Renee: When you see a gorgeous woman in public, you have about five seconds to either
come across as creepy and intimidating, or mysterious and attractive. And the
difference between the two is all in the approach. I'm Renee Slansky for
The Attractive Man Team and in this video, I'm going to give you my Top 10
effective tips for approaching women in public, so that you can know if and when
to approach her and come across as a more desirable, and confident man every single time.
I'm a professional dating and relationship coach. And, it is my mission
to help men like yourself understand us, women, and become a more confident man.
So, if you haven't already subscribed to our channel, make sure you do so now. And of
course, give us a big thumbs up! Okay, let's talk about approaching women in
public. You see, it's a really fine line between coming across as a stalker and
making us feel really unsafe in your approach and your presence. And of course,
then painting yourself as a sort of alpha male and someone who knows what it
is that he wants and isn't afraid to get it. Truth is, guys, is that we actually,
majority at the time, do want to be approached. Because it makes us feel
special and singled out from any other girl around us. And let's face it, most of
the time, we actually do want to meet somebody in real life, right? As opposed
to on a daily nap. The difference is, is if we're actually putting out, you know,
kind of vibes and signals that we don't want to be approached, because either
we're busy with friends or we're just not in the mood. That is not a green
light for you to try and push that boundary or push your agenda on us. So
that's why in this video, I really want to kind of break it down for you, guys. So
that you can understand if, and when to approach a woman, and how to do it
successfully, so that you leave the right impression and walk away knowing that
you have a chance with this girl. So I'm going to give you my Top 10 Tips. And if
you stay to the end, I'm also going to give you access to our free Conversation
Cheat Sheet, which is absolutely amazing. Because not only will you know how to
approach a woman, but then you will also have the confidence to know exactly what
to say to get her hooked. #10: Assess the environment. Just because you
see her, again, it doesn't mean that you have the right to go up and actually
start talking to her. And if you have someone who struggles with rejection, if
you don't actually look at the situation first, and there is a possibility that
she will reject you, and of course that doesn't really help you build your
confidence. So, have a look at what she is doing. Is she engaged in a conversation
with somebody else? Is she intoxicated? Is she wearing a wedding ring? So therefore,
she's completely off limits. Really try and assess all the little details first,
and take your time. Just because you've seen her straight away, doesn't mean that
you should automatically go up to her straight away. Maybe, she's already with a
guy, and he's just gone to the bathroom. Wait a couple of minutes, even up to
about five minutes to really work out whether or not this woman is ready to be
approached. Now, it doesn't mean that you sit behind a bush, and you stare at her
because that's kind of creepy. It's about just acting natural and glancing over or
looking from a distance and really, like I said, assessing the situation first, to
work out whether or not you can or should even approach her in the first
place. #9: What is her body language saying? We subconsciously
project what it is that we're feeling, and to some degree, what it is that were
even thinking without even realizing through the way that we hold our posture
and our body. If a woman has her arms crossed, or any part of her legs or body
crossed, or maybe has a handbag in front of her, then, basically what she's doing
is she's kind of projecting out there that she doesn't necessarily want to be
approached or she doesn't feel open and comfortable in talking to someone that
she doesn't actually know. Maybe, she's had a bad day or maybe, she's had a lot
of men come up to her. Wait and see if she relaxes a little. If she is really
putting out that vibe that she feels either hostile towards anyone around her,
or she has this scared look on her face, then it's important to make sure that
you don't approach in a way that would be overly intimidating towards her. When
you do start to approach women because just because her body language may be
crossed, it doesn't mean that you can't approach her. It it's just about being aware.
Because if you're aware of what she might be mentally
expecting or focusing at that point in time, then it gives you an idea of how
you should, actually, respond to her or how you should, actually, handle the
approaches such. For instance you wouldn't come up from behind her, because
that's just kind of a bit scary and a little bit disrespectful as such. You
would maybe approach from the side, but still within her peripheral vision so
that she doesn't feel that you're kind of creeping up on her. Now, once you do,
actually approach her, make sure that you continue to watch her body language
through the whole conversation to see if she's feeling relaxed in your presence
as such. You'll know this because she'll start to open up her arms and her
shoulders a little bit. She'll start to uncross her body. And she may even start
to turn herself a little bit towards you. #8: Make yourself and your
presence aware to her without, actually directly, approaching her. Now, the way
that we do this is simply by moving into her line of sight. It doesn't mean you go
and stand right there in front of her, because that's a little bit weird it's
more about being in her peripheral vision. And then what you do is over time,
you don't have to do it straight away give yourself a couple of minutes for
her to get comfortable with and also, just aware of your presence. Start to
move a little bit further into her line of vision, so that she can actually see
that you're there and so that she can start to assess the situation as well.
Because don't forget, once she actually begins to notice you, she's going to
start to do her own kind of little audit of the situation as well. And you want
her to start to feel comfortable in your presence without you even approaching
her in the first place. And the best way to do that is simply for her to be able
to see you as a normal sort of guy doing your thing and occasionally glancing
over at her. #7: Catch her eye and smile. This is a great way to kind of
start the little bit of the tease and the dance to kind of send her the signal
that you are actually interested. Now, it doesn't mean you deaf stare her down or
let you stare at her creepily. We know that that is not the way to do it.
You can prove that you are a confident man and that you're not afraid to kind
of look at her and be caught. But it's also a great way, again, to make her feel
a little bit special and, again, be aware that you're there and you're actually
interested in her. Now, don't hold her gaze for longer than a cup
of seconds. Kind of look, and then look away, and then look again and look away.
But make sure you smile every time you do it. If you just kind of look at her every
single time like that and games going to come across as kind of really creepy.
A smile is a great way to communicate that you are someone who is friendly and that
you want to put her at ease. #6: Pick a feature to focus on and then use
it as a way to compliment her when you do actually approach. You want to make
sure if you're going to approach her that you have something in mind to be
able to say. It's no good, you know, catching your eye being in her
peripheral vision and then suddenly going up there and just being like (whistling) "soo..."
We love to know that you are a man who has already thought about the process that
you've already come up with some sort of detail that you want to actually ask us
or that you're aware about us. Now, just make sure that this detail isn't
something that can be sexualized. For instance, don't go up and say "Hey! I like
your boobs!" or "Hey! You've got amazing lips!" Anything with lips and breasts or
anything to do with the body part, can be sexualized. Guys keep it really light
whether it is you have a really nice dress or "Hey, I love your hair"
or "You've got beautiful eyes." Eyes is always a winner. Or if you're going to
say something about the mouth, then talk about her smile. By offering us a really
authentic compliment, that doesn't take it too far or doesn't have any sort of
sexual innuendo attached to it, it's going to, again, make us feel really
special. And the more detailed you can get whether you pick out the color of
her jacket, or the pair of shoes that she's wearing, and of course you want to
come across as, you know, not necessarily a fashionista, but a man who's just
noticed something special about her. She's actually going to realize that
you're a man who was able to see beyond just the surface level where women we
love to be told that we are beautiful so you use it to your advantage, guys. And I
will just say this, there are different sort of words which either indicate that
you kind of only want kind of a good time as opposed to that you're actually
someone who is a little bit more genuine. For example, the word "Hot" as opposed to
the word of "Beautiful." Try and make you aware
it's a little bit longer than three syllables. And, actually, put some thought and effort
behind that compliment. #5: Never ever approach from behind. It is
something that is going to make us feel incredibly unsafe in your presence and
it will really have the opposite reaction to what you want. Always
approach either from the side, in which we can see your peripheral vision, or
from the front. Now, if you are approaching from the front, just make
sure that the way that you do it isn't intimidating. you might have a beeline
for her because she's the most gorgeous woman you've ever seen and you've been
captivated by her smile, but it doesn't give you permission to just walk over to
her in such a way that she actually feels a little bit freaked out. if you
have a relaxed friendly yet confident energy about yourself, it's actually
going to put us at ease and be more open to being able to talk to you.
#4: Always have a smile. As I said before, a smile is the perfect way to really put
someone's mind at ease. Remember you don't know who this person from a bar, so
good she doesn't know you from a bar so and you want to make sure that instantly
she feels safe and secure in your presence and the best way to do that is
by having a smile. Now, it doesn't mean that you have a big cheesy grin. It might
be just a simple no-teeth smile. Or it might be just kind of like a crooked
little smile. Whatever it is, don't force it. Just make sure that it's natural and
if she smiles back, then you've got a good chance.
Just stay natural and happy, almost like we're an old friend and you're
approaching us with the same sort of attitude. #3: Have a relaxed
body language yourself and don't come too close. It's really kind of wise, no
matter how bored she is and I know how much you want to really keep a distance
of about a meter. The last thing that you want to do is feel that you can get into
her personal space. We don't like that. Majority of the time, we don't want to be
touched, unless we want to be touched. And just because we are maybe opening up our
body language a little bit more to you because we obviously feel safe or we're
interested, it does not mean that you have the right to invade that personal
space. Guys, if you want to shoot yourself in the foot, then all you need to do is
come right close up to her in her face and your ears around a neck or start
touching everywhere, and she is going to want to run a mile.
Simply because she feels that you're too full on you're either too intimidating
or she doesn't feel safe in your presence. To be aware of what your body
language is saying, do you have the sort of confident, yet friendly sort of appeal
when it comes to the way that you hold yourself? Are you having your arms cross
so that you look really intimidating towards her? Or do you just have your
hands in your pocket so that you can just look kind of casual and relaxed? Yet
your body is still turned to her, to show that you were actually interested now
because you're also keeping that gap between you and her, it gives her room to
be able to signal whether or not she is even more interested in you. Because if
she is, then she'll probably, actually, start to edge a little bit more towards
you. Or she'll find a reason to touch you. Let her lead the way when it comes to
the body language and the touching as such right at the beginning. Depending
what she does will give you an indication of how to respond.
#2: Make a joke. Don't be so serious. If you can get her to laugh
within the first couple of minutes then you know what? You have a really good
chance of being able to go on a date with this girl. And you are leaving a
good impression. It doesn't mean that you have to have jokes up your sleeve. You
don't have to perform. We allowed to know that if a guy actually approaches us,
that not only does he have an idea of what it is that he wants to say but he's
someone who is able to just kind of have fun and lighten the mood between us.
Because there's already an expectation with the fact that you're approaching us.
That's your expectation, there's the girl's expectation. And it can always
turn a little bit awkward and you don't want to do that. What you want to do is
you want to put her mind to ease. And the best way to do that is simply to add a
little bit of humor to the situation. And lastly, #1: Ask lots of questions
and listen more than you speak. Again, we know that women like to talk. What you
want to do is you want to actually show that you're interested in who she is. And
the best way to do that, is simply to ask questions; "So, tell me something that
you're interested in like, I don't know, what are you passionate about?" But of
course, actually listen to what it is that she's saying. Now you can actually
show that you're listening to what she's saying simply by the way that you hold
yourself your body language, not fiddling with your phone,
not looking around the room, not looking at your watch, you know. Facing her with
your body language, making sure that you don't have your arms crossed in front of
you, nod into what you're saying, smiling, responding — these are all sort of ways
that you can show that you're actually curious to know who she is and what it
is that she has to say. And you know what, guys, if you can actually do this, it's
going to make us feel prioritized. It's going to make us feel really kind of
special and it's going to plant seeds in our head that you might be different
from all the other guys out there. Another great tip is to affirm that what
she's saying but don't necessarily agree with
everything that she says. Okay, the last thing you want to do is come across as a
guy that's kind of too easy and then we know that you're the kind of want one
thing leave some mystery about yourself. We
love to be surprised and we are kind of drawn to any sort of man that gives us
the whole mysterious kind of gentleman vibe. Your approach is the beginning of
initiating, anything with a woman hence like an either seal your fate or open up
limitless opportunities. That's why it's important to be able to master the
approach so that you can leave a great first impression and also minimize
rejection. Now of course, when you actually go up to her, it's important
that you have a conversation, so if you haven't already downloaded our
Conversation Cheat Sheet then make sure you do it right now. All you need to do
is simply click the image at the bottom of the screen. In this cheat sheet, we're
going to give you simple techniques to make sure that you never run out of
things to say. We're also going to tell you how to initiate conversation no
matter what the situation. And of course, we're going to show you how you can
accelerate the interaction between her so that you can take it to the next
level. Plus so much more! And if you haven't already, hit subscribe then make
sure you do it now because I have so much more to be able to give you in the
next few videos. And honestly guys if you're someone who actually really
struggles with meeting a woman and knowing what to say where to go how to
actually set a great first impression beyond what it is that we're actually
teaching you then, I really really strongly suggest that you check out our
bootcamp schedule. All right, guys, that's it!
Now, I'm Rene Slansky for The Attractive Man Team. Hope you liked this video, don't
forget to share it with your mates and of course, tell us your thoughts and
feelings in the comments below. Until next time, bye for now!