♪♪
Randy: Okay. Thank you very much!
Hope you enjoy the Pandemic Special!
Hi! You here for the special? Here you go.
How was school, Stanley?
It's not school. It's a frickin' joke.
We're not even learning anything.
I know this has all been really hard on you, Stanley.
Do you want to talk about it?
No. I'm fine, Mom. You know, I'm strong.
I'm just worried about how this all affecting
weaker kids like -- you know, like Butters.
Yeah. Well, it's nice you care about your friend.
But if you need to talk --
I know this is really hard on everyone.
Well, that's it, guys.
We have run out of weed for the day.
Oh, hang on. Sorry. Uh, didn't somebody say
the Pandemic Special was a bad idea?
I wasn't saying you wouldn't make money.
I was saying maybe that's not what should matter right now.
Oh, come on. Think about it.
Do you even know anyone personally who's dying of COVID?
Yes! My brother Jimbo, who is in the hospital!
Yeah. Uncle Jimbo.
Jimbo's a fat alcoholic who'd be in the hospital anyway.
All I'm saying is that we can't let
some dirty virus from "China"
completely upend our lives and shut us down!
Please do not quote the President in front of our child!
Sharon, I went to China. Remember? Last season?
I went there to sell our weed, and I ended up hanging out
with Disney and Mickey Mouse. You remember all that?
I know what China's like.
Doesn't surprise me all this shit came from there.
Shelly: We're going back to school! What?
They're gonna let us go back to school!
News reporter: The Park County School District is holding
an all-parent meeting tomorrow, and officials are hopeful
that students can return to school on Monday.
Oh, that's great!
Oh, I don't know if this is a good idea.
The openings come on the heels of news
that scientists are getting closer to finding the origins
of the COVID pandemic.
Y-Yes, we've been able to trace the virus
and confirm that it did, in fact, come from
a seedy part of China.
Ha! Told ya!
And, in fact, we've pinpointed the virus
to a certain bat in Wuhan.
A bat in Wuhan?
What we still don't understand is,
how did a transmitted disease get from a bat to a human?
How can a virus jump species like that?
We just don't know.
♪♪
Hello.
Oh! Oh, hey!
[ Handcuffs clicking ]
You could use some tegridy, China!
-Here's to China! Ha ha! -To China!
Boy, you sure know how to party, Mick!
Oh, my God! Look at her! Ha ha!
She is so hot!
I think that's a bat.
Yeah! It's a bat!
It's a mouse with wings!
Hey, Mick? Where'd ya go?
Ha ha! Ha ha! Ooh, boy!
-Ohh! -Ha ha!
Randy, you gotta try it! Go ahead. Take a turn.
Ohh-oh-oh-oh!
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Stan: If they're letting us go back to school,
then soon we can get back to everything.
I mean, doesn't this mean things are finally
going back to normal? Dad?
I gotta go!
♪♪
[ Telephones ringing ] Then sell fucking Epcot Center!
If we can't get people on the rides,
then sell the fucking thing!
No, no, no! I said more "Mandalorian"!
Jesus Christ! We're fucking dying here!
[ Beep ] What?! Fucking what?! Ha ha.
Hey. It's Randy Marsh. From -- From Tegridy Farms?
What do you want, Marsh?! I'm in the fucking weeds here!
Look. Um... Do you remember
when we fucked that bat in Wuhan?
I've fucked a lot of bats!
Well, I've only fucked one!
I remember -- right after, I got really sick,
and this was all back in October.
Jesus Christ, you fucker! You started all this!
You told me to fuck the bat!
You didn't quarantine yourself after you got home?!
Nobody knew anything about COVID when I fucked the bat!
I thought I just came back from China with the flu!
Look. We can't let scientists find that bat.
My wife is crazy.
If she finds out I started the pandemic,
she's gonna be a total bitch about it.