It is time to play the Midnight Gameshow!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
This, of course, is the only game where if you snooze...
AUDIENCE: ..you lose!
Quite right! So, let's find out who I woke up in the dead of night.
He is TV's favourite criminal barrister, and, frankly, I'm lucky
that I'm not behind bars for breaking and entering into his home.
Of course, I woke up Judge Rinder!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
I've got to come up, Rob. I'm coming up.
So, Rob, it's very good to see you again.
Erm... Now... This is a little bit awkward.
So, I woke you up in the middle of the night... Mm-hm.
..on the Midnight Gameshow.
Would you like to share your general feelings towards me?
Erm... Well...
It's difficult to describe my contempt and hatred for you.
Because, unfortunately, a lot of people enjoy the experience,
but it did make you a little bit enraged.
I had no idea who you were because I didn't have my glasses on.
That's quite scary. Yes. I thought,
"What's my auntie Adele doing in my bedroom?"
Is your auntie Adele a very handsome, masculine woman?
Very beautiful.
So, tell me about when you went to bed that night.
Do you remember the preceding evening?
Yes. I'd been writing, and I'd had a couple of glasses of Scotch
and thought, "I really need to get a good night's sleep." Yes.
And I was dead, genuinely dead to the world. You were.
Really, I needed to get a good night's sleep
because I had something quite important to do next day.
I'm sorry about that. We won't give it away, but, actually,
some people came into your room that you were incredibly excited to see.
Oh, yeah, there was one moment. There was one moment.
But you were so happy. I was happy at that point.
But I thought that I was in some very,
very surreal Alice In Wonderland dream. Yes. Erm...
I kind of still do. No, this is... I can understand that.
Well, I have to say, you were ultimately a great sport.
Are you ready to watch it, Rob?
It is brilliant.
I just... I just want to get an injunction, but...!
If anyone can...! APPLAUSE
Ladies and gentlemen, Judge Rinder's Midnight Gameshow!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
KEYS JANGLE
Shhh!
GAME SHOW MUSIC PLAYS Rob!
HE CRIES OUT
It's the Midnight Gameshow!
BANG!
Whoohoo!
Hi, Rob. Can you tell me what's going on?!
Hi, Rob! How are you? You're a lunatic!
I'm so sorry!
Were you listening to some kind of sleep app?
No, no, Deep Space Nine from Star Trek.
Listen, I'm going to ask you some questions...
What are you talking about?!
The first question is...
It's like my worst nightmare.
It's actually going to get super-fun. OK. That's good.
You grew up, I believe, in Southgate. Is that right?
That's right. And that is on the Piccadilly Line. Yes.
Can you name three Tube stations on the Piccadilly Line?
Er, Cockfosters - hilariously - erm...
Yeah, Cockfosters, Wood Green
and Bounds Green. You are correct.
You look very well... in the middle of the night.
I just woke up! No, I know!
So, how many jumpers
is this jumper wearing? MUSIC: Grandstand theme
What's wrong with you?! Did you know about this?
Of course I did!
So, here we have Greg Rutherford, Olympic champion.
How many jumpers is that jumper wearing?
How many do you think?
Seven jumpers.
That's so close! It's ten. Words can't describe
my hatred for you right now.
It's ten jumpers. I'm sorry. OK.
Thank you very much to Greg. OK, we move on to the next game. Now,
I'm so sorry to tell you, Rob,
a well-known celebrity has stolen an item from your home...
Right. ..earlier today.
I'm now going to call the defendant accused of this crime
for you to cross-examine.
Now...do you recognise the defendant?
That is Sooty. Now, Sooty is accused
of burglary, and his defence lawyer is here with him today.
SWEEP SQUEAKS
So, Rob, all I need you to do is to cross-examine the defendant,
and Sooty and his defence lawyer will answer either yes or no.
And yes is...? SHORT SQUEAK
That's yes. And no is... LONGER SQUEAK
OK. So, can you discover what it is through your questioning?
DRAMATIC MUSIC Hello, Sooty.
Did you steal one of my... Oh, yeah, did you steal one of my books?
No. Erm, have you nabbed a painting?
No. It's very late!
It's quarter to two in the morning. That's what I've got.
Rob, Rob, a serious crime has been committed.
I think you need to get to the bottom of this, otherwise...
You're an absolute lunatic. You're a lunatic.
Did you take it from the kitchen?
No. Was it from the study?
Ah! Oh! It was in the study. Was it a photograph?
No. No. Was it an award?
No. I haven't got any of them, anyway.
Is it an ornament?
Yes. Ooh!
Ah! Is it a Russian doll, by any chance?
Oh, my... And where is this Russian...?
I thought... I was working there before and I thought it had gone!
And there it is!
It's very heavy. Don't drop it.
Careful. Oh, no, they're having a fight over it!
It's really kicked off.
Thank you very much, Sooty and Sweep. OK,
right, I'm going to now ask you to put this blindfold onto your eyes.
Why? Well, all will be revealed.
I thought I was in the middle of a strange hallucination.
That's exactly how we planned it. So pop your blindfold on. OK,
now, I am going to
ask you to identify the type of ball that I place in your hands. OK?
So, here comes your first ball.
Who is giving me a ball? Now, what kind of ball is that?
Erm, that's a rugby ball or an American football.
That is the correct answer! You're doing very well so far.
