prevent or avoid.
Subconsciously self-preservation will become our top need and priority,
and all of our other desires
will be thrown on the back burner
and de-prioritized.
We will then begin to feel really really resentful
of whatever or whoever is making us feel like we must self preserve,
to the detriment of all of our other desires.
We will see those people and situations
like "the bad guy" and feel controlled by them.
But really we're being controlled by our own unexamined priorities and fears.
Become clear about what you don't want.
What is that consequence you are trying to avoid or fight?
Knowing that,
what does that indicate that you powerfully want instead?
If you pivoted towards those things,
what could you think and say and decide and do
that would bring you in the direction of what you are wanting instead?
For example,
I want you to imagine that you're looking around the earth
and you notice that your unwanted,
is that from your perspective,
the earth is being destroyed by humans.
You don't want that,
so what you're wanting is a healthy earth.
What you're wanting is an earth that is in harmony with humanity.
Or shall I reverse that?
You want humanity to be in harmony with earth.
So if you did a pivot in that particular circumstance,
so you know what South is and so you know what North is,
what steps can you take to go in the direction of North?
You might do things like,
make solar panels,
so that that's your source of energy at your home.
You might do things like,
increase your recycling projects inside of your house.
You might do something like decide to take public transportation
or ride your bicycle.
You might decide to share information about the environment
on your social media accounts.
You might, every time you find a really cool environmental product,
decide to share that product with the people in your life,
or even buy those products for them.
When you're facing in the direction of what you want,
when you are thinking and saying and deciding and doing
things that bring you in the direction of what you are wanting,
you will not feel that sensation of resistance or stuckness in your body.
You will not feel like you're running away from anything
or pushing against anything.
Instead, you will feel that expansive empowering feeling
of bringing about what you want
and putting your energy into what is right for you.
There is no way to feel happy or fulfilled
or as if you're on the right path of your purpose in this life,
if you are living your life simply to avoid what you don't want
or to push against those things that you don't want.
I mean, no way whatsoever to be happy there.
It is not the life that you came here for.
Live your life for what you do want.
This means let your awareness of south
(what is unwanted)
define for you what north is,
(what is wanted),
and then think and say and decide and do
things that are in the direction
of that due north.
Have a good week
If you liked this video,
be sure to share it, like it
and also subscribe to my channel so you can see more content like this.
But I want to personally thank you
for taking the initiative and having the bravery
to step into the space of awareness.
Not only for yourself, but for the benefit of those around you.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte