So…
Have you ever thought:
“Wow, a lot of disabled people are also… kind of gay!”
Well you’re not wrong!
Hello lovely people!
I recently made a Tiktok/Short/Reel (delete as appropriate) about the high incidence of
people who are both LGBTQ+ AND Disabled.
It seems to have struck a nerve:
That wasn’t what I meant…
Yep, in fact not only do studies from both the American Public Health Association and
the Movement Advancement Project find that the prevalence of disability is indeed higher
in the LGBTQ+ community:
- It’s 1-in-3 of us
Most recent national census data here in the UK also agrees, with a higher percentage of
disabled people in England identifying as LGB+ (“gay or lesbian”, “bisexual”
or “other sexual orientation”) (6.4%) than non-disabled people (2.6%)
Interestingly, lesbian, gay, and bisexual adults with disabilities are significantly
younger than heterosexual adults with disabilities.
- ALTHOUGH, you can watch my video on ‘Why are so many young people LGBTQ+’ to find
out why that might be the case.
Click the card in the top left of the screen to see that video.
I’ll also leave it in the description below.
So, disability is of course an intersectional identity.
You can be disabled and… many other things: hilarious, hispanic, hindu, hungarian, horse
rider.
[beat] for example.
- Just as you can be LGBTQ+ and… any type of person.
Including actively homophobic.
We know from research and census data that people with marginalised identities are more
likely to experience health challenges, including or resulting in disabilities.
https://www.ameridisability.com/study-affirms-lgbtq-people-are-more-likely-to-have-a-disability-than-the-general-population/
Partly, because… discrimination takes a toll on our wellbeing.
- Yes, you heard me right.
Could initial discrimination BE the reason for that high illness figure???
Well, we’ll get to that.
But also… kind of maybe?
When I first started making YouTube videos and had to explain to people in the real world
what my channel was about
- “disability and chronic illness but also LGBTQ+ issues.
Why do you look so confused?”
The main response was that it seemed to be an incredibly small niche.
Yet, something, something, something, obviously a personal anecdote here but, firstly, I’m
almost at a million subscribers
- subscribe if you haven’t already!
And secondly, that crossover?
It’s huge.
The incidence of disability or chronic illness (and yes, I am including various mental health
issues because mental health is health) in any LGBTQ+ group of friends I come across
is generally much higher than the figures, to me, suggest.
And I realise that I AM the thing so obviously I’m going to come across more people who
ARE the thing.
But I could only think of one ‘queer friend group’ I know who don’t have health issues…
and then I realised… they’re all deaf.
Now, in my case, I felt WAY more comfortable being open about my sexuality because I already
had health challenges that I had to confront constantly and explain to people non-stop
because they aren’t always visible.
- “oh, you’re having an ice-skating birthday party?
Woooow, that sounds amazing!
I would love to come!
I can’t actually ice skate though.
No, not because I’ve never tried, it’s because my connective tissue is like slime,
my ankles are pathologically incapable of holding me up and I WILL slop to the ground
like a bag of bones.
I AM a lesbian though so if a space for a sassy gay best friend opens up, I’m right
here!
Oh.
not that kind of gay best friend?
Never mind.
In comparison, liking girls was a fun extra little tit bit I could share with people.
It was so positive in comparison to ‘really?
You want me to list what’s wrong with me?’
And can I just ask: doctors of the room, when you’re taught to make your patient recite
what is ‘wrong’ with them, even though it’s literally written on the piece of paper
in front of you, is it intended to be WITH the sensitivity that for those who have had
chronic health conditions or life long disabilities you’re potentially bringing up a lot of
trauma?
Because I don’t love it!
Who would?!
There are too many things!
I forget a quarter of them!
And then have to keep randomly adding them on later.
Just read the front page of the notes!
I know you’re trying to save time but I promise reading the bullet points will be
faster than this.
So here we have one possibility: I already have something that makes me obviously different,
might as well explore the other things.
But there is also the fact that LGBTQ+ people who don’t have a disability may acquire
one due to direct discrimination against them- whether that be physical, emotional or even
a more systemic issue like lack of access to appropriate housing.
- such as a transwoman who wasn’t offered a bed in a women’s shelter sleeping outside
and developing chronic recurring bronchitis.
But this can start from an early age, with LGBTQ+ students and those who are believed
to be such being much more likely to experience bullying or harassment at school because of
an actual or perceived disability with 26% having reported it to a teacher.
Of course, those are the ones who tell their teacher that they are being bullied for being
both LGBTQ+ and disabled.
And the percentage figure is taken from teenagers who accessed services for queer teens, whereas
not everyone does…
I remember at one of the schools I went to, some friends of mine were chased home by school
bullies shouting homophobic slurs and shooting BB guns at them.
That was down a main road with plenty of witnesses and even though they had BB pellets lodged
in their flesh they never told a teacher or a parent because… what were they going to
do?
- was what we thought as stupid teenagers!
But I’m the adult now and I’m telling you that some adults DO care and they WILL
move heaven and earth for you and you CAN make a difference by telling someone in charge
what is happening.
DON’T let a bully pressure you into staying silent.
If you tell one adult and it doesn’t help, even if it makes the situation seem worse
in the short run, you just keep trying and you just keep telling until you find the one
that says ENOUGH and puts a stop to it.
Lots of adults have their own stories of how when they were a child an adult didn’t help
them so they’re trying to do better now.
I absolutely could throw some more sad statistics at you here but… let’s take a break for
our special intermission: ‘Famously Disabled Rainbows!’
There are actually loads of famous people who are both LGBTQ+ AND have disabilities.
And they aren’t all white men, even though that is the most commonly represented demographic
when you type ‘disabled person’ into google images.
No offence to my white dudes, you do make up some of my favourite people.
It’s just that you’re not…
ALL of my favourite people, you know?
- And let’s hear it for a better mix of disability representation too!
Blind, deaf, non-visible disabilities, learning delays, developmental disorders, mental health
conditions and everything else!
How many famous disabled AND LGBTQ+ people can you list?
Here are some of my faves:
Absolute Queen, Rosie Jones, who is a comedian and author with cerebral palsy and a wicked
sense of humour.
British national treasure, Stephen Fry, who has done great work talking openly about having
bipolar disorder.
Model Aaron Rose Philip who has appeared on the runway for couture designers like Moschino
as well as in campaigns for household names like H&M, Dove and ASOS.
Of course, Frida Kahlo, a brilliant artist who had polio and spinal and pelvis damage.
Chella Man, OBVIOUSLY, a deaf model, painter, sculptor, performer and intensely interesting
human.
Lord Byron, yes the poet, was born with a deformity of his right foot which affected
him all his life.
Actress, model and incredibly attractive human being Jillian Mercado, who has muscular dystrophy.
Leonardo Di Vinci, -yeah, I know- painter, scientist, sculptor and architect who wrote
in mirror writing, had erratic spelling and had a mind unlike any other.
potentially neurodivergence, potentially dyslexia but he definitely had epilepsy.
Lady Francesca, fabulous drag queen and member of Drag Syndrome, a group of drag queens with
down syndrome (and I just said ‘drag’ too many times)
The intermission is over.
Now, I COULD hit you with some ‘fun facts’ to pull out at parties when faced with people
who ‘don’t believe in identity politics’ and ‘don’t see colour’:
- “There is an overrepresentation of both LGBTQ+ people and people with disabilities
in the juvenile and criminal justice systems, a fact which only increases for people who
fall into both categories (as well as people of colour).
Please DO explain your thesis on why, Donna, WITHOUT mentioning race, sexuality, gender
and disability.
We’re all listening”
Trigger warning that Donna probably doesn’t approve of.
A recent report from Stonewall found that 20% of LGBTQ+ disabled people have faced discrimination
in healthcare and a shocking 59% said life was not worth living at some point in comparison
to 31% of LGBTQ+ who are not disabled.
Sooo… you know how I previously talked about ‘oh you’re out and proud about one part
of your identity, you’re just bound to be more open to exploring other parts’ well…
that isn’t necessarily the case.
We can’t ignore that there is a reason the most common answer to ‘being trans is a
choice’ is ‘honey, why would I choose this?’
- ‘honey’ is not always the term.
As much as we do (and should) love who we are, we have to acknowledge that prejudice
and social pressure from the outside world is real and is strong.
I personally don’t have any negativity tied to my gayness as it exists independently within
me.
But I DO hate that I have to watch myself before saying ‘wife’ in front of someone
new or explaining that when my toddler loudly says ‘where’s Mummy?’
I’m not his nanny or his aunt, I’m just his ‘Mama’.
- Apparently that’s a different subsection of parent in his mind and you can’t challenge
it.
There are Mummies, there are Daddies and there are Mamas.
Some children have one, some have two, some have all three and SOME have ‘their adult’...
And the reason I do that is because I'm scared of what people's reactions it will be.
Because I don't know.
There is an intrinsic feeling of being unsafe.
And that is bizarre when what I'm talking about is literally just the make up of my
family.
But yet I have to somehow check that you as a human being seem like the type of person
who won't attack me whether that's verbally or maybe physically.
And I've only had a few times have someone start going on a bit of a funny one… in
front of my child.
And lucky when he's been young enough that he hasn't been able to pick up on it.
But I don't love the intense outpouring of stereotypically not great stuff?
I absolutely would not and obviously cannot change being gay but if you’d asked me before
my son was born I would definitely have said that I wouldn’t choose it.
- Now I know that this amazing little human wouldn’t exist otherwise so…
I’m clicking that ‘gay’ button every time!
And whilst on the one hand we can muse about ‘oh well, perhaps a person with disabilities
has less social pressures placed on them to fit into a comphet society due in part to
the stigma against them that people who are disabled are not interested in sex, intimacy,
or relationships.’
Which is absolutely something I felt as a very de-sexed, bedridden, incredibly ill teenager.
Like, ‘no one cares who you fancy, sweetie, we’re just wondering if you’ll make it
to Christmas’
BUT at the same time, there is a very heavy burden placed upon us by having carers who
are often family members, who may have trouble seeing us as mature and interested in sex
and relationships.
Equally the expectations we feel from those caregivers, who might have their own very
loud thoughts on ‘the gays’, could lead to internalised homophobia or a fear of coming
out and expressing something that might lead to an end in care and a reduction in their
quality of life.
- Spoiler: Not everyone feels safe and secure enough to out themselves.
Plus, discrimination within minority groups is just as big a problem as it is outside.
100% of disabled people aren’t magically never homophobic or transphobic just because
they have disabilities.
And LGBTQ+ CERTAINLY can be not the most inclusive when it comes to accessibility and different
needs.
But of those who ARE able to self identify as belonging to both the LGBTQ+ AND disabled
community, the number is certainly rising- recent statistics show a higher correlation!
So, again, why the crossover?
Well, point two, when people don’t have equal rights or feel unacceptable in society
it is no surprise that it directly impacts their health.
- Discrimination and rejection are traumas.
Some studies have even proposed that the traumatic effect of discrimination and rejection on
LGBTQ+ people’s mental and physical health can itself be considered a disability.
Further research done by UCLA showed that trans people “are significantly more likely
to report having a disability due to a physical, mental or emotional condition.”
As a knock on effect of increased isolation and stigmatisation.
So, are we all just getting along?
You know what sucks?
When it’s your friend’s big birthday, you’re all dressed up, she’s been hyping
you up all week on the group chat, you spent three hours getting ready, you’ve had a
great time at pre-drinks and then you arrive at the new gay club to find-
[brake screech]
it’s down an alleyway that can only be accessed by some stairs.
Oh yeah, and you’re on crutches.
Brilliant (!)
So even though their website SAID the club was accessible…
they didn’t bother factoring in the steep steps outside FOR SOME REASON.
- curse these people to eternally bad Google reviews!
Spaces and services focused on the LGBTQ+ community are not always the most accessible
and conversely, spaces for people with disabilities may not recognise the unique views and experiences
of a LGBTQ+ person.
This gives a sense of invisibility within both communities to these individuals.
Pride month is a great example of this, right?
Organisers of events don’t recognise or prioritise accessibility by failing to provide
accessibility routes, adequate wheelchair spectator space, accessible toilets and other
necessary requirements.
The intent of Pride is that it is for everyone to proudly celebrate their body, gender, sexuality
and physical appearances - so it is a disappointment to say the least when the needs of everyone,
with ‘everyone’ to include people with disabilities, are not taken into account.
Many LGBTQ spaces revolve around nightlife and alcohol which excludes those not only
those in drug and alcohol recovery or those who cannot drink - like myself - bring on
the diet coke!- but also anyone who finds ‘club’ and ‘bar’ experiences overwhelming.
- Dark spaces?
Bright, flashing lights?
Very loud music?
People crushed together?
An emphasis on sexual connections and physical touch…?
This is one thing that definitely varies based on your location though- where I live there
are queer knitting clubs, walking groups, rainbow family meetups, movie nights, library
events and dog beauty pageants.
I didn’t even have to make that last one up.
The one thing that can be still a little inaccessible is in person activism, which might rely on
marches or large crowds to prove a point- both things I personally try to avoid!
There is also the feeling that to be heavily involved may require a lot of energy or time,
something we with chronic illnesses and disabilities are often short on
- BUT if we can job-share, we can activism share!
Even an hour or so makes a difference and there IS a lot that can be done from keyboard,
whatever people say.
the same year as the Americans with Disabilities Act was established), is celebrated in July
of each year but didn’t come to the UK until 2015 compared to Gay Pride which has been
well established here since its inception in 1972.
But recent years have definitely seen an increased awareness and wider attention to people with
disabilities especially within the LGBTQ+ community with more spaces opening to accommodate
everyone.
‘Queer House Party’ is a community platform and LGBTQ+ party that now hosts online live
streaming events with captions and audio description, and a local space here in Brighton called
‘The Queery’ ran for queer people by queer people advertises itself as ‘a wheelchair-accessible
sober space’.
And at this year’s Pride had a funfair!
The more the LGBTQ+ community can support those of us with disabilities the more we
can drive policy advances and create positive change, whilst also increasing the understanding
of the unique challenges LGBTQ+ people with disabilities experience.
Stigma sucks, whatever the reason you’re facing it, but in some ways it’s also a
great opportunity to look to other stigmatised communities and connect with what they’re
going through.
And that lived experience can definitely make us more aware of the members of our community
who are, through an intersection of identities facing more than one battle against prejudice.
- As President of Respect Abilty Jennifer Laszlo Mizrahi says: “It is vital to fight
stigmas and advance opportunities so all people who have faced prejudice can achieve a better
future.”
Thank you so much for watching this video, let me know your thoughts in the comments
below.
Remember to subscribe if you haven’t already.
And I’ll see you in my next video!