- People kind of this area here,
what do you want to rap about?
- [Audience Member] Palm trees and tikis.
- Palm trees and tikis,
thank you very much,
yeah pretty tropical and cool.
Well someone over there
really excited for that for no reason.
(audience laughs)
How confusing, wow.
Palm trees and tikis, I like it.
- [Audience Member] Going to the bathroom.
- Going to the bathroom you say?
- [Audience Member] Yeah.
- Yeah, cool.
Any particular aspect of that?
(audience laughs)
Yeah anything cool, going to the bathroom,
palm tree's and tikis.
Back of the room, what do you wanna to rap about?
- [Male Audience Member] Mexicans.
- [Female Audience Member] Alcohol.
- Alcohol is very general, what did you say?
- [Male Audience Member] Mexicans.
- Mexicans, okay we'll combine it,
Mexicans and alcohol that seems--
(audience laughs)
I don't know your racial stereotypes over here,
I don't know.
Okay so going to the bathroom, palm tree's and tikis,
alcohol and Mexicans.
- [Audience Member] Twerking and Kanye.
- What'd you say, what?
- [Audience Member] Twerking and Kanye.
Twerking and Kanye, not everything doesn't
have to be an and in the middle all right.
I feel like we set this up.
That's cool, yeah, twerking and Kanye,
tikis and palm trees, alcohol and Mexicans,
going to the bathroom.
Middle front what do you want to rap about?
(audience crosstalk)
I mean it's just a full conversation going on
at the back over there.
(audience laughs)
I think a white boy is about to rap,
I think he's about to rap.
Should we leave now?
No, I've think they've locked the doors.
I think, I think we should probably stay.
Yeah we should probably stay.
Front of the room, what do you want to rap about?
- [Audience Member] Karaoke.
- Karaoke, do you have a favorite song you like at karaoke?
- [Audience Member] No.
- No?
(audience laughs)
Do you not like karaoke?
- [Audience Member] The fact that--
- Why you looking to the women next to you?
Why are you?
You can enjoy things without
your partner giving you approval.
I mean I used to enjoy it
and then all the joy was taken.
Do you like karaoke?
- [Audience Member] Yes.
- Yes, okay.
It feels like you just got kicked
under the table there, just like, say yes.
Cool, this man loves karaoke.
So, suggestions, palm trees and tikis,
going to the bathroom, twerking and Kanye,
Mexicans and alcohol, this man who loves karaoke.
That's great, that's what we need,
this is going to be a freestyle rap.
That is a rap made up on the spot
based entirely on those suggestions,
never been written down,
never been rehearsed, never to be seen again.
And do not worry, it will not be anywhere near as
atrociously bad as those women
were discussing it would be.
So, if we could drop that beat my friend,
let's do this.
(piano music)
(beat drops)
♪ Catch me on the sand, on the beach ♪
♪ Got my hand on a glass and I see the palm tree ♪
♪ It's a tiki drink, yeah it comes from Hawaii ♪
♪ Trader Vic, Trader Mel, yeah they wanna buy me ♪
♪ A nice Mai Tai, put the pineapple in ♪
♪ I like to put a little bit of sugar on the rim ♪
♪ Never that salt ♪
♪ It doesn't really please ♪
♪ Yeah I like my tiki drink ♪
♪ Yeah fuck a margherita ♪
♪ Made with tequila, down low ♪
♪ Coming from that country, Mexico ♪
♪ I say it with an "H" and not with an "X" ♪
♪ If you're in Oaxaca province, what happens next ♪
♪ You can take blue agave and when it swells ♪
♪ Roast it in a little oven make mezcal ♪
♪ Tequila and mezcal when will they learn ♪
♪ One is crystal clear and the others got a worm ♪
♪ Yeah I will move on you know I'm gonna slay ya ♪
♪ Drunk like a Mexican on my cerveza ♪
♪ I like that ♪
♪ I put a lime in it ♪
♪ So the flies don't get in it ♪
♪ 'Til I am finished ♪
♪ Next thing, I am gonna go berserk ♪
♪ I might bend over, let my backside twerk ♪
♪ Over to my right, who's this guy I say ♪
♪ Come on in Mr West, it's Kanye ♪
♪ Seeing me, for the talents I display ♪
♪ Tryin to wear the glasses with the slits on the shades ♪
♪ Did an album ten years ago ♪
♪ My Dark Twisted Fantasy but then oh no ♪
♪ All his output lowered in quality ♪
♪ He was onto Jesus like follow me ♪
♪ He did Sunday service at Coachella ♪
♪ It didn't go well like British weather ♪
♪ But, still I like it when the backside claps ♪
♪ If I feel like I need a backside crap ♪
♪ Where am I gonna go ♪
♪ You might assume ♪
♪ I just hobble to my left ♪
♪ Over to the bathroom ♪
♪ I'd be walking in, it's not deserted ♪
♪ Careful of the diarrhea someone squirted ♪
♪ On the wall ♪
♪ Oh ♪ ♪ I might be a DREAMer ♪
♪ So I get a wipe and I act as the cleaner ♪
♪ Take it away ♪
♪ While the boy rapping ♪
♪ I got my own beat ♪
♪ No need for your clapping ♪
♪ That is okay though ♪
♪ I give it a miss ♪
♪ Why do men stand so far away when they piss ♪
♪ It doesn't make sense ♪
♪ You get the drips on the floor ♪
♪ No lyrics here like the guy does adore ♪
♪ He be like come on guys join my team ♪
♪ We're gonna go and sing words ♪
♪ That we read on the screen ♪
♪ Karaoke, hit the chords for sure ♪
♪ What does it mean ♪
♪ Empty orchestra ♪
♪ Translate Japanese, yeah I'm a smart guy ♪
♪ Let me stand up, Barbara Streisand ♪
♪ That is my song, I choose it from the booth ♪
♪ I spit the true lyrics, I spit the real truth ♪
♪ I'm always off pitch and I'm always off key ♪
♪ But I have fun when I've got that guy with me, yeah ♪
(audience cheering)