But I don't want to do well! I want to go to sleep.
Here's your final ball.
If you put your hands out and feel the latest ball...
What ball is it? Sorry...
Wait, hang on. What?
Is that...? That's your head. No. I can give you some clues...
Oh, God, please... ..about this Ball.
This Ball is 81 years old.
It's not Ed Balls, is it?
No, this Ball is a 1980s children's television presenter.
Oh, God. It can't be Zoe Ball's dad?
How are you? That's the correct
answer! I'm sorry I woke you up.
Go back to sleep.
It's Johnny Ball!
HE STAMMERS
You...You can't... This is not normal.
That's the idea! Thank you very much.
Johnny Ball, ladies and gentlemen! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
OK, it's time to test you on some classic TV theme tunes.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'll know them. I'm going to give you
the title of a show, and all you have to do
is remember the theme to that show. We'll start with an easy one. Go on.
Dallas.
Oh, yeah. Erm...
HE HUMS THE THEME
MICHAEL JOINS IN
THEME PLAYS
OK, next up.
What theme tune is associated with this person?
Oh, my God, it's Zammo McGuire! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! It's just the best thing ever!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! That's the best thing ever!
That's an amazing moment, ladies and gentlemen.
How are you? I'm really good, thank you. It's Lee MacDonald!
Yes. This is Zammo McGuire!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Sorry. Sorry.
That's the best...
Oh, my God! Just Say No! This is Zammo McGuire!
Just Say No! I swear on my life, this is the most...
# Just say no! #
# Just be a hero Be who you are... #
You did boxing and...? Yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You were born in 1968, I think. What?! Yeah, yeah, he was born
on the 21st of June 1968.
I used to get the annuals.
Yeah. And you were my favourite.
I used to get the annuals.
This is unbelievable.
Mrs McClusky...
You got the annuals! You know his birthday! Roland Browning!
Erkan Mustafa! He saved me, yeah, yeah.
It's Grange... Whoever... Do you know what?
I don't hate you any more.
I actually... This is the most exciting... I'm your biggest fan.
I know this is an incredible moment,
but of all the game shows in history, no-one has ever
answered a question by filling in ALL the other information.
I'm genuinely... The question was, "What is the theme tune?"
It's Grange Hill.
HE HUMS THE THEME
THEY JOIN IN
THEME TUNE PLAYS
Sorry, do you have to go? No, no, everyone's staying.
Are you going to get into bed with me?
Oh, not in that way! Just to sleep!
Go on, then, you get in bed. It's a big bed.
We're going to build the bed up. Johnny?
Johnny's coming back.
And Greg's come in. Come on, Greg, squeeze in there. Johnny's in.
All right. Now, behind your window...
Are you going to clean that?
Well, it will be cleaned by a mystery window cleaner.
All I need you to do is answer the following questions,
and a little bit will be revealed.
So, if you can answer the following pop-based questions...
There's no chance I'll get any of these right.
Which '90s pop group had their seventh number one with
a track titled Never Forget?
Uh, that was Take That.
That's the correct answer. And look, oh, my God, there's actually
a person there. What can you see? I can see it looks like it's a woman
and she's wearing something very nice.
What?! What? You're cleaning my windows in the middle of the night!
What's wrong with you?! Next question. Which Jamaican rapper
released Boombastic in 1990...?
Mr Boombastic. Yes. I don't know.
Shaggy. That's the correct answer. Well done.
Who is it? That's what I'm asking you.
I don't know, because... OK.
Which group released the single Barbie Girl in 1997?
# I'm a Barbie girl In a... #
I-I... Why would I know that?
I don't listen to anything that happened after 1899.
Aqua. That's the correct answer!
GEORGE FORMBY: # When I'm cleaning windows! #
What? What?
Who's that? It's Louise! It is!
Come on, Louise!
In you come! I... Oh, my gosh!
Thank you very much, and good night!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
I'm here! In your bed.
Oh, Louise, I love you, but could you swap with Greg, please?
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
No! TOO fun!
Do you still hate me? No! That was fun, right?
No.
Yes or no? No. No, I mean, Zammo McGuire was exciting.
Tell me about what on earth's going on.
Were you obsessed with Grange Hill? Yeah, I was a mad Grange Hill fan.
And you've got this incredible memory.
You knew his birthday and everything about him. Yes.
And did you see the moment where he got quite creeped out
and wanted to...? The whole idea was to surprise you,
and he just literally, like, "Get me out of this."
Completely freaked out by the whole thing!
He thought I was a stalker! Yeah!
It's very rare that people actually break into the homes
of their own stalkers.
It was an incredibly unfortunate turn of events.
It happens to me all the time, because I remember, you know,
things about people. I'll never be able to forget this, for example.
You thought Ed Balls was in his 80s.
I don't know, that time of night,
it's difficult to discern between Balls.
Difficult. Well, listen, you were an absolutely amazing sport.
Before you go, we have actually made for you a...
Well, a court artist has drawn this lovely piece.
So, this is a court artist.
This is something for you to have on a wall.
That is you, that is Sooty and Sweep. Look at that!
That is a lovely moment. So you must treasure that. And, of course,
nobody who plays the Midnight Gameshow goes away
without their iconic "Do not disturb" sign
to ensure this will never, ever happen again to you.
Ladies and gentlemen, the wonderful
Judge Rinder! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE