Recently I've done a lot of videos about big conspiracies or tragedies or scandals, and
while they're certainly very interesting, they can be a bit serious. Today, let's unwind
a bit and do an old school video - taking a lighthearted look into a strange or unusual
Wikipedia page. The kind of Wikipedia page where the mere existence of it is enough to
make me laugh. The 'Dave Matthews Band Chicago River incident'. Now that's a Wikipedia page.
What kind of incident could the Dave Matthews Band possibly have had with the Chicago River
to warrant its own Wikipedia page? A hilarious one.
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The Dave Matthews Band is an American rock band formed in 1991 and still active to this
day. Their debut studio album 'Under the Table and Dreaming' brought them worldwide fame
and has been certified platinum six times over. I've never listened to their music so
I can't give you too much more insight on that, maybe it's good, maybe it's bad; it
really doesn't matter to me because we aren't talking about the Dave Matthews Band today,
we're talking about the Dave Matthews Band Chicago River incident.
On August 8, 2004, the band was on the road doing shows, and booked five buses to accomplish
this, seems a bit excessive. At around 1pm the violinist's bus was passing through Chicago...
ok yeah, if the violinist has his own bus, it's excessive. Usually the hierarchy of bands
is something like vocalist, guitarist, and then everyone else - I think most bands just
fold those guys up into suitcases for easier travel, but not the Dave Matthews Band apparently.
The buses bands use for touring are quite a bit different than your average bus, as
it's going to be home for the guys inside for an extended period of time. This means
a tour bus must have features that include things like beds and a toilet. If you've ever
wondered how that worked, the bus has its own septic tank on board to store the waste,
and its disposed of at a later date - sometimes a third-party is contracted for the waste
disposal. This is the second video I've done on Chicago and in both of them I end up talking
about the mechanics of poop management.
Around the same time the bus was passing through, a boat tour for Chicago's architecture departed
in a boat called Chicago's Little Lady. The boat held around 120 passengers on an open-roof
terrace, where they could gaze in amazement at architecture. Around 15 minutes after its
departure, the boat was passing under the Kinzie Street Bridge, a bridge built in 1909
with a grated surface. As they passed under the bridge, the David
Matthews Band bus was passing over it. The bus driver, upon seeing the bridge was grated,
and assumedly not wanting to arse around paying to dispose of the septic tank's contents,
saw an opportunity to just dump all the shit in the river. It's only Chicago, after all.
He probably thought it was a pretty clever move. You know who didn't? Two thirds of the
people on the boat below, who were soaked in 800 pounds worth of the septic tank's contents.
I could make countless jokes about this situation, but legal filings being funnier than I am,
I'll let them do the talking; "Dozens of passengers on the sightseeing tour
boat were doused with the liquid human waste. The passengers included persons with disabilities,
senior citizens, a pregnant woman, a small child and an infant."
"The liquid human waste was brownish-yellow in color and had a foul, offensive odor."
Yeah, I'll bet. "The liquid human waste went into the passenger's
eyes, mouths, hair and onto clothing and personal belongings, many of which were soaked. Some
of the passengers suffered nausea and vomiting as a result of exposure to the liquid human
waste."
Reportedly there was also a pregnant woman driving on the bridge at the same time, and
the sight and smell of the mess caused her to immediately start vomiting all over the
car. She tried to stick her head out the window but of course the wind just blew it all back
onto her. The tour boat immediately turned around and
gave all the passengers a refund. Some went to hospital to get tested. Luckily, no one
suffered any long-lasting health problems. Now all that remained was to find the bus
driver who did it. This was not an easy task, made harder by
the band's use of five fucking buses. The offending bus had its license plate traced
back to a driver for the band, but he was not the one driving the bus that day, claiming
he was in another bus parked infront of the band's hotel at the time.
Eventually state prosecutors concluded from a nearby gym's security footage, that Stefan
Wohl, a driver for the Dave Matthew Band was responsible. In March 2005, he pleaded guilty
to misdemeanor charges of reckless conduct and water pollution. He was sentenced to 18
months probation, 150 hours community service and was made pay a fine of $10,000 to an environmental
organization responsible for maintaining the river.
The band donated an additional $50,000 to the same organisation, and another $50,000
to the Chicago Park District. They also settled a civil lawsuit with the State of Illinois
for $200,000.
And all this originated from a man pushing a button. I'm sure he thought he was saving
himself a lot of time and effort throwing that shite into the river, but unfortunately
for him this was a day where dumping septic waste into the river was not a victimless
crime. I mentioned earlier in the video I have another
video about Chicago and the mechanics of poop and believe it or not I wasn't lying. That's
an interesting tale of the whole city being physically lifted up so they could build the
sewerage system underneath it. I wonder do they tell you about that on the architecture
tour those people on the boat were partaking in. Well, if you want to find out how they
lifted a city, without taking the risk of getting shit on, or going to Chicago, watch
that video, and subscribe for more.