i remember being like that too i mean i grew up so confident as a kid but then it was the words
of people and then it's the shaping of people and because i did have a sense of brokenness
my in my heart i looked to people that were in authority over my life and thought oh well
that's how you have to be and then they were almost morphing me into becoming someone that
i wasn't and i can't even tell you the exhaustion the struggle the insecurity in always just feeling
less than like i never measured up because it was like i was wearing somebody else's
clothing and god had to break that in me and the the freedom that i realized hold on a minute
what am i doing i'm living to somebody else's expectation of me but this is how you know i used
to hate my laugh because i was i was told it was too loud and obnoxious and i need to temper down
isn't it amazing that now because i'm free to be myself the limitations have been broken off
that people from all over the world the thing that i will get a compliment about is when
you laughed it did something in me yes and even yesterday henry said we were in the uh i was in
publix he was buying ham and i was on the phone with my friend mia and i was relaying a story
and mia is if you don't know mia fields mia donovan she's one of the funniest people on
the planet so she obviously says something that's hilarious mostly inappropriate but hilarious and i
just let one rip in publix for everyone's in the you know ham line buying their ham and i'm like
and henry and i'm not even i'm oblivious now because this is just who i am and henry goes
love you should see all the people but there was all smiles on their face when you were laughing
because you were yourself and i thought wouldn't it just be a shame when we just feel like we
have to be limited to look like christianity well this is how you have to look
this is how we have to act and therefore the people that need to see the god reflection
because you know the attribute that that's part of god that's right so what people are seeing
they're saying that god's like that yes god's like that god's like that god's like that imagine if we
were all the same and so i just think we need to break this limitation of what other people
and be reminded no this is who you are don't you stop laughing you keep that laughter going
and i think people mix it with the pruning they feel trying to put on like what they believe is
the model christian it's uncomfortable because this god wants to prune me there's no grace no
and that you know it's that uncomfortableness it's there's no grace it's not the pruning
and i think a lot of new christians they feel when they see what they believe is the model christian
they're like oh this is uncomfortable because god wants me to grow and it's like no
the pruning is not that uncomfortable like there's no grace in that he wants you to be who you
are yeah i think part of it too is that they're thinking that the model christian is another
christian right and not christ you know what i'm saying we're to be loaded into the image of christ
he's the model so it's like we're trying to be like sister so and so like brother
so and so like no no no he's the one you know and and i love also like over in psalm one it says
blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly no stand up in the west center
sin there's no sitteth in the seat of the mocker or the scornful but here's delight is in the law
of the lord and as long as he meditate day and night and he shall be like a tree planted by the
rivers of water that bringeth forth his fruit in his season his sleep also shall not with him
whatsoever he do it shall prosper but i think sometimes we think that somebody else's season
is my season somebody else's stage is my stage no it's that tree has its own time his own fruit
his own stage and so do we and so i think that frees us to be who god has called us to
be because it might be spring for you and it might be winner for somebody else yeah you know what i'm
saying there's some might be seasons there are and god might be pruning somebody else and not being
even if you just look at the original 12 they were not homogenous i mean simon the zealot was
diametrically appro opposed to matthew who worked for the irs and skimmed off the backs
of his brothers to pad his bank account and they you know barabbas was killed by the zealots
the exact same gang simon was running with i mean he and matthew would have never been
in the same club had it not been jesus saying i'm calling y'all and we tend to go it looks
this way and i'm like no it doesn't it may look that way in your stream and it looks this way
i had a seminary professor say a couple of years ago and it just shook me because i hadn't
thought you know sometimes it's the most simple things that are profound in your spirit he just
i don't remember what we were talking about we're all i'm sure trying to act like we're smart and
remember some greek thing we remember but he said to to something somebody said he just real calmly
brilliant professor he was on the translatory team for the niv i mean he's forgotten more
stuff about god's word than i will ever know and he just real real simply he just said you know
if it doesn't preach in sudan it shouldn't preach in denver yep that's right and you go i hadn't
even thought of that i'm thinking about how to how to us like go okay you're you you're you and
then i'm like goodness gracious i hadn't even thought about my brothers and sisters in sudan
or indonesia or i think that's the most positive thing about having a life where
you run with people who don't all look like you talk like you vote like you
you know think like you dance like you or not dance like you but to go oh wow there's the
image of god oh wow there's the image of god we're all a manga day but i think first world countries
tend to get a template that is based after another christian instead of after jesus he's much wilder
than we tend to see if you really study the christ of scripture he's not this sad german-looking dude
you know with wreck girl hair extensions i mean he's just you know people got mad at him because
he didn't fit with you in the wrong neighborhood kind of people hung out you know like yeah
